Like this for example
I mean... really? REALLY? Because when I see this toilet, I see two things in your future: A divorce, or a codependency diagnosis.
Seriously, don't get your wife a double toilet, get her the most romantic card that you can find, like this one that I saw on sale last Valentine's Day:
I really just have one issue with this card: Everyone knows that "shiv" is a noun and the verb should have been "to shank."
Don't get me this card mkay? The grammar would kill me.
I'm just sayin', if you're going to sell something, use your words to come up with the best sales pitch that you can think of, like this person that I saw selling a basket on a local sales site:
He's right. With all those possibilities, how could you not want to buy his ginormous basket?
And if he hasn't sold you, or the price was too high ($999 was a bit steep), maybe this lady will because her sales pitch, if anything else, is unique.
You had better hurry, there's only seven nasty ass drinks left!
But don't worry, if you happen to miss out on the free drinks, I have something that will still brighten your day! Do you hate washing dishes?