Thursday, April 30, 2015

The Life That Is Lived Here

I live on the edge of nowhere.

From my property line

Not the middle of nowhere mind you, just the edge of nowhere. If you turn out of my neighborhood and go to the left, you are ten minutes away from a very large town and not far from the city. Everything you could need is no more than a quick drive up the road, but if you turn out of my neighborhood and go to the right, you are venturing into farmville and not much more.

I absolutely love it.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

I Don't Recommend Getting A Tongue Tattoo

Was it just me or was April insanely busy?

Aside from the daily grind of work/dance/school/daycare/, we also spent several weekends in a row at Easter festivals. I say Easter festival and not egg hunt because these days you go for the hunt but then you stay for the games. I really don't remember having anything like this when I was younger, but now it seems like every egg hunt has bounce houses, rides, games, prizes, face painting, and food, and the best part is that they are all free!

 Platonic Husband's real hubby

So yes, we did many of them.

The Platonic Husband, her family, and I were there to see The Girl Child find the golden egg at one hunt, meaning she got a crappy prize, which at 6yrs old pretty much feels like you have won the lottery.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Well That's About As Natural As A Cheeto

Yesterday The Boy Child managed to knock a full bowl of pasta sauce off the table and onto the floor.

I cannot even describe what this looked like and of all the things I take pictures of, I can't believe I didn't even snap one of this. Actually, I guess I can believe it, seeing as how I was using every ounce of my willpower to retain my sweet mommy voice and not let out the voice that was actually screaming in my head.

She sounded like a real bitch.

Monday, April 20, 2015

I Didn't Even See It Coming

Two days after a catastrophic break-up with my boyfriend of two years, I wandered into a pet store looking to purchase a larger cage for the bunny my now ex-boyfriend had bought me for my birthday.

I asked to speak with the manager, telling the store employee that I was in need of a larger cage and that I expected them to deduct the price of the smaller cage I had already purchased, a cage that I had been talked into buying only a month before, a cage that the employee should have known would be way too small.

The manager came out, I argued my case, he offered me a job, and then I asked him out on a date.

It was the chance meeting of a lifetime, the chance meeting that changed my lifetime.

It was an explosive combination of a girl with daddy issues and a guy with an affinity for underage girls.

It was the night I met my ex.

On our first date he asked if our age difference bothered me, if I was ok with the fact that when I had been in fifth grade, he was already in his second year of college. He wanted to know if I was ok that now, being barely out of high school, he had been living in his own apartment for 8 years.

I thought about what he said, but only momentarily because he was quick to tell me how much he admired me. To tell me that he knew I had lived so much in my short lifetime that I had the maturity it took to be with someone nearly a decade older than myself.

He told me that he knew I was mature enough to handle all of this. 

I, being too young to see what was going on, felt very "adult-like" under the praises he was bestowing upon me. I thought that maybe for the first time, someone really saw me.

I look back now and realize I was being groomed.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Is It Time To End This Thing?

And now I bring you Part 2 of "Eden's Unprofessional Dating Advice."

(Seriously, I get a lot of emails asking dating advice, which I think is kind of funny because hello, look at my life, yet you all seem to trust me anyways)


One of the most common questions that I get asked falls along the lines of "should I breakup with my partner?"

It sucks, being in that undecided place where you want things to work out but you aren't sure they will. Where your heart and your brain are fighting a battle and the brain knows it's not right, but the heart doesn't care because unlike the brain, the heart hurts. 

Should you break up with them? I don't know.

I guess when you boil it down the real question becomes "is this relationship helping me or hurting me?"

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Essential Items For Tornado Preparedness (Or How To Have A BBQ Under Your House)

Below are a few pics I snapped on my phone last spring.

When you live near farmland like I do, you tend to get hit with more severe weather than other areas might.

Not only can you get caught in the deadly situation of driving for miles upon miles with no place to seek shelter, but just the simple fact that the wind itself travels unobstructed for miles before it slams directly into your neighborhood is dangerous enough. Where I live has been known to have some pretty intense tornadoes and because of that, most people around here take the threat of storms pretty seriously.

Friday, April 10, 2015

The Perfect Victim

Did you know that according to Popular Science, roughly 5% of women who are raped experience an orgasm during the assault? And that’s actually a pretty low statistic because I’ve read other studies that that statistic at a much higher percentage.

I personally know for a fact that it does happen simply because I've worked with some very confused women in my groups that have suffered through that experience. These women have had a really difficult time being able to deal with the trauma of their assault, due to the confusion that comes along with experiencing what is usually perceived to be a pleasurable thing during such a traumatic experience.

These women typically take longer to move past their trauma because they are even more unsure of the roll they played in the situation than the women that didn’t orgasm. Even in the most violent of attacks, the cases that 99% of society would call a "clear cut rape case," if that women experienced an orgasm during the attack there is a high probability that she will carry more shame about the attack than if she didn't orgasm and the rape was less clearly defined.

That right there is incredibly sad because studies have proven that an orgasm during rape is due to the brain confusing the adrenaline rush of fear with the adrenaline rush of pleasure, and when you add in the fact that there is manual nerve stimulation taking place, sometimes the body just does what it’s designed to do regardless of what we want it to do.

So if a woman has an orgasm during a rape event, does that make her any less of a victim? Does that make her trauma any less real?

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

What The Hell?


Moms, do I really need to say anything else?

They really are a different breed aren't they? I give my daughter a toy and she's all "this is great! Show me how it works!" and I give the same toy to my son and he's all "this is great, whatever it is and whatever it does, but what else can I do with it and more importantly, how can I take it apart?"

Boys are just... different.

Aside from all the times he wants to show me his muscles:

Friday, April 3, 2015

A Different Kind Of Post

The post that you are about to read is different. 

I know, a new blog design and a different kind of post all in one week!


Promise, this is a one time thing.

This post, it's definitely unlike anything I've posted on here before and something that I thought long and hard about before posting here at all. As most of you know, I'm the founder of a nonprofit in my area. When starting any nonprofit, one of the biggest tasks is integrating yourself into the community and letting people know that you are here. When our organization first started out I was asked to come speak to a woman's bible study and let them know what we were doing. We are are not a religious group but I myself am a Christian and I thought it would be a neat opportunity to share a little bit about how I felt God was working in my life, so I jumped at the chance.

I went, I spoke, and before I knew it I was receiving invitations from other churches of all denominations to come and share my story in front of their congregations as well, and so I did, over, and over again.

Today I would like to share that story with you.

Now as I said, I thought long and hard about whether or not to post this here. While I take a pretty strong stance on many subjects in this blog, I've avoided any heavy religious posts because I want everyone to feel welcome here, regardless of their religious or non religious preferences, and the last thing I want to do is to start a religious based riot.

You know those super loud Bible beating Christians who not only try to forcefully convert people, but who also think that everyone who doesn't fit into a tiny little box labeled "Christianity" is going to hell?

Yea I'm not one of those people. 

Not even close.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Breaking News:

Breaking News:

Eden is a serial dater.

This message has been brought to you by blogland.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.



Hey! Have you guys heard the news? I'm a serial dater. Yup. So says a lot of people apparently. I'm cool with it though, because it's probably actually true.