Tuesday, March 17, 2015

To Answer All Your Burning Questions...

***Alrighty people, I'm finally putting the Answers post back up but unfortunately it is a highly edited version of the one that was up before. I have to say I am still really saddened by what went on last time I put it up. The fighting in the comments, the nasty emails, and the hack that happened at the same time. I wish that I could re-publish what I originally wrote, but I just don't feel like playing playground attendant in the comments section so for now this will have to do. For all of you who have already seen this post, in order to supplement everything I removed I added a few more answers to questions that I did not get to last time.***

Well wowzers.

As you know I opened up the floor to reader questions and offered to answer the questions that have been burning on your mind, and I have to say that the amount of questions that came in was intense! Not only did way more come in than I was expecting, but I was really surprised to see how many of you wanted to know the same exact things; things I would have never guessed you would want to know.

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Eden, why are you and your kids on that strange diet? Shouldn't you just be grateful for any food people donate to you, regardless of whether it fits your fad diet? Do you know that being gluten free really isn't any healthier? Why do you drink alcohol if you go out of your way to live a healthy lifestyle? 

Hands down, diet questions dominated my email inbox as well as the comment threads, so hopefully I can give you a little insight. The kids and I all have a rare genetic disorder and by rare, I mean rare as in like RARE. I'm choosing to keep the name of it private for two reasons; the first being that I don't feel it's my place to share medical information that my kids may choose to keep private when they are older, and the second being that because of the rarity of the disorder my kids and I are participating in a clinical research paper that may be published online. That means that if any of you google the disorder we have. you may find my medical records and I'm not cool with that. 

What I will tell you though is that the symptoms are kind of a cross between Celiac Disease and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. In fact for a long time those were the two diagnoses I held, but eventually due to some issues my daughter had when she was born, a large genetics panel was run on our blood and I was surprised to learn that we those diagnoses were wrong and we have a much rarer disorder.

Actually to this day if someone asks a relatively non important question about our health, I will still claim either of those diagnoses not in an effort to deceive, but because they are the closest disorders to what we have and the only disorders that people seem to be able to understand. It was actually my doctor's idea; "just tell them you have celiac or EDS" was the answer I was given when I asked how I was supposed to explain this to anyone. "At least they can google those and land somewhere near the mark.". Judge me all you want for that, but until you've been in my shoes you can't possibly imagine what it's like being one of maybe 2 other people (besides my kids) on the planet with this disorder.

Here is a snippet of the annual consult report with The Girl Child's geneticist.


"Originally diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome...but was distinctive from many others ...further testing revealed her to have...is rare and little is known about it...literature is devoid of information except two accounts."

I enlarged the last line so that you can see it:


But back to the original question, yes, the gluten free diet that we are on is the treatment for our disorder. Also, as I've learned over the last year and a half, The Boy Child can't process the casein (dairy) protein either.

But what happens if you or the kids eat gluten (or dairy) Eden? 

In the most basic of explanations, for us eating gluten causes widespread organ damage, damage to our connective tissues, cancer, hormonal imbalances, brain function issues, cardiac problems, etc. Surprisingly none of us get sick digestive wise, but it's the other more serious problems that are obviously a concern. Because we know that the kids and I have a genetic disorder that affects the way we process and filter food on a molecular level, I've chosen (with a doctors recommendation) to keep the kids food as clean/simple as possible which is why I feed them organically as well. We just don't know enough about the disorder and it seems ridiculous to take unnecessary risks. Yes, even organics contain some level of pesticide, but overall organic foods tend to be less processed and less modified from their original version.

And how are we doing with our health? We are doing great! I mean come on, this blog is where I do my venting, if we were all sickly and falling apart over here, you would probably know about it. The Girl Child and I have some pretty painful joint issues that does pose it's limitations, but now that "immediate death" is off the table, I can't really complain!

"But Eden, if you are such a healthy food freak, then why do you drink?"

Hum. Can I just be honest with you here? I spend my life living clean. I only use organic cleaners, organic soaps, I cook with clean ingredients in a clean kitchen  (no Teflon, plastic cookware, or saran wrap in this house!), I don't take any medications, I abstain from caffeine, hit the gym four times a week, and you know what?

Sometimes momma just wants a drink with her girls on a Friday night.

Sorry, she just does.

You have to remember that this blog is such a narrow glimpse of my life. I was telling Mr. Attorney Man the other day, "I think I look a lot more fun online. Online Eden is partying it up with her friends but in reality last night I worked until 1am, ate an entire box of (gluten free) crackers, and then went to bed in my clothes."  So while it looks like I'm drinking all.the.time, in reality it's a drink or two with a friend on the weekend and probably a glass of wine a week. It's pretty rare that I'll even have more than two drinks on a weekend night. Sure, it's happened not doubt, but it's definitely not the norm. Like the time I got totally drunk, at home, alone. I'll claim that one and that was definitely abnormal.

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Eden how are you able to date while being a single and financially strapped woman?

Creatively, that's how. As I said before I've been really blessed with friends that will watch my kids on a weekend night and a neighbor who won't let me pay her daughter more than $4 an hour to babysit. Still though, it's the actual date that can get expensive, isn't it!?

I just try and plan ahead.

Typically the guy will say "where should we go?" and then I'll throw out a few options that I know I can afford. For example the bowling alley near my house has $1 bowling from 8-10pm ("hey, want to go bowling at 8:00?"). A fairly nice restaurant down the street from me has baked potatoes the size of my head for $1.99, so I'll order that as a meal and it honestly doesn't look that crazy because the thing is huge. The comedy club that I'm a regular at has free entry with an email code and only requires a two drink minimum ($1 fountain drinks included). There's local festivals, local attractions, and tons of things to do around here that are free so in reality cheap dating isn't that hard.. The bar across the street from me even has karaoke night that is absolutely a riot to watch.

I'm fairly upfront with my financial situation so as not to mislead anyone and in my experience, while I never expect it (and always feel uncomfortable), if I tell my date that somewhere he wants to go is out of my budget, he is usually willing and eager to pick up the tab if it's some place he really wants to go.

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Eden, do you ever resent your kids because they are having a better childhood than you?

Nope! I would love nothing more than for them to have a childhood that people dream about, full of things that I never had. If I could give that to them I would be the happiest mommy on the face of the earth! If I resent anyone it's my ex for making it so much harder for me to provide that to them and my parents for making it so difficult for me to figure out what I should be doing.

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Eden how much do you make in ad revenue? What do you do with that money? Why do you run ads at all?

I think some of you might be under the mistaken impression that I pull in quite a bit of money from this blog, but that is not the case. I started with BlogHer over the summer and did alright the first month, but they changed a few things and I felt like it was no longer the right fit for this blog. They are a great company, have a great staff, I have nothing negative to say about them, it just wasn't the right fit for the blog. In December I switched to Google Adsense and have made to date a whopping $6.21. Go me! (seriously does anyone know how to improve on this because HELP). Adsense ads only pay you if they are clicked on and this isn't really the kind of blog where people would be interested in ads, you know?

Why do I run ads? Because I would be stupid not to. The ads don't interfere with my content and this blog does take up quite a bit of my time. In the financial situation I'm in I can't afford not to make a few dollars by placing a few ads on the side of the page. I've chosen not to place them within the posts and I've decided not to participate in vibrant ad campaigns because the blog content is more important to me than making a dollar. Yet if there can be a happy medium then I don't see a problem with that.

I haven't decided what I am going to do with my $6.21 yet... maybe get a couple gallons of gas?

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Eden are your eyes real?

I probably get that question at least 5 times a week and while I know that people are asking if I'm wearing contacts, it's funnier to reply to them with "you realize that you can't actually see out of prosthetic eyes, right?" and watch their face. I've had crazy blue eyes since I was born, my mother always told me that people called me "baby blue eyes" while I was an infant.


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Eden how did you do in school? Have you ever had an IQ test done? 

Ok, so this was just a little strange. I can't tell if this was one person with a bunch of email addresses or if I put off an air of not being too bright lol.

How did I do in school? I did alright, it really depended on if I tried, or even went at all. I pulled straight A's in middle school but then I barely went to any of my freshman year classes. In fact I missed so much that I had to retake every single class (including gym!) over the course of my next three years. I did alright in college, made the dean's list every semester, but then obviously never finished.

Have you ever had an IQ test done? (Where do you guys come up with this stuff?) Yes, I have had several IQ tests done. When I was in 1st grade I think the school thought I must be mentally challenged (probably because I did not say ONE word until third grade) so they made my parents take me somewhere to get my IQ tested. Ugh, I remember sitting at a table for several hours on several different days answering a never ending series of questions, listening to a bunch of situations that I had to dissect, decipher, and interpret, solve puzzles, do math, and it was really boring. 

My score came back in the 130 range, so yay, I didn't need to be moved to special ed. My IQ was tested again in middle school, high school, and once again in college for a scholarship. I consistently scored quite a bit higher on every test after the initial one in first grade (probably because in 1st grade I remember not even caring enough to really try), so technically I think I'm some kind of genius or something, but in all reality your IQ is only a measure of the capacity in which your brain can function, not how smart you are.

I'm not posting my IQ test scores on here, so you will have to make do with some kind of school testing I participated in.

"Your student scored 401. The school average was 278 and the district average was 269. The state average was 227. Your students score is represented by the diamond symbol."

So what have we learned here people?

That IQ scores, or even test scores, don't mean shit.

I mean seriously, look at my life. Does it seem like I've made a consecutive amount of great decisions? Do I have a fancy degree hanging on my wall? Am I over here bringing in the big bucks from my big brain? 

Nope.

Because smart is only smart if you use it right.

Hell, I have the navigational skills of a blind and limbless hamster and I think if I ask Mr. Attorney Man one more time what is considered a business expense tax deduction, that his head might actually explode.

Better luck next time Eden!

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Do you worry that your son doesn't have any positive male role models? 

Absolutely, all the time, and then even more than that. My children not having a strong male role model is 100% my biggest fear because I can do a lot of things to make up for an absent father, but becoming a man is not one of them. I just try and do the best I can! You can read about how terrified I am to raise a son right here.

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Eden Who Do You Admire? Any Celebrities?

I have to say I'm not much of a celebrity fan, not because I don't like any of them but simply because I don't have time to keep up with what is going on. I'm always so far behind on the times! I'll be like "Oh and that famous girl, she is married to what's his face, right?" and my friend will just roll her eyes and be all "Eden, that was three weddings ago and now she is married to a woman and has 8 kids." Ok...I did not know that... 

I am a Christian though so as cheesy as it sounds, if I had to pick someone that I look up to it would be Jesus. If I could have his patience and love for all of humanity, that would be awesome. As far as I know the last time I checked he hadn't married anyone new or fathered 8 children...so hopefully I'm at least up to date on that situation.

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What is your workout routine, when do you find the time, and do you use any supplements?

Oh man, I don't know how to explain this without posting pictures of all the exercises and stuff, so I will just briefly describe!

I have some joint and back issues because of my genetic condition, so on one hand I need to take it easy when I workout, but on the other hand it's important for me to maintain my strength so I alternate my workouts between cardio gym days and toning home workout days. I take it easy on everything! At the gym I warm-up with a low impact mile on the elliptical or ten minutes on the ARC trainer, followed by light free weight overhead tricep and bicep curls. After that I run on the track (or outside if it's nice). 

On toning home workout days I do five different kinds of crunchies to target different ab muscles (45 of each kind in sets of 15), then 45 sit-ups, 45 squats, 45 inner leg lifts (each side), 50 bridges for my ass, and 100 rear leg lifts, also for my bootie. I finish it off with a belly dance routine to two songs (don't laugh at me!) and that's it!

I also dance several times a week so that's fairly toning. My gym workouts are done at the YMCA while The Girl Child is there for her dance classes (we are very blessed to be on a scholarship membership for low income families) and the home workouts I do right before bed. The home workouts really take a lot of self discipline but it's important enough to me that even if it's 11:30pm I'm going to make myself do it.

As for supplements I don't do protein powder or anything because I eat enough protein, but I do take a multivitamin and I drink a fruit and veggie supplement every morning because I'm not real great about eating enough fruits and veggies.

I like Dynamic Greens because it's mostly organic and it's full of antioxidants and super foods such as acai, pomegranate, Goji, bilberry, raspberry, strawberry, blueberry, plum, grape seed, papaya, kiwi, noni juice, red wine extract, purple cabbage, red beet root, carrots, radish, Japanese cracked cell wall chorella, kale, parsley, alfalfa, kelp, broccoli, aloe vera, decaffeinated Green Tea, fiber, probiotics, and more. 

Each drink contains 25 servings of way more healthy crap than I could possibly eat in a day (or in my case, possibly a week).

This canister is larger than it appears

You just put a scoop in 8oz of water (use a blender bottle) and drink! I get it dirt cheap as part of a work-trade I have with my chiropractors office so I can't suggest a place to buy it from or even give you a price, but that should at least get you started!




The kids and I also eat a tablespoon of raw honey morning and night along with putting cinnamon on our breakfast's to bolster our immune systems.

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Eden would you ever date a younger guy?

If I met the right one! I'm typically attracted to older men (like uh...ten years older), I won't lie, so I haven't much thought of dating younger men actually. Also with me having two kids already I think I would be hard pressed to find a younger guy who would be willing to take on the three of us when there are so many women without kids available, but hey stranger things have happened! I won't say never!

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Eden can you tell us a bit more about your mother's childhood and the whole murder-suicide situation? What mental illnesses has she been diagnosed with?

My mother had a tough childhood, no doubt. I truly, truly, believe that she is the product of her past and while it would be great to delve into it along with her medical history and piece together how she became who she is, and why she treated me the way she did, it's not my place to share her business online. I don't like my mother, no doubt, but I have to respect the fact that her trauma's are just that; hers. While I do touch on topics about her past that are relevant to my life, I don't feel that it's my place to share the trauma's that belong to her.

I hope that doesn't sound like a harsh answer, it's in no way meant to be rude, I just can't share what's not mine to tell.

Sorry peoples!

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Alright, well I think that is just about enough for today!! 


33 comments:

  1. Thanks for answering my question about positive male role models! Might seem hard to believe given your situation, but there are good men out there; men that your son can look up to, and men who restore your faith in humanity, showing you the compassion that a man is capable of. Such men exist. I hope you find one.

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    1. Men are capable of a fierce/intense love, compassion and sacrifice and we will fight to the death for those we love. Dudes reading this will understand what I mean. Hopefully some of the ladies who have loving men in their lives will understand too.

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    2. Maybe one day I will meet one of those men!

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  2. Eden, you are lovely, strong, and a total badass. xoxoxox

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  3. Thanks for being brave enough to try this post again, Eden!

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  4. Awesome post, Eden. :)

    How many scoops do you get per container of that Dynamic Greens? And how may scoops do you put in each drink? Just curious. I've been wanting to look into getting some vitamin supplements and a Blender Bottle for a while now.

    Also, hello there fellow rare genetic disease person! Mine's not as rare as yours by any means, but it's pretty rare. And one of those invisible ones as well. But you don't look sick!

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    1. YES!!! "That's funny, and you don't look stupid." People are crazy sometimes.

      Just one scoop in 8 ounces of water! Each container lasts about a month. It's super easy and the taste isn't revolting. Before this one I tried a product called Greens First and it was foamy and green. No. Thank. You. This one is strawberry kiwi flavor which actually tastes like fruit punch. Can't say it's something I'd like to sip with lunch, but it's not terrible. The fact that it's red and not green does a lot for my psyche...

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    2. I'm the same way. Green drink? Blech. Red drink? Totally tolerable. I'm sure neither one tastes worse or better than the other. It's the color that matters!

      I've been doing a juice/smoothie thing for a while now. I wanted to get more greens in my diet but...greens. They're...greens. ew.

      I've got a juicer (kind of crappy, but it was $25 from Wal-Mart so who's complaining?) that I've been juicing 2 apples, 2 oranges, 1 large carrot (or several baby ones), and a stalk of celery.

      I was trying to make kale smoothies in our Nutri Bullet. Bunch of kale, some frozen strawberries, and half a banana. Add enough water to make it drinkable. But the consistency was too thick. And if I added more water, it was just gross.

      But then I decided to substitute the juice for the water. So all that juice into the blender, add a bunch of kale, some frozen strawberries, and half a banana. YUM! I put LOTS of juice in so the consistency is really liquidy, but I also get the kale that I need but can't stand the taste. It's worked out really well.

      Yes. People really are crazy. I wish we could build an island and ship them all to it.

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    3. My wife likes putting in spinach, berries, banana, pineapple, yogurt and ice into her smoothies. The blueberries give it a nice purple color and it tastes fine without adding sugary juice. She is crazy about smoothies. Myself, not so much lol

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    4. Wow you guys are much better than me, that's a lot of dedication. More than my "one scoop and shake it up" drink!

      I tried juicing for awhile but I just didn't see the time/cost/ratio benefit to it.

      So let me get your thoughts on this; I was juicing for a while, but it takes so much produce to even get a glass, I wasn't finding it cost effective. Plue it takes time and clean-up and I was just plain lazy about that. I asked my chiropractor who also does nutrition stuff and he said the powder was the way to go bc it has a full 25 servings of all the superfoods, way more than we could eat in a day. He said that bc the powder is like flash frozen veggies or whatever, that all the nutrients have been preserved and bc they have been seperated from the fiber, that they will be absorbed better. Also, the powder has probiotics and other added stuff that we don't get from fruits and veggies.

      I almost cried bc I was so happy I would never have to touch another green bean in my life.

      Now that being said, do you think it's too good to be true? I asked my family doc and she agreed with the chiro. What do you think?

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    5. Juicing can get VERY expensive. It's why I don't do it very often. I'm only able to do it when the local grocery store and or produce store has a sale. Recently I was able to get enough produce to make enough juice to last me about a week. And that was me being conservative with it. But after the week was over, all that produce was going to easily cost two or three times that.

      I think this powder thing is the way to go. I need to do a bit of research. I stopped at our local GNC place just to look around. They had this "GNC SuperFoods Supreme" powder that I decided to try. According to the label, "SuperFoods Supreme is a convenient, delicious blend of essential nutrients derived from some of nature's most beneficial super foods! This powerful formula blends ingredients that together provide more antioxidant capacity than 13 standard servings of fruits and vegetables. With an assortment of ingredients and important nutrients derived from more than 70 of the best super foods nature has to offer, each serving of SuperFoods Supreme can help you fill your nutritional gaps and support good health. SuperFoods Supreme gives you a hearty helping of key phytonutrients in every easy-to-mix, great-tasting serving."

      It's $49.99 per bottle and the bottle is just over 14oz. But I somehow got crazy lucky and the store was having a buy one, get one half off sale. And the bottles were already half off. So what would have been $100 for 2 bottles ended up costing me something like $37. SCORE.

      I only tried it yesterday so I don't know how good (health wise) it is. The taste isn't too bad. I'm really hoping it's good enough to help me supplement my fruit and veggie intake because I do not get nearly enough of them in my daily diet.

      I'll have to talk to my doctor next time I see her to ask her what she thinks.

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    6. For a long time I kept thinking "the powder probably isn't good enough, I'll start eating more veggies," and then one day I got to the point where I was like "girl, the powder is better than all the procrastinating you are doing!" I would like to think it's as healthy as they claim it is, but at this point anything is better than the nothing I was getting!

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  5. I never did get to see the first post :( but thank you for posting it again. Out of curiosity did you answer different questions this time?

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    1. My understanding of her first paragraph is that she removed some of the questions she had previously answered and then added different ones in

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    2. Yep! I took out some questions that I had answered and added in a few new ones.

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  6. Good to see that the page answering reader questions has returned. I am sure that there are still many people who would like to ask questions...perhaps make it a regular topic every few weeks where you answer questions?

    Hopefully there will not be so many trolls this time!

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  7. Hello Eden, I just wanted to say thank you as I have never commented before but I stumbled upon your blog in the summer time just after I broke up with my crazy drug addict ex (our son was two months old). I'm writing fom BC in canada. Reading your experiences helped me a lot! I didn't have a chance to read for quite a while so I've just been catching up. Since then I have gotten our lives ( my baby and I) into a much better place, luckily I have a lot of support from my family. I can relate to a lot of things you write about and I have been enjoying reading about some of your dating life because I have not had that opportunity yet since my son is so young. Anyways I think you are brave and strong and thanks again for putting it out there :)

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    1. Well welcome to the comments section!!

      I'm glad you found your way here :) I am SO proud of you!! It is HARD to be a mommy to a newborn and starting a new life, GO YOU!! I'm also really happy that you have a supportive family, that makes such a difference and I'm glad they have been able to help you out. :)

      I have a few dating posts coming up, so keep watching!

      Thank you for your kind words and I am really happy you are here.

      *hugs*

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  8. Glad you put these up again, Eden!

    Also, about IQ tests - I think it's difficult to determine how smart you are when you're that young, because we all develop at different levels. I've taken several over the years, even scoring in the 130s in some areas, but the most recent one I took (at a very low point in my life) my total score had sunk eight points. Despite the fact that I'd been consistently above average in everything, my mother IN HIGH SCHOOL had them place me in a special ed class (and that's just the beginning of the story.) I remember one of the teachers saying "Nobody gets why you're in here." It was a pretty crazy thing when I got old enough to realize that I'd been made to believe I was stupider than I really was.

    That is crazy how rare your disorder is - and I get why you haven't really shared all the details on it if it's that rare. But I think a lot of people have asked about that to know more about the scientific part (well, the ones who aren't trolls being annoying.) I've actually known at least two other people to have Ehlers-Danlos, so I think I have somewhat of an idea - the hyper-flexibility is the thing I remember about it. And I didn't realize your Boy Child had it too! Some crazy genetics you guys have.

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    1. My point being, my IQ didn't "sink", I just didn't give a shit about the test. I was a 16 year old kid who wanted a prescription for Adderall, obviously this isn't the most reliable indicator of my intelligence.

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    2. Yea I've heard they can fluctuate a bit, especially if you take different versions of the test. I remember not trying for the first one, but then the last few over the years I put in a bit more effort. Those all came out about the same, varied a few points but that's expected :)

      That's crazy that your mom put you in special ed!! Yikes!

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  9. Also...how much money do you get per click from AdSense when someone clicks the ads on your blogs?

    brb clicking these ads 100 times a day lol

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    1. Hahaha!! I have absolutely no idea. I'm thinking it must not be much!! (I think it varies from ad to ad, but what that amount is I have no idea).

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    2. Well I just clicked on the ads a few times, see how much you get over the coming days

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    3. Wow, you guys must all be clicking on the ads bc I just looked and my account jumped $39 in like a week, and before that it was $6 in three months!

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  10. So you're saying I have a chance! 😃 I'm 45. Come on down to Tennessee. Haha I don't ever click on ads but now that I've read this I'll be sure to do that for you now.

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  11. Money might be in writing one or more books. And possibly in recording podcasts or online videos or some sort of radio show. You write well, and I won't nit-pick the occasional typo. That's what editors are for. You say you have striking eyes (I'll take your word for it). You have a lot of personality. How's your speaking voice? And, your pain and tribulations and courage and persistence are inspiring. You have much wisdom to share, and you set great examples that others could follow. Some media company out there ought to appreciate all of your qualities and have ideas about how you and they could jointly profit. Good luck!

    P.S., I'm not so sure about the younger man thing. You don't need another child! Though there are exceptions. But, at whatever age, there are at least a few good guys out there. I hope you find one (or more) of them!

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    1. Thank you Brian, those are all great ideas! I may already have a few of those things in the works, but I guess you will just all have to wait and see ;)

      Thank you for all of your compliments!! Oh and I LOL'ed about the younger man-child!

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  12. Thanks for the special diet explanation and the comments about why you do drink alcohol. I'm the same way. When I tell people no, I can't eat gluten, then I get "the speech" like you did! And I agree about the alcohol. I hate having to be so extremely careful about everything I eat or am around, and somehow I have to have some fun!

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    1. "The Speech" lol. Ugh!

      Yes, we deserve some fun too!!!

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