In my post "When Everything Is Just Not Ok" I explained that in order to start gathering the money that I would need to pay for my daughter's broken window, a window that my ex shot, I had sold my bed and the chair in my bedroom.
I slept like that for ooooh...about a week before I realized how unhealthy that was going to be for my mental state. My daughter and I were sleeping on the floor because the man who was supposed to have taken care of us, was ruining us.
That is seriously depressing.
|Taking the bed apart for the new owners to pick up|
|Hello very empty room|
As I laid there on my mattress, on the floor, and looked around at my room, I realized how angry I was. I hate that room, always have. My ex was rarely home when he lived here and therefore not much of the house ever had his mark on it, but when he was home, when we were "together," it was most often in the bedroom. When my ex left, one of my best friends and I wasted no time in painting the walls; walls that I had spent years staring at as I lay in bed desperately trying to mentally escape the things that were happening to my body. Painting helped, but the furniture, the feel of the room, it never changed.
Still lying there on a stack of mattresses, I decided that this would not be another situation for him to get the better of me; this would be a situation that I would use to make life better FOR me.