Saturday, January 4, 2014

Things That Make You Ask "Why?" Part 2

Things that make you ask "why? Just, why?"
Courtesy of my phone camera.

Why was this able to get past every single department involved in designing the children's menu at this large scale chain family restaurant? "How many of you young in's want a chick-on-a-stick? Its the weekend kids, live it up!"

Why was I unaware that Santa was such a pimp?

Santa say's ho, we all say heeeeeey!

Why not? Oh yea, cuz my awesome attorney and I will sue your ass. Love you!

Why me? Why me :(  I can't afford to fix this right now, so I'm typing to all of you on a laptop rigged up with duct tape, a chip clip, and a screen propped up by a mixing bowl. Nice. I would publically like to thank the two year old boy child, for forcing me to expand the boundaries of my creativity and personal growth.

Why did no one tell me people camp like this!? I actually enjoyed standing in this campsite for like 26 seconds. And then I was over it. But, it wasn't all bad, so if anyone wants to go camping like this, I may consider changing my stance on the whole camping thing. As long as there are beds. And showers. and no enclosed umbrella's to sleep in. Actually, let's just take all of the presents and the lights, and put them in my hotel room. Yall can keep the tent.

Why are tampon's pretending they are fortune cookies? I don't know about you, but it is highly unlikely that I am going to read "dare to be unstoppable" on a tampon and change my entire outlook of the day. I don't even know what "Live it. Breath it. Kick it" means. What might make me happier would be if they were $.75 off at the store because they canned the entire motivational quote department at Playtex. Just make them work, ok? I don't care if you come in pink, or black, or with quotes, or whatever the hell you people are dreaming up over there. Just work. I'm not buying them for their colors. 

Why do I not own this? Seriously. Someone buy this for me. Stat.

Again, why are some people at Fed Ex still employed?

Why do I continue to live here? It actually got down to -20 degrees. All you people from XOJane who offered to adopt me and my kids into your family, I would like to take up the offer with anyone who lives in a warm state. Stat.

Why did no one tell me I could improve my dates? Maybe Sparkles would have never happened had I freshened him up a bit.

"Bad date? Just add swagger!"

And then, make him hot!!

Why not have an oversized "Simpson's The Movie" set in the lobby of the oil change place? Cuz that seems logical.......

And there ya go. A week in the life of my camera phone.

All photo's credited to me this week!


  1. My daughter has it out for my husband's laptop too. When it's not in use I have to put it up to the top level of the shelving unit where it taunts her and she throws things at it. She has hit the throwing stage with a vengeance. She throws her food and bath toys at the cat, who just sits there like "Huh, this is interesting."

    1. Its the draw of "If I'm not allowed to touch it, that must be because its REALLY AWESOME!!!" Too funny about the cat. My pug was the same way

    2. When unfortunate things happen to your children, do you ever have the urge to laugh, then help? And by "happen," I mean, "cause to happen to themselves"? We keep the stock pot out and available for baby girl to play with. Yesterday, the husband and I are standing around the kitchen talking and my dear daughter is standing between us with the stock pot behind her. She turns around and considers it, squats down to assess the height and deems it the perfect height for toddler sitting. She sits down on the edge of the pot and promptly falls in! She was very upset, wailing, arms and legs waving. The two of us could not stop laughing at her! Luckily, my husband had the forethought to take a picture before rescuing her. (I was too overcome, to do so... if we were home alone, she might still be in the pot)

    3. Haha!! Oh yes, I laugh and then help quite a bit around here. As long as I don't see blood and it wasn't obviously painful, I laugh and then help quite a bit. You can't help not too!

      That is really funny about the pot. I once got a call from daycare that my son had hurt his head bc he fell over and his head got stuck in a bucket.

  2. At least your laptop is still working! My old red friend rested on a tray table in the living room for two years - for easy access. Until, after watching herself on videos my 6 month old granddaughter decided it was time to push it away. So, it toppled over - crashing to the carpet. My feeble brain really thought it would work; so, I tried over and over to reboot, restart, refresh... I had no idea what I was doing. Of course, what I did, was run to Best Buy the very next day. hahaha Kids are the best! Hope yours keeps on truckin' - computer and the kids!

    1. Oh no lol!! I wish I could run to Best Buy! This computer had better keep working or no one will be hearing from me for a while!

  3. Oh my gosh, the tampons are sooooo funny!!!