Wednesday, May 18, 2016

It's That Time Again, Welcome To "Conversations I Didn't Think I Would Be Having This Week!"


I don't know about you, but I'm just not really sure if I even know what "normal" is anymore. I think it used to be some kind of goal that I was striving for, but at some point I gave up and settled comfortably into this:

Monday:

I was getting ready for work and out of the corner of my eye, I caught site of The Girl Child staring at me.

Me: "What?"

Her: "Are you sad that you only have like 30 more years of living left?"

Me: Stares at her in what must have been a shocked and somewhat annoyed looking expression.

Her: "What? I didn't say I was happy about it either."

Tuesday:

The route that we take to get to daycare has us go over a bridge and through an intersection. At the intersection the north/south street has a stop sign on either side, and the east/west street (the bridge) does not. So if you are coming off or going onto the bridge you don't have to stop, but if you are driving on the cross street you do.

Until now.

On the way to daycare we noticed a big flashing sign alerting us to the fact that next week the intersection was going to become a four way stop. Now I'm not one to rant and rave about other drivers while I'm in the car, but what I will admit to doing is constantly commenting on the traffic patterns and why the city is doing everything wrong.

I mean really, the city should have consulted me about half of their road designs because their ideas suck and mine are much better.

But anyway, today I didn't even get a chance to throw in my two cents because from the back seat I heard The Girl Child say "well that is just absolutely ridiculous. So now what, traffic is going to back up all the way over the bridge? That seems really unsafe to be stuck on a steep bridge when there will be ice on it, especially with the train tracks right at the end of it. Who came up with this genius plan?"

Sarcastic perfection based on a very valid point!

I have done my job well.


Wednesday:

Once again, the Chiropractor that I work with makes it into the blog with this fun little conversation that innocently started with the two of us talking about some work my car needed done, but then morphed into this....

I'm the orange blurbs




Grammar. I knows it.

Thursday:

The Boy Child got an invitation to a birthday party, but his name was misspelled with a random letter "E" at the end of it. Bringing it over to me and excitedly pointing to his misspelled name, he said "Momma, that's almost my name!"

Me: That was supposed to be your name buddy, it just got spelled wrong. But you are right, it's very close to being your name!

Him: He looks at me suspiciously, then looks at the card, and then looks back at me before saying "That is not my name. That says Walmart."

Well OK then.

Last I checked, your name only shared one common letter with Walmart's name, BUT WHAT DO I KNOW.

Friday:

They didn't have a valet...




Saturday:

I really don't know why anyone goes out with me. Would you take me on a first date after you had this little get-to-know-you conversation with me?

I'm the peach blurb



Sunday:

Nothing like a little text conversation with Frisbee Boy's Mom (aka my surrogate mother). 

I'm the peach blurb




And well, yep, that about sums it up.

OK, well I'm off to court AGAIN. Wish me luck! I'm actually not worried. I don't think it will be that bad and sometimes I even get to snuggle with strangers.

Oh wait. 

Yea I wasn't a fan of that.

I'm going to do my best to avoid that.

Have a great day and I'll report back soon.



***********************
If You Liked This, Check Out The Rest Of The "Conversations I Didn't Think I Would Be Having" Series By Clicking Here

(You might need to scroll past this post since it will come up first on the list)

13 comments:

  1. You are so funny!! Those soups are staples in a Jamaican house! The cock soup (Iam turning red by just typing that)has a stronger flavour than the regular soup. It's very good!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HAHAHA! Oh gosh, I don't know if I could keep a straight face eating that. I'd have all kinds of 6th grade jokes coming out of my mouth!

      Delete
  2. I used to tell older people that they're probably gonna die sooner than me when I was a kid. I thought it's just basic math! :D Kids can be so weird, but at least they have an excuse! Anyways, this was fun and good luck at court. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Yea, we probably all did that, so we probably deserve what we get now!!

      Delete
  3. Haha! Love these! Good luck in court! You seem surprisingly not anxious about it :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's really amazing how smart and funny both your kids are. Clearly you're agreat mom. We can always use more people who can properly use sarcasm.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, or maybe I'm a terrible mom and humor and sarcasm are just their means of survival!

      Delete
  5. This is hilarious!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Frisbee Boys MomMay 19, 2016 at 6:14 AM

    LOVE the Girl Child's comment about the traffic pattern!!! Classic!
    So, making plans with me for dinner in Brooklyn any time soon ?? :-D
    XOXOX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I'll leave the Brooklyn dining up to you my dear!

      Delete
  7. "Who came up with this genius plan?"
    Haha! Love it. The Girl Child is hilarious.

    I just had a conversation with a kid on Monday who, after finding out I'm "super old" because I'm in my 30s, said to me, "Wow. You're going to die soon. Are you scared?

    Good luck in court. Can't believe they're still doing this. Courts are ridiculous.

    ReplyDelete