Monday, June 30, 2014

Make Money Makeover


In my post "When Everything Is Just Not Ok" I explained that in order to start gathering the money that I would need to pay for my daughter's broken window, a window that my ex shot, I had sold my bed and the chair in my bedroom.

I slept like that for ooooh...about a week before I realized how unhealthy that was going to be for my mental state. My daughter and I were sleeping on the floor because the man who was supposed to have taken care of us, was ruining us.

That is seriously depressing.


Good-bye bedroom


Taking the bed apart for the new owners to pick up

Hello very empty room

As I laid there on my mattress, on the floor, and looked around at my room, I realized how angry I was. I hate that room, always have. My ex was rarely home when he lived here and therefore not much of the house ever had his mark on it, but when he was home, when we were "together," it was most often in the bedroom. When my ex left, one of my best friends and I wasted no time in painting the walls; walls that I had spent years staring at as I lay in bed desperately trying to mentally escape the things that were happening to my body. Painting helped, but the furniture, the feel of the room, it never changed.

Still lying there on a stack of mattresses, I decided that this would not be another situation for him to get the better of me; this would be a situation that I would use to make life better FOR me.


I decided that I was going to embark on a "make money makeover." I was going to give myself a new room and not only that, but I was going to make money doing it to put towards the cost of the window.

I had an extra bed frame that I had been meaning to sell, but it's so generic that what I would be able to sell it for made it almost not even worth selling, and therefore it had sat in my partial basement for a while. I dragged it up to my room and my neighbor helped me put it together.

I sold the solid cherry wood picture frame that was hanging above my bed for $50. Since I still wanted the photo that I had taken of the bridge to be displayed, I spray painted a frame that I had picked up off of someones curb on trash day. Yep, I did that. It had some ugly watercolor picture of patio furniture in it. Nope, I'm not kidding. So anyways, I spray painted the sucker white and since my bridge photo was too small for the mat that was already in there, I double matted it with the one from the cherry frame.

I sold my bedding set for $75 and just left the duvet cover on that I used under the bedding set. It matches alright and more importantly, didn't cost me anything.



I had a chair in my library that never really fit quite right, so moved it to my "new" bedroom, along with a side table from my living room.



The new bed is white and obviously didn't match any of the remaining cherry wood pieces that I had in my room. I used some paint that I had left over from when I refinished the bathroom cabinets and after almost breaking my fingers removing the firebox, I painted the electric fireplace heater.




Well, then the black mirror above the fireplace clashed with the now white fireplace, so I painted that also.



Of course, after I painted the fireplace, it REALLY clashed with the cherry armoire that I had refinished and stained myself, so I sold that and made an even financial swap for an Ikea dresser that took me 29 hours to put together.

Good-bye armoire

Hello 400 pieces that if put together correctly should resemble a dresser.


I was feeling a bit daunted...

At this point it was roughly one o'clock in the morning and I was so frustrated that I was about ready to punch myself in the face with a hammer. At one point I built all the drawers...INSIDE OUT. Then when I took them all apart and rebuilt them again, one was inside out....AGAIN!

The dresser lives!!

I had to lower the frame that was previously hanging above the armoire to a more dresser appropriate height and then I painted that white as well.

The black frames hanging in the alcove didn't look quite right anymore, so I sold them for $15 and spent $6 on mirrors that surprisingly didn't take me that long to hang up.

Old mirrored frames on the left, new mirrors on the right

The brown birdcage that was sitting on the alcove shelf no longer matched, so I spray painted it with left over paint from another project.

First of three coats on!

I then sold the only cherry thing left in the room, the ceiling fan, for $50 and replaced it with a $30 light that my friend's electrician husband installed for me.



When all was said and done, I have to say, I am fairly pleased with the results.




To top it off, I have a new room and thanks to the pieces that I sold and replaced with cheaper or refurbished items, when all was said and done I managed to net a couple hundred dollars. Even better than that, thanks to three amazing reader donations and the money that I made off the room, I came within $10 of covering the entire cost of the new window. The girl child and I are very excited for its installation next week! I'm sure I'll post a picture.

The room feels good. It feels... renewed. I didn't realize how much of his energy was hanging around until it wasn't anymore. I didn't realize how much I held my breath every time I walked into that room until I stopped. I hadn't realized that the sick feeling that crept up on me and overtook my soul every time I climbed into bed was being triggered by the memories that hung around with his aura, memories that were intricately tied to the things this room witnessed. I'm a person that goes to bed late and wakes up early and I never realized that a big part of that was because I didn't want to be in my bed....in "our" room.

I feel like a hundred pounds that I didn't even know were weighing down upon me have been lifted.

For the first time in years, I had a very sweet sleep last night with very sweet dreams.

Every piece of artwork in my home is of a bridge. Bridges to me symbolize where I literally came from and figuratively how I have crossed to the other side. My friends got me that large canvas bridge picture as a divorce present.

My ex may still be hanging around, but I refuse to let him get the best of me. I've fought for my life this long, I refuse to let him win. Not only do I want my life back, but I also want my dreams.

I've picked up the pieces of a shattered life and I've built something that I could never even have imagined. Hell, I conqured that Ikea dresser and be assured, that was no small feat.

So go ahead ex, break a window. I will see you your broken window and I will raise you an entire damn bedroom.

I win.


106 comments:

  1. Glad to hear about the window! Room makeovers are fun :) Now you have a chance to redo the girl child's room too :)

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    1. Thanks!! I will just be happy when the window is fixed in her room! It's been ordered and they told me they should be able to install it next week!

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  2. I really need to do something like this to my entire house. You have inspired me. I have kept thinking that I haven't done it yet because I don't have the time or money, but now I see those are just excuses; I just have to get creative and motivated! You're inspiring and talented. If you lived closer, I would pay you to come "do" my house!

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    1. Ha, that would be awesome! I thought about becoming some kind of designer, but then I realized how much math and measuring were involved and quickly had a change of heart. I used to do professional home organization jobs as a little side business to my cleaning business, but I never really put enough time into it to really have it take off.

      You can do it! Just take it one small project at a time. I do not recommend jumping in full force like I did.....

      ;)

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  3. I Love the new room! Great work on turning this into something positive for YOU!!

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    1. Thank you! I got about halfway through (the dresser part) and was like "what on earth was I thinking!!?? This was a terrible idea!"

      Now I am really happy. Also really happy that it is done :)

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  4. Bullshit on selling your stuff. No one pays $75 for ugly used bedding, or anything more than $1 each for those crappy frames. You are so full of shit.

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    1. You might not pay $75, but someone did. I don't even know why I'm bothering, seeing as how you guys never go away, but here ya go!

      https://www.facebook.com/pages/It-Is-Not-My-Shame-To-Bear/655246741204304

      I uploaded the screen shots from the bedding sale as well as the window estimate. (I can't put pictures in the comments and Im not ruining the post with them). When the window gets installed next week I will likely post of picture of them doing it.

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    2. You're in luck, I did a google search of men installing windows, so there should be plenty of stock photos for you to use.

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    3. Well wasn't that nice of you! Can you send me a few that have the same interior of my daughter's bedroom and the same exterior of my townhouse, because that would really save me some time.

      You're a peach, thanks!

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    4. Haha! Way to go Eden. Doesn't it feel good to light a trolls hair on fire? You post pictures proving what they are claiming is false and when they are backed against the wall they shuffle their feet, ignore it comletely, and move on to the next topic.

      Burned!!

      Does anyone smell burning nylon hair??

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    5. Well I'm just saying, if they can save me some time on this little scam I'm running... ;)

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    6. Especially since they seem to have all this free time....

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  5. Shame on you, using this blog to shill for money. Taking advantage of people's good nature - likely people who can ill afford to support themselves, much less YOU. Karma. Getting your readers to feel sorry for you and claiming the money is being put towards security cameras and a new window. Keep it up, eventually people will see right through you. Eventually you will be revealed. You can't keep doing this forever.

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    1. Shame on you for feeling justified to judge me. Just because you don't believe something does not give you the right to deem it false. How do you know what my readers can afford? Who gave you the right to walk around placing judgment on people you have never met? Are you this pleasent in real life? Maybe if you got down off your high horse and mingled with some of us low life's you might actually make a few friends and then be better able to busy yourself with things other than continuing to read things that clearly bother you.

      Look, I'm sorry that it aggravates you so much that I'm here, but this is the Internet. If you don't like me, click onto another page.

      Delete
    2. Don't you dare fucking judge me troll!! Like Eden said who the fuck do you think you are? I've donated in the past, it's my money, and I'll donate to whoever the fuck I want to. Don't you DARE telling me who I am!

      You basically just called me poor and ignorantly swindled by an "internet fraud."

      You can CLEARLY see that she did most of the work herself in the room. You can CLEARLY see on the pictures she posted on Facebook that she sold the bedding (in reference to the other comment someone left) and you can CLEARLY see that she has a window estimate of over $500. Why don't you just go fuck off? Just because you are lazy and CLEARLY not as creative as Eden is, doesn't mean that someone can't make money by selling perfectly good items and replacing them with homemade perfectly nice items.

      Eden came up with a fantastic idea, put in the work, and like she said netted herself a few hundred dollars. Good for her!!
      Now fuck off.

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    3. I LOVE this Anonymous. You're exempted from pissing up ropes, falling off cliffs, dying, or being maimed. *hugs*

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    4. Ha! Wow, that was powerful lol. Thanks :)

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    5. Go Eden!!! And way to go other anonymous!!! You said it perfectly!

      Eden, just know that I believe you. I can see how hard you worked and I am really proud of you and your creativity.

      Keep healing girl! You've got this!

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    6. If anything, the trolls' opposition will make people more disposed to donating :)

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    7. Ha, maybe! I'm fairly certain its the same "Justmy2cents" person that just loves to troll my site here and over on GOMI. It's so strange to me how invested she is!

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    8. Hey Eden! If you haven't already tried, can you maybe find the person's IP (assuming they are using one computer) and block it from your website? It's an easy barrier to bypass, but hopefully the troll isn't THAT invested in annoying the crap out of you/ your readers. Much love xoxo

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    9. I'm going to have my web guy that runs my nonprofit site look into it :) It hasn't really bothered me until now and that is only because I hate to see how upset everyone gets when they all bicker back and forth. This was supposed to be a place of healing :(

      *hugs*

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    10. I find it rather amusing that you assume any financial supporters can ill afford to support themselves. Yes, those of us with internet access on all of our electronic devices are struggling to feed ourselves and pay our bills. hahahaha If you only knew, you poor, poor, little troll. Why so bitter? It's not very becoming.

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    11. Didn't you know? The trolls know EVERYTHING about EVERYONE. That's how they all know exactly what my life is like and who I "really" am. Don't agree with their views on you? Sorry, you are apparently just riddled with mental illness and one day they will expose who they really think you are to the entire world.

      ;)

      Crazy, right?

      Delete
  6. It looks beautiful! It is amazing how a simple and cheap redo of something can change an entire perspective/attitude. Wish I had a tiny bit of your talent to do the same at my house. Great job! Milkshakes and nachos all around! :)

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    1. Haha!! I actually laughed out loud, yay, milkshakes and nachos all around!!!

      Thank you hun :)

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  7. All you anonymous people who are too f*ing afraid to talk shit with a name so we know who you are need to go piss up a rope, fall off a cliff and die. Or at least be maimed.
    I am one of the people who has donated to Eden. I'm not saying that to toot my own horn, but to say that if Eden thinks my money is best spent removing the emotional, spiritual, and karmic shit from her house and her life, she's welcome to it! You people are pathetic.

    Eden...I LOVE your new room. I can absolutely empathize with wanting to remove the memory of your ex from your life. I was so thankful that he kicked me out of his house, and not the other way around. All I had to do to get away from his aura was to get a new house. And good on you for being enterprising, and making this change work for you and your new window! I can't wait until you get to have it put in, and then both you and your darlin' can sleep well at night. *hugs* Oh, and also, Eden, I love you for standing up for yourself to the nameless assholes. I personally support you removing their comments so the rest of us don't have to deal with their stench.

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    1. Thanks hun :) It just sucks because I worked SO hard and I made money on EVERYTHING I sold except for the armoire which I sold and then took ONLY the money that I had from it and bought the dresser (actually I think the dresser was like $7 cheaper than what I sold the armoire for).

      I was really excited to show you guys how hard I worked to be creative to not only make money, but help me emotionally. But no....the trolls just have to rip me down everytime I gain a little self esteem back :(

      Thank you for always being there for me :) And also, even though you say you wouldn't care, the only thing I have EVER spent the donation money on is rent, window, and camera...which now that I think about should have arrived by now.... I'm going to need to check on that.

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    2. This blog needs a like button. :)

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    3. Yeah, fuck those people, Eden. They can't handle you feeling good about yourself. They feel shitty about themselves, and the only way they can keep breathing instead of falling into a pit of despair because they acknowledge what pieces of shit they are is to make other people feel like shit, so they can say "See? I may be fucked up, but I'm not as fucked up as them!"

      And seriously....I know you'd never misuse any donations. I'm not even a little worried. If I have extra, I can't imagine a better possible place for it than with you, where it REALLY makes a difference.

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    4. *tear* I love you guys. Thank you for always having my back and reminding me not to let it get to me.

      You guys are awesome :)

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    5. You worked your arse off to get that stuff sold and HOLY COW your room looks amazing. Be proud of yourself, Eden!

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    6. Oh yeah...One more thing. I LOVE Ikea furniture. I love putting it together. It's like Legos for grownups. Sorry you had such fits, Eden!

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    7. Lego's for grownup's...that is a new one. Love it lol!

      Please see also: I hate lego's.

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    8. LOL I had an inkling that may be the case....

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    9. Don't even get me started on those new lite brix toys. They are lego's with a bajillion tiny fuses that have to be built into the lego's so that when you are done the entire toy lights up. They were the bain of my existence after Christmas

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  8. Oh gosh, your "new" room looks AMAZING. I love it. Well done, you! You did a fantastic job.

    I really, really hope you're able to find some peace in there now. Sounds like you're off to a good star with that nice night's sleep you got. You deserve to have your bedroom be a place of peace, not fear. I'm glad you're getting that now. I can relate to needing to get rid of certain things in a place (because you can't get rid of the place itself - only what's in it) in order to feel better about being in there. It's wonderful that you can paint some things, change the furniture up a bit, and have a completely new experience when you walk into that room. I'm so happy for you.

    Good for you for sticking up for yourself with the trolls. They're just pathetic losers in my opinion. I know I and many others here believe that you're spending the money you receive on making sure you and your children are safe. There are always going to be trolls on the internet. It's an unfortunate fact of life. But the good thing is they're easy to spot, easy to ignore, and easy to delete.

    And Ikea furniture...oh, geez, Ikea furniture. I really LOVE their style and how everything looks once it's set up. But that setting it up process makes me want to chuck things out the window! I don't know how you managed to get that dresser put together by yourself. You've got skills!

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    1. I don't usually bother talking back to the trolls, but I did feel like it was right to at least give proof to the people who have donated that yes, I did make money off the room, no that is not where your donations went, and yes, a window has been ordered and is coming.

      Plus, I've had a few too many people walking on top of me this month and I am tired of it!

      Ikea man, it baits me in and then steam rolls right over me when I get home!! I swear when I opened the dresser box, the ominous "DUN DUN" sound came out of the box. ;)

      Thank you as always :)

      *hugs*

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    2. Sometimes I wish I had an Ikea close to me (nearest one is about an hour away on a good day) and other times I'm relieved. Because I'd spend money that I don't have on furniture that I can't put together.

      But it just looks SO FREAKING GOOD once it's put together that they get me every time I walk into that store.

      The trolls are out in force today. I'm so sorry you've got to deal with them. Just remind yourself how sad and pathetic their lives must be if the only happiness they can find is belittling a complete stranger on the internet. It's not you, believe me. It's them.

      *hugs*

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    3. Back when my ex and I were dating, we had gotten this SUPER cheap entertainment center from Ikea on clearance.

      It was HUGE. like 6.7 feet tall and easily 6 or 7 feet wide. One night we were watching tv and the top shelp fell onto the shelf below it. Before we even know what was happening all the shelves went down like dominos, the entire thing leaned to the right, and then it just completely collapsed on itself. Neither of us moved for a good minute until he ERUPTED into swears and started digging his tv out. HAHAHAHA.

      Yes, Ikea and their flashy store...its like crack for decorators....

      Thank you RE the trolls. :) It's a little crazy to think that people are that miserable. Makes me wonder if any of them are abusers themsevles. They are SO mean and nasty, so righteous feeling, and don't believe people can be abused and or recover :(

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    4. Oh gosh that's hilarious. I can just picture him, "NOOOO!!! NOT MY TV!!!"

      I saw a skit with Amy Poehler once, I want to say on Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live, but I can't be sure. She was saying that Ikea was looking at going into business actually building houses. She says, "Never in your life have you been so afraid of completing an Ikea project, then looking down and seeing an extra peg."

      Made me chuckle. :)

      I do wonder about them sometimes, what they must be doing with their lives and if they're abusers. I try to convince myself that someone who acts like this on the internet is more likely to be wasting his/her life away sitting at their computer all day rather than out actually doing anything with other people. At least I hope that's the case.

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    5. That is funny! That's kind of what happened when I build the drawes. I put them all together (pegs, locking peg joints, and thos plastic screw things that you nail in, and THEN realized that the holes for the tracks to go on the drawes were all incorrectly on the inside of the drawer now. I had put them all together inside out. i was really not happy. That was probably Karma's way of bitch slapping me for laughing at my Ex's entertainment center fiasco!

      I know right? What a sad life to be fully invested in something that angers you so much. :(

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    6. That's why anger and bitterness are addictive :( As you have posted about before, it's a cycle that needs to be broken out off. Maybe help the trolls to recovery? :/

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    7. Haha! We can start a twelve step trolling recovery program!

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    8. Wow, I just realized all the typo's I had upthread. What on earth was I doing ? haha

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  9. Eden, I LOVE the room! What a fantastic idea!!

    Is there any way you can have Mr. Attorney Man find out who these trolls are and send them a cease and desist letter? I hate to see you getting ripped apart like this.

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    1. Yes, because she's got an excess of cash laying around and that would be a good use of her (your) money.

      If Eden doesn't like being ripped apart, she's got plenty of options to avoid the big meanie comments. Like maybe, don't blog? But then, that would cut off her funding from her readers, so that's not really an option.

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    2. I just responded to you down thread about her finances and Mr. Attorney Man.

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    3. Actually, correction, I could just delete all the comments that I don't like and then it would look like EVERYONE believed me and NO ONE doubted me, but I am confident enough in the intellect of most of my readers to be able to filter out the doubters and I don't believe in making this the Truman Show version of blog comments.

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    4. Chrissi,

      Thank you :)

      Yes, there are things you can do to track a commentor but it's not really worth my time. As for Mr. Attorney Man, he is a family law attorney so he would probably just refer me to someone else. Before any of that though, I would just make the comments need to be moderator (me) approved.

      Thanks for caring though hun :)

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    5. I got the impression, troll, that Mr. Attorney Man and Eden do have some sort of financial arrangment, which I know will just piss you off even more, but unlike you, there really are just some kind hearted people in the world who want to help other people out. Eden has certainly had her fair share of troubles and seems to be a very sweet person who really is trying to build herself a better life, I can't imagine that that would go unnoticed to him.

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  10. Her donate button was supposedly to fund her alleged "non profit" but now she's accepting personal donations to support herself? She can afford to pay an attorney, though, right?

    I'm sorry you're all so angry because people are pointing out the obvious, because you're too obtuse to see that you're being played.

    Poor lemmings. Off the cliff they go.

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    1. No, her donate button was set up at the insistence of all her readers when she was at risk of losing her home.

      Try harder next time.

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    2. Um...no. Where did you come up with that idea? The donate button came about from the post "On My Way To Homelessness" when the other readers and myself badgered Eden into putting it up. It was never tied to her nonprofit so I'm sorry, but you are WAY off base.

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    3. Sorry afairytale, I was replying to the original poster, not you. ;D, yes, I agree with you.

      We pushed Eden into it! (She is so stubborn, but we won her over)

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    4. My understanding of it from her post about Mr. Attorney Man is that they have some sort of financial arrangment. Now that they work together on the nonprofit maybe he doesn't charge her at all.

      Yes, I also remember the donation button going up at reader request to help her with mortgage and other crisis costs

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    5. I have to say, I really love it when I don't have to say anything back to the doubters at all and I can just nod my head in agreement with you guys lol.

      ((nodding, nodding))

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  11. Your new room looks so much brighter with the white furniture! What marketplace do you sell your used goods on? I also have an old bed frame that's been sitting in my garage, but I never bothered because I thought no one would buy it. Your things sold quick.

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    1. Funny, I noticed that too. I needed a happy, brighter, room. Now just to keep little hands off a very white chair.....geesh.

      You know, I was shocked at how fast everything sold. I had always used craigslist before and a few online yard sale sites and I'd done alright I guess, but this time I used a facebook group specific to the area that I live in. You just upload your pic with price and location and it goes directly to the newsfeed of everyone who has "liked" the group. The bed had like seven offers in ten minutes (which made me kick myself for not pricing it higher), the bedding had I think 10 offers within thirty mins, and everything else sold within a day or two. You should see if your area has one! Try searching your location and the words "buying" and "selling."

      Good luck!

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    2. Yeah...good luck with the little hands and the white furniture, haha. ;)

      I'm going to have to try searching for a Facebook group in my area. I never thought of that and I've got a couple of things I'd like to sell. Thanks!

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    3. I was wondering about how you sold stuff for good prices... we had a yard sale recently, I was helping this older disabled lady try to sell her things to make herself some money. (I brought some stuff over too, but it was mainly hers and mainly for her.) We sat there for 7 hours and I made exactly 7 dollars (seriously! I swear!) and she made 12 dollars. (And she had some good stuff too! Really! I couldn't believe it just sat there!) So all together we made under $20 for all that hard work (lugging it out, setting it up, sitting in the hot sun, making change, wasting a Saturday, etc.) Very discouraging. The only good part is that it costs $20 to place a Garage Sale ad in the local "Pennysaver" (not sure they have those everywhere but they're a free paper that people advertise stuff in, sort of like a printed Craigslist, although they long predate that) and we opted to use (free) Craigslist instead, so at least we didn't work all day just to pay for the ad!!! :P

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    4. Garage sales, they just aren't what they used to be!! That was very nice of you to help her out!!

      If it makes you feel any better I had a garage sale a few weeks ago and I made a whopping $3. I sat outside all day for $3. That's when I found the facebook group and now I am TOTALLY in love with it!!

      We have the pennysaver here too! $20 is so expensive for the ad though!

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  12. I have an idea about the white chair... get some bright paint in a few nice colors and have your kids put lots of cheerful handprints all over it on PURPOSE, it will add some color to "pop" in the room, and will make any accidental handprints unnoticeable! (Just a thought!) ;-)

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    1. Not a bad idea!! You're right, that would definitely give the room some "pop!"

      I'm thinking that because it is all white, maybe I can just bleach it every few months? I'm definitely keeping the painting idea in mind though, the kids would love that haha!

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  13. Hi Eden, It's Michele. I cant remember my password so I have to post anonymous. I just want to say way to go girl! Your room looks amazing! I am so happy to hear you were able to order the window too. I am appalled at the mean comments made by the trolls. I also worry that they may be more than that. I mean do you think they may be friends with your ex? I think I worry too much! lol By the way how is your non profit doing? Are you ready to take it public? And how did that meeting with your mom turn out? Just know that you and your sweet little ones are always in my prayers and as soon as I can I will be donating too. Thank you for the uplifting blog as I have been there too. I wish you only the best that life has to offer! Keep the faith, Eden. You are a winner!

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    1. Don't you hate having to remember all those passwords? I can never remember mine. I clear the cookies on my computer and it wipes all my passwords out and I have a mini heart attack haha.

      I don't think it's my ex's friends only because I've seen them and none of them seem like the computer type. Plus, if it were his friends and they were trying to get back at me, they would probably just spill the beans as to who I was. Although that would just REALLY prove that I'm not a fraud, so I guess they could be just here to annoy me, but I doubt it. I think it's probably just a few of the really grouchy XOJane commentors looking for people to hate on.

      As per all the other questions....look for the update's post soon! I'm thinking it will probably post roughly about a week - ten days from now :)

      Thank you for your prayers, we need as many as we can get these days!!

      *hugs*

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  14. Wow your room looks great! Much nicer and lighter/brighter, especially for the summer! It is so impressive how you don't have ANY clutter at all! Wow!

    (I am so envious... our room is a complete disaster... a "Tip", as my friend from UK calls it when there's a huge mess everywhere. Not sure where that expression really came from but I love it, yes, looks like we tipped the room over sideways and set it back up again, haha.)

    We have mismatched furniture in all colors|styles|finishes, and piles of books and magazines on the bedside tables (and overflowing onto the floor on both sides of the bed.)

    My husband has a crazy tilted wobbly hatrack (groaning under the weight?) with ties and hats draped all over it and hanging off it, and his cheap Target guy watches are all up in the windowsill "powering" from the sunshine. I've got earrings piled in little dishes and hanging from the lampshade (works great as a stand for the fishhook chandelier ones.)

    And we have these ugly old -but usable- book lamps clamped to the headboard... (plus the room is really small so there's no floor space, the furniture, small and old as it is, takes up like 90% of the room and we're wedged in there.) :(

    Lord, our room is a total wretched mess, now that I think about it! (And the closet door was so messed up we took it off, so now we can look at all the crammed-in multicolor junk called clothes and shoes all stuffed in there sticking out willy-nilly like a giant soft sculpture collage... squint and it could be "art", haha.)

    I don't envy you your situation (though in your shoes I'd save up money to have goons hunt your husband down and scare him into moving to Alaska!) but I totally envy you your house and streamlined lifestyle and total organization. All very clean and tranquil looking.

    (Well, ok, I admit I also envy your impressive fitness, slenderness, and grace. Would love to fit into a single digit size again myself... but, probably not in this lifetime! Yes, both me and the house are "overstuffed", haha.)

    Seriously, it's hard to know where to start, it's not like any of it is TRASH, it's just exploded all over the place (and we have a tiny old house with teeny closets, which does not help. I think people in the 50s only owned like six things.) ??

    You did a wonderful makeover job, and you have a lovely house! I guess part of getting things done is just putting your mind to it and making it happen. You decide to do something and you just march in and take it on.

    Someday I plan to take on things here... (and then I look around in horror and throw up my hands, haha.)

    At least I can wistfully regard your pics!

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    1. A tilt....I like that lol. How very true!

      Eh, my organizational skills are most likely just anxiety manifesting itself in a helpful way haha. Organized house, organized life, am I right? No? You mean it doesn't actually work that way? ;)

      I often joke that the only way God shows me that he loves me some days is to make me skinny (calm down people, it is just a joke). "Well you know what? I'm going to give her crazy parents, special needs kids, a loser ex, and no real career, but you know what, at least I'll make her skinny." ;)

      Grace? Who said I had grace lol! What is this grace that you speak of?

      I bet if you started with 20 minutes a day that in a couple of months you would be near done with whatever organizational goals you have set. Yet, if it never happens, so be it :) Sometimes the most chaotic of homes are the ones with the most fun and love spilling out of them :)

      So organization and single digits aren't your thing, oh well, I'm sure your beautiful sexy body is overflowing with many amazing qualities that outshine whatever pesky little one's you feel are lacking. :)

      Thank you for reading, I love reading the comments from everyone!!

      *hugs*

      P.S. did I use enough smiley faces? I'm feeling rather cheery tonight :)

      Delete
  15. I am really baffled. Of all the topics that are discussed on this blog, cat bathing and furniture make overs is what gets people excited. I wish my life was SOOOO complicated that that was all that got me excited/outraged.

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    1. Haha!! You are so right, I hadn't even realized that! I totally forgot that I had to delete like 50 comments off the cat post because it got so out of control. How funny is that lol

      Delete
  16. I think so many of the topics are dark and heavy and unsolvable for the most part that when something comes up that is light and is common ground (we all have bedrooms, right?) people respond.

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    1. Maybe! That's a good point of view! Like people feel wrong calling a rape bluff, but a room makeover, well hell hath no furry like that!

      Delete
  17. You had to convince Eden to put up a donate button? Isn't that sweet. She really didn't want your money but yet, she went ahead and put the donate button up because y'all talked her into it. Bless your hearts. I mean, if she solicited the funds from you, that would look bad, but since y'all did it out of the goodness of your hearts, she's got to be legit.

    Did Eden really have a broken window? Entirely possible. Was it caused by her ex as she claims, or maybe some kids playing baseball busted it when they hit the ball too far. Who knows?

    Did she do a room makeover and put some pictures up on her blog? Sure. Did she actually have to sell furniture and bedding (who pays $75 for USED bedding??) to pay for a window repair? Doubtful, but since she put pictures up from her makeover, it has to be legit, right?

    Listen. It's nice that there are kind hearted people out there who are so trusting and want to help people. There are a myriad of bloggers who scam people out of their money with their sob stories.

    You don't know this woman from Adam. You can't verify the veracity of any of her claims.

    She was supposed to go public with her non-profit, but hasn't yet? Is it possible she wants to ride the gravy train as long as possible, because she knows people will start to get suspicious at some point.

    Keep those donations coming, folks.

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    1. Thats why its called faith and good will towards men.

      If you don't have faith in Eden or feel any good will towards her, then simply click on the next blog and leave the rest of is to it.

      Clearly we are all here because we are getting some back that we all need and it really has nothing to do with you.

      So how's about you bugger off and leave us to the healing we are all working on.

      Delete
    2. Why does it bother you so much? Like really, why have you made it your personal mission to warn theworld and tell everyone what to do or not do with their money?

      And yes, people will pay $75 for bedding. Bedding sets can run upwards of $1000 dollars so $75 in great condition is a steal. Edens house is pristine, im sure her stuff is as well

      Delete
    3. Yup, I could absolutely be a scammer. I could be a creepy dude over here just getting started on my second box of donuts while waiting for my social security check to come and my meals on wheels.

      You guys!! THAT COULD TOTALLY BE ME!!!

      There. I warned everyone for you. Now you are free to relax and attend to some of your other hobbies.

      Delete
    4. Anon, you seem scarily obsessed with proving Eden wrong. Why the hate? Why not just let it go already? So what if she is a scam artist?* Do you know how many of them there are out there? Why focus on Eden?

      Clearly the readers here are getting something from this blog. We're finding that a lot of the carp we've dealt with in our lives was the same or similar to others. People are finding it healing to know that they weren't alone in dealing with it.

      If we as readers have enough faith in Eden and each other to come together and donate a few dollars, where's the harm? At the end of the day, doing a good deed for someone else makes a person feel good about themselves.

      Let it go already! Go obsess over more important things!

      *I do not think you're a scam artist, Eden.

      Delete
  18. Suppose she WAS just spinning yarns, as you accuse (I don't think she is, but what if she were?) Just consider she is selling a story and people are paying what they want to. That would be no different than the guitarist on the corner serenading the populace with his open case, you toss in whatever his song is worth to YOU. Totally your choice. People go to Barnes & Noble and pay $24.95 for a book. Others would be horrified spending that much and get their books at library sales for 50 cents. All something is worth is what somebody is willing to pay for it. And in this case, the saga is totally free, any money contributed is completely voluntary. I am absolutely NOT not saying Eden is a scam artist, and I doubt she is, but even if her blog were 100% false (which again I doubt it is) she would still not be a scam artist, but a storyteller. Because for one thing, this effort takes enough time, energy, and inspiration to write, that even if it were pure total fiction she would still be working very hard on it (definition of a scam artist is someone who gets something for nothing.That much effort and trouble and doublechecking not to contradict oneself, even IF one were writing total fantasy, is still not nothing by any means, even if she were really from Mars and is even making up being HUMAN, for pete's sake.) The laborer is worth of their hire, so if everybody is enjoying her roller coaster ride, they are paying what they choose and are getting something out of it that satisfies them, no matter if it is a cleverly designed fiction or the absolutely bald truth. Thing about truth, it's always subjective anyway. Her ex has a completely different truth. We're sharing hers, from her world. Not sure what world the trolls live in, but it's probably not nearly as nice as Eden's, even with all her travails. Most of them have a very jaundiced outlook in general. (Just imagine having nothing better to do with ones time than to comb the internet looking for blogs which strike one as dubious or fake, and then spewing malicious accusations. Think of the time spent, think of the venom and resentment being generated within the breast of the surly sulking troll as they nitpick another person's writing and analyze anything that strikes them as untrue or a scam.) And it appears that most everything anybody else thinks or says or does is false, to them.They view the world with that sort of sour outlook, and when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. (Just imagine what they could do with the New Testament. What a pack of total lies, right? As if a Supernatural Deity would pick some local planets native female and have a half breed. And then allow their offspring to be slaughtered by the ignorant savages who live there. Wow, troll alert! Hurry up and swarm right over THAT total myth right now! Attack it with your usual hateful zeal. --But after you do, be sure and DUCK, because that's the core premise of one of the largest religions in the U.S...) I think Eden is sharing entirely too much of her personal life to have everything presented be a scam, she is obviously not a 50 year old fat man living in mom's basement. I do think she probably edits and chooses, as anyone would, as much for caution and safety as for interest and appeal (she doesn't tell us what she has for breakfast and what time, she tells us when something unique happens.) Even the authors of autobiographies delete or adapt details out of privacy or delicacy (even Anne Frank's Diary was not published unedited, her family removed certain things that they felt weren't appropriate to share with the world.) Bottom line, if you don't feel drawn in or moved by her blog, just MOVE ON, peddle the malice and hate elsewhere. !!!

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    1. ((nods in agreement))

      It is amazing as you say, the time that these trolls spend on being malicious. What a sad life to know that the things they are heavily invested in make them so angry :(

      I really do feel bad for them because it simply is not normal.

      Delete
  19. Enough is enough... Eden, I think you should delete bad comments from now on.

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    1. Yea, this is getting out of control. I'm all for keeping the dialouge open and not turning this into a utopian blog, but some of the one's I've gotten today have been downright horrific. "You deserved to be raped" and many other one's just like it were deleted. Ugh, some people!

      Delete
    2. Oh wow. Didn't realize they were that bad. That's just disgusting. Who the hell says something like that? I'm subscribed to the post so I'm getting some but as soon as I see it's a troll post I stop reading.

      *hugs*

      Delete
    3. Oh yea, there was a bunch of really wierd ones!! I don't want to say them all here because that would defeat the purpose of deleting them, but they were totally wacked out nuts! Some were on past posts, but they came all at once.

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    4. Hi, I'm the same commenter as above. That's horrible!! Since they all came at once, I hope that those comments were just a temporary amusement for them and they will leave you alone. This blog should remain a community of support and caring.

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    5. If they all came at once, the odds are fairly good it's just one loser sitting at his computer and chomping away at the donuts while collecting social security and waiting for mommy to do his laundry (yes, I stole that from you, sorry!). The odds that several people are sending similar comments at once are pretty small.

      At least I hope they are...

      Delete
    6. Actually the solo donut eating loser with mommy's maid service is probably spending the entire day and night sitting there attacking one blog after the next...

      Eden is probably the one they go for from ten to eleven (they sleep in, in the mornings,) while eleven to twelve is scheduled for accusing of scam the brave handicapped paraplegic who is recovering from their stolen hand control equipped vehicle loss.

      From twelve to one they attack the nun who is "supposedly" working in Africa to fight River Blindness caused by the parasitic worm spread by the bites of black flies (while scarfing down the lunch mommy brings them, to keep their strength up.)

      From one to two they nap, then they suck down a Big Gulp to fuel up for their three to four attack, where they criticize elderly pensioners of "playing the system" by claiming to need larger quantities of additional healthcare support as they age.

      Next they sneer at battered wives in general and cast doubt on their need for shelters, then wind up by posting a blistering "expose" of rape counseling hotline nonprofits.

      If they aren't too tired from their long hours of "hard work" by then, they finish up by slamming the local church which is asking for donations to help rebuild homes in poor neighborhoods (after all, the church might just be skimming off that money given for the needy, and diverting it to frivolities like funding their coffeehouse for at-risk teens, or even squandering it on new carpet for the vestry.)

      Yes, this total loser troll has a busy schedule in their constant fight for their chosen cause of exposing all possible scams in the world (at least on the internet, since they have so little real life they don't ever interact with actual people...)

      And additionally saving themselves from total boredom in their days by their "quest" of scanning the internet for "fraud" (and wasting large quantities of time in such efforts) and thus avoiding the fact that they're really wasting their whole life in general by being completely lacking in having one (trolls don't typically have social lives or spouses or children or real jobs, usually. Which is part of why they're so suspicious of the problems and worries of those who do, it sounds foreign and untrustworthy to them.) !!!

      Just assume that all trolls are twins to your ex, and that they have just as skewed and warped an attitude and outlook, and just take anything they say as if they were him (he has zero credibility, right?)

      Just be happy that they are a relatively small percentage of the people out there, because they really are. They are the same folks who think the Holocaust was a fake, the Apollo moon landings were staged, the Challenger didn't really explode, 9-11 was done by the U.S. on purpose while the muslims were scapegoated, and that child vaccinations are bogus.

      So basically, any thinking person should not care in the least what they say or think or accuse, it is so clearly coming from a place of ignorance, warped logic, and overall unhappiness. (People who are whole and sane and functional do not waste their time combing blogs looking for dubious postings, much less make a career out of leaving malicious and suspicious commentary about their disbelief of a blogger or their blog contents.)

      Just enjoy the happier, appreciative, witty, and more thoughtful comments (even the constructive criticism ones which remain polite and don't attack) you get, and simply kill off the true troll remarks. (Or alternately, just ridicule them... many of your readers do that FOR you, after all!) !!!

      Delete
    7. Hahahaha. I love this "schedule" you've made for them. Well done, Anonymous! Definitely made me laugh, which I needed today. :)

      Delete
    8. HAHAHAHAHA oh my gosh, that schedule is HILARIOUS!!! I love the part about the big gulp! I laughed out loud through that entire read. Oh my gosh, that was great. It's also so funny because it really is most likely true!!!

      Yes, I agree, it is most likely one or two people leaving all the nasty comments. I'm also pretty sure most of the time they reply to themselves to look like more people. I now refer to them as "Irene's" based on that friendly little commentor we had for a while, who is still here yet posts as anonymous.

      I will never understand people who go out of their way to prove anyone and everything as wrong. Quite frankly. I dont think I want to understand them :(

      Yes, the comebacks you guys shoot off at them keep me quite entertained haha!

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  20. I will never understand, in a million years, how or why someone who refuses to get a roommate or house share because of a "stalking problem" (but then begs for mortgage money & spends it on alcohol and room decorations) routinely posts photos of her house, herself, her belongings, details of the events she attends, her children's ethnicities and medical problems, the places she takes her kids, and also allows random strangers in to her house to buy things they saw online. This is utterly baffling to me. These are the tendencies of a narcissistic, borderline personality individual, not someone who should be actively protecting her kids & keeping a low profile. Please get some help before it's too late.

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    1. Yes, like the comments below, you seem to be the one with the problem! As suggested, go find a different blog you do like and stop the troll attacks on Edens!

      Delete
    2. To the first Anonymous poster,

      I am a diagnostic psychiatrist and I've been following Eden's blog for quite a while. Now I have not met her in person, nor have you, so I am in no professional position to diagnose her or not diagnose her with anything, but based soley on what I have read (which is exactly what you are basing your diagnosis on), she is one of the most well adjusted people around. Her level of self awarness and introspection are light years ahead of the average person.The level at which she is able to self reflect is something that most people never attain, much less people with such a traumatic and confusing past.

      You call her narcissistic based off of what? A healthy sense of self esteem? The fact that she goes out of her way to tell all of her readers how important and beautiful that they are? That she tells everyone that they deserve respect? A narcissist would not be telling everyone that they were deserving of great things because they would be placing themselves above other people. She is telling everyone that they ALL deserve to know how amazing they are. Borderline Personality Disorder? Based off of what? She is not engaging in any reckless behaivor. She is not having wild and uncontrolled emotional problems. She is rightfully stressed and handling it in a manner that is significantly more appropriate than most people with half of her problems would be.

      This blog has been amazingly insightful for me in the ways that I deal with my patients. Often times I feel at a loss when dealing with patients who are going through situations that while I may clinically understand, I cannot emotionally grasp onto. Eden is helping so many people, her words are so far reaching, and here you are tearing down the healing of another human being.

      To be honest, it is you I am worried about. It really is not healthy to be so heavily invested in something that upsets you so greatly. Would you continue to go to a restaurant which served food you disliked? Would you make it a point to watch a weekly TV show that upset you? Would you subscribe to a magazine that irritated you?

      Then why do you read this blog so much?

      There is something inherently wrong when you continuosly subject yourself to things that swing your emotional balance towards the negative. You also seem to make many assumptions based on facts that you yourself have fabricated. "she invites strangers into her house to buy things they saw online." Did Eden say they came to her house? Could there be a meeting place of some sort? Could a male friend be handling the transactions? You are baffled, as you say, because you are making up parts of the story to fit your negative view.

      Eden is moving on with her life in the best and healthiest way that she can. She does not need to become a hermit as it seems you would wish her to be.

      Speaking as a mental health professional, I really am worried about you. The vigilante attitude, continuing to subject yourself to upsetting things, and your apparent self righteous behavior really are indicitive of a more serious problem.

      Please seek some help.

      Delete
    3. Wow, well it is pretty neat to know that I am not displaying any outright symptoms of a mental illness lol, other than the fact that I am weird as hell!

      Thank you for your professional defense of me :) It was much appreciated!

      Why is it that people make parts of my life up and then get made at me for them? No way am I letting strangers into my house to buy things. I never said that. I also never said that I bought alchohol. My house tends to be the "community center" for all my friends, friends which bring drinks and snacks every time they come, and yes, if it's in my fridge, there is a good chance I'm going to drink it lol! They know that and they don't care. That's part of the many, many, things that makes them good friends :)

      It is really weird to read the things that people hate you for and know that it isn't even based in truth, but oh well, "haters gonna hate."

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  21. She's not worried about threats from strangers (or, not any more than any of us is in general in 2014 in a reasonably nice neighborhood in America,) she's worried about specific threats from one individual. !!!

    Keeping a low profile or not isn't going to make any difference to the particular person targeting her. (I'd say "Duh!' here for emphasis but you might not understand that cultural reference, as you don't appear to recognize a normal life here.)

    Other than having him as a general and annoying menace, she is living (like back in history, when Britain under the Blitz kept a "stiff upper lip" and tried to live normally in spite of it) or trying to live, a basically average "normal" life. (At least for those of us in suburban America in this century, not sure you share that situation with us?)

    MOST of us are proud of our homes, kids, special events, possessions, and post on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, etc., and use Craigslist or have sales at our houses.

    And, most of us (not of a faith prohibiting it or members of AA) also buy alcohol (as well as milk, eggs, lettuce, orange juice, sliced bread, and other regular groceries which are part of a normal diet and lifestyle.)

    And as far as room decorations, it looks like she already had them to begin with and got a can of white spray paint (wow, a wild indulgence there) and changed their appearance.

    She does not seem to be pathological as you accuse, but rather trying to continue functioning as a regular average middle class neighborhood American and keep a predictable and secure lifestyle for her children, despite having married a dysfunctional dillweed and suffering his pathology.

    I'm not sure why cowering through the days and suffering in general (vs living normally) and letting it ruin her entire life overall, just because he's a jerk and is harassing her, would be actively protecting her kids from anything. (If anything it would perpetuate trauma and make them unnecessarily fearful, like her child hiding under a bed.)

    It is worrisome for YOUR outlook and state of being that you think it might be better for them if she lived as if under siege. (?!) She's trying to give them a regular childhood with a typical household situation where people enjoy life and are part of a 21st century social network and behave like they are part of society. (Why let him win and beat her down by adopting a bunker mentality? She has opted to rise above his threats and behave as if life were normal. And it IS, otherwise. He's the fly in her soup, but you want her to poison the whole bowl too?)

    So I would actually say, rather, that it would take a narcissistic borderline personality to be judging her as you have. (As the saying goes, why do you see the sawdust in their eye and fail to note the wooden plank in your own?)

    Your accusation of her supposedly having this disorder, when it appears (to the standards of most) that she is just an average person in her generation participating in regular life in typical 2014 fashion and trying to live a reasonable, normal way, is frightening.

    For now, instead of being nasty and accusing, you should just stop reading her blog entirely and go find one for your own peer group and background, as you are clearly not in her demographic.

    You can't change an entire generation (she is very typical of an average regular 30-something and nothing she is doing is abnormal or unusual.) She's taken advised precautions against a specific stalking threat and then is just acting like everybody else around her in her life. (Which she is allowed to, it might not be the exact same choices you would make, but she is living in the world she is in and behaving as part of it. You're the one who seems to have issues.)

    If you don't like her blog or life, just leave. Go away. Pick something else. Find a blog which has values and interests of which you approve. You'll be happier (and so will all the rest of us.) !!!

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    1. Very well written response, thank you :) I'm just doing the best I can to make as "normal" of a life as I can given the abnormal set of circumstances. It's good to see that other people see that as well :)

      Thank you!

      *hugs*

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  22. If you have nothing better to do with your day than tear down someone on their personal blog, THAT NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO READ, you may want to turn your reflections to your own life and learn more about why you act this way toward a fellow human being.

    And Eden, holy guacamole, I am SO PROUD OF YOU! Your room looks absolutely gorgeous. And you're so talented and crafty! Seriously, if you ever need it, you totally have a secondary career in interior design on a budget waiting for you! And I'd be the first in line for that :) I hope your new room brings you healing and peace. You deserve a sanctuary to unleash your inner goddess and just be you. Big hugs, dear- you're ROCKIN' it!

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    1. Thanks girly!! I got about halfway through and was like "THIS IS THE WORST IDEA EVER" but thankfully it pulled together at the end! It was a lot of fun, I'd love to do it for other people :)

      **BIG hugs!**

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  23. I think while fixing up your room you also hit upon a very good possible test for future dates/romantic interests.... yes, make them put together something from IKEA for you! (Sort of a combination of the standard Knight's quest and Tom Sawyer's fence painting idea, haha!) Extra points for speed/accuracy/lack of swearing, etc.... Well, just a thought there!

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    1. Funny you should mention that lol. Frisbee Boy's mom told me the same thing a few months ago; that the test of any good relationship is putting together Ikea furniture. Maybe it will become a new form of speed dating. "Ok, you two put together this chair. Now, did you get along well while doing it?"

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