Tuesday, November 28, 2017

What The Hell Do People Think Of Me?

Have you guys heard of Wish.com? I promise this isn't a sponsored post or anything, it's just that lately their ads seem to be infiltrating my Facebook news feed. And what I really don't understand, is why, in an era where ads are usually targeted to a specific audience, does Wish.com think that I want to buy a bunch of... I really don't even know what to call it.

It also worries me a bit that whatever I'm doing on my phone, has led Wish to think that I am the kind of person who would need any of this stuff...

Like this for example:


What is this? Some kind of leg brace you wear to go clubbing? Complete with ventilation hole for your fat, that makes you look like you have a giant blister in need of medical attention? Do I dress like this and was just unaware?

Or what about this?


I didn't even know what that was, so I googled it. It is not a weight for your toes, it's bells, for your shoes. What would you even need these  for?? So a blind family member can find you in a crowd?? So you can partake in some type of toe tapping folk band? Who knows, but apparently it is something Wish thought I might like.

Just like they also thought that I might want to take a chicken for a walk.


You know... if I owned a chicken.

Here's two more things that Wish thought I might like.



Get your mind out of the gutter, it's dog underwear.

Yep, had to look that up too. Unfortunately, I don't need this either, seeing as how I don't have a dog. I do have a husband, but he said he also wouldn't wear them.

Sorry Wish.

He also says he wouldn't wear this:


We aren't sure what it is, or why it's appearing on my news feed, but neither of us will be buying it anytime soon... or anytime after that.

I also have no clue what this next item is, but Wish has spammed my news feed with it multiple times:


And the same goes for this:


Seriously what on earth are those? Who walks around with twelve... electrodes??... in their ears? And clicking on it doesn't even give you an item description, so that's no help.

This keeps popping up too:


I legit can't even figure out what it is. An inflatable, lighted... igloo? I tried to google it, but came up with nothing.

Wish also seems to think I need this:


Yep, nope. Know what it is, still don't want it.

Same goes for this:


(Not to judge anyone with collapsing nostrils)

Or this:


I mean I'm no genius, but I'm pretty sure that car seat is not secured correctly.

Now this isn't the worst idea in the world, but I'm not sure that I have room for an inflatable outdoor pool, that you are apparently supposed to use inside.


Just like I don't have room for a backyard bubble.

Although it is kind of neat, and for $1000, it can be all yours.

Do you know what else can be all yours? My pregnancy experience.

Here, want to buy a fake belly? Because Wish sells one.


And I'm sure that belly picture right there is going to make all my little Troll fans yell "I knew it! She is a liar! That Eden isn't even pregnant, because clearly she googled 'fake belly' and now her targeted ads are proving it!" but I can assure you, I am pregnant, and I did not google anything about faking a pregnancy, just like I never googled anything in relation to neon toilet seat covers.


I really do not know who would buy any of this strange stuff, but if it's you, I won't judge. 

However, I do want to know if you will make me the blanket featured in an ad for the world's largest ball of yarn.


Anyone? Anyone? 

I can give you my PO Box address.

21 comments:

  1. I have actually bought a lot of things from Wish.com, through their app. Nothing like what you've found, but jewelry, fingerless gloves, hair clips and headbands, and more. It is based in China, so takes weeks/months to arrive, but is way cheaper than buying here. Wow, though, I hadn't seen most of what you posted!! Too funny!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So you get the normal stuff advertised to you, and I get this weird crap lol.

      Not sure what it says about me... !!! Haha!

      Delete
  2. I laughed so hard I cried!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Having similar problems down in South Africa!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bwahahahahaha! Excuse me while I wipe my eyes.....bwahahahahaha! Dang, but you have amazing luck 不不不不不

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow! Some interesting stuff there

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yup! One of the items in my own feed that I COULD identify was an acrylic speculum ... because a girl can never have enough of those.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Why would you buy it, when you can't even identify it??? Although when I was looking at those, before I got to that part of the story, I thought, "These must be Asian products. These make absolutely no sense."

    ReplyDelete
  8. Right? That stuff is insane!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Holy shit... I had the speculum too. I mean.... unless you're a gyno, why do you need one? I don't really want to know... just sayin... 丐

    ReplyDelete
  10. Guuurl... we must have the same internet history or something. Pretty sure each of these (except the doggy undies and penis pump or whatever that was!!!) have showed up on my FB feed too along with a few other creepy sex toys that I also had to google. And I also have no idea why... unless my hubby has been using my phone. Lets pray it wasn't the 9 year old!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I think the penis gadget is for hiding your penis. Not sure why you would want to do that, but at least I can figure that out. The silver thing...Maybe it's a EMF reducer? And yeah, the ear electrodes have me totally stumped. I guess maybe it makes your poop smell better or something. The one that really gets me is the thigh blister. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  12. I saw the Silver thing on a TV Show "Two Broke Girls". It is a Personal portable Sauna!!!!!! I guess it takes water and makes inside all steam and you can use it at home while enjoying your fav wine and reading last years Vogue Magazine. HAHAHA But all of these are just too funny. PS I think it is a penis enhancer the way it hangs down lmao.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, no way!!! I guess I can kind of see that. That't hysterical lol !!!

      You know I thought penis enhancer as well, but then why does it tie around his waist? I can't figure it out!!

      Delete
  13. I love Wish! It does have bizarre products and ads though lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, if anything, it sure is good for entertainment value!!

      Delete
  14. (I think) the little electrode thingies are for DIY acupuncture. I think...

    What the heck are the thigh pincher and penis leash for, though?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Interesting... I guess that would make sense(ish) !

      I have absolutely no freaking clue. None.

      Delete