tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post469321662914633375..comments2023-05-31T10:46:19.766-05:00Comments on It Is Not My Shame to Bear: I Need Some Advice!NotMyShametoBearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-52564411166954242832015-02-16T08:59:17.091-06:002015-02-16T08:59:17.091-06:00Oh it's definitely not just me, it's a hug...Oh it's definitely not just me, it's a huge problem. So bad they lost their government funding for their domestic abuse program because of it.NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-42402434348957918712015-02-16T08:58:35.227-06:002015-02-16T08:58:35.227-06:00Yep. Well if you remember back from the post "...Yep. Well if you remember back from the post "well that was an interesting turn of events" in August I had already told him some of my past, so I just filled him in with a few more details.NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-61154892524635924342015-02-15T22:40:27.190-06:002015-02-15T22:40:27.190-06:00You told the detective your whole story?You told the detective your whole story?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-69292825990794048672015-02-15T22:37:41.977-06:002015-02-15T22:37:41.977-06:00That is suspicious. Is your police department just...That is suspicious. Is your police department just really corrupt or do they have something against you personally?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-44508321144140438912015-02-15T22:33:13.917-06:002015-02-15T22:33:13.917-06:00That's a good idea!!
I'm so sorry that...That's a good idea!!<br /><br />I'm so sorry that's what you might have to resort to though :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-87340784334269066502015-02-13T20:42:20.673-06:002015-02-13T20:42:20.673-06:00I did get a camera, it streamed through wi-fi, but...I did get a camera, it streamed through wi-fi, but I couldn't afford to keep my internet so there goes that option! <br /><br />**have you guys seen any affordable cameras that don't require an internet connection?** Everyone I talked to said if it doesn't stream/record via the internet it's not worth the price. ??<br /><br />Yea no ambulance was called. I do remember being asked to go to the hopsital so maybe they would have called an ambulance then? They did a lot of things wrong. There are laws in place saying that certain things have to be done such as offering a rape advocate, providing verbal and written information on the services available, etc, and I know that was never done bc that's why I was talking to the social worker. That and bc the officers were totally innappropriate. The police around here are just awful!<br /><br />Thank you :) NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-70739441446464341652015-02-13T20:32:21.133-06:002015-02-13T20:32:21.133-06:00Do you have any other options, such as a police of...Do you have any other options, such as a police officer friend? Did you ever install cameras around your house? Have you ever had an ambulance or firefighters come to your house? I am a little baffled that the police came to your house the night you were raped instead of an ambulance. Ambulance workers are trained to handle trauma sensitively, and take care of health first of all before any interrogation happens. If (god forbid) an assault happens again, I strongly recommend that you have an ambulance come. Healthcare workers are neutral, you will get treated for injuries and have some space before seeing the police, and it will add some weight to your report after. I'm not sure, and you would know better than me, but rape kits must be voluntary if completing one is invasive. I'm sorry the police suck so much. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-16446079967976319272015-02-13T12:58:10.283-06:002015-02-13T12:58:10.283-06:00Noted.Noted.NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-23601425332364329022015-02-13T12:57:52.438-06:002015-02-13T12:57:52.438-06:00Maybe I'll just get the report and mail it to ...Maybe I'll just get the report and mail it to him. I'll just stick a post it on it saying "read this and tell me if I should read it!" He reads this blog, he will know what I'm doing lol.<br /><br />I actually broke my rule of not reaching out to ex's and ran the whole thing by the detective. He didn't have any sound advice :(<br /><br />*hugs*NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-36604312829973787382015-02-13T12:56:22.402-06:002015-02-13T12:56:22.402-06:00That's pretty much exactly like a post I wrote...That's pretty much exactly like a post I wrote a few months ago. Gee, nothing like having your own advice pretty much served right back to you lol. So what are you going to do!?<br /><br />I love my readers :)NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-69679025446936703032015-02-13T07:11:43.048-06:002015-02-13T07:11:43.048-06:00Dying is bad, yes. :( Let's not, Mmmmmkay?Dying is bad, yes. :( Let's not, Mmmmmkay?Eatabagofrichardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08049463741637011276noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-74375211109728208552015-02-12T22:00:39.586-06:002015-02-12T22:00:39.586-06:00Sorry this is stressing you out right now. From t...Sorry this is stressing you out right now. From the other comments here, it sounds like your situation with indistinct memories of your rape is not uncommon. I agree with those who have suggested having Mr. Attorney Man read the report first. I know you feel guilty about asking him for additional help, but this is something you are asking him to do as a friend, not as your lawyer. Another prospect is your former boyfriend, the detective. <br /><br />As usual, MzFuzz is a fount of wisdom - meaning, I agree with her ;)<br /><br />All the usual hugs, plus a few extra ones for good measure.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09374160089747590558noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-61284048634120492832015-02-12T21:49:58.928-06:002015-02-12T21:49:58.928-06:00or, Hi I think I may have a stalker can I borrow/p...or, Hi I think I may have a stalker can I borrow/pet sit your dog for protection? But yeah you would still have to care for it even if you don't have to pay anything.<br /><br />Have you thought about motion detector lights? I might recommend moving to an area with a better police force/presence but not sure if you can afford that. Even just moving to a different area, whether it's cheaper or the same would probably help.<br /><br />If your mail is being stolen from the po box, well then there's a problem with the post office.Evelynnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-29812383011683051132015-02-12T19:15:25.575-06:002015-02-12T19:15:25.575-06:00Since I've been actively avoiding dealing with...Since I've been actively avoiding dealing with something that's causing me to re-live painful memories, but will ultimately help me move forward, I know exactly how you feel. But I've learned that unless I'm able to confront it head on, I won't ever really be okay. I have to tell myself that I'm strong enough, even though I don't think it's true, because I can't go on thinking "What if I did something about it?" Ultimately, when I get to the bottom of this, I know I will be better off - and you will be too.<br /><br />You also now have a blog full of people who will support you in this, which you didn't have back then. Don't forget that! ;)CDnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-27474991004792863292015-02-12T14:34:47.399-06:002015-02-12T14:34:47.399-06:00I called the shelter in my area and they were just...I called the shelter in my area and they were just as frustrated with the police as I was. I started my own nonprofit largely in part due to the disconnect with the services we have and the governmental community, and just like our shetler we also haven't been able to bridge the gap with the police. NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-16457107287889914452015-02-12T14:25:56.227-06:002015-02-12T14:25:56.227-06:00Maybe you can call a non profit that works with ab...Maybe you can call a non profit that works with abused women and tell them your story. They might have good advice for dealing with unhelpful cops and your situation in general. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-61321550679040411022015-02-12T11:15:28.635-06:002015-02-12T11:15:28.635-06:00And this is why we get along, because we think the...And this is why we get along, because we think the same way. Last time I did go into the station armed with statistics and subtle threats and reminders of everything they were doing wrong, and something bad STILL happened. Technically I could "sue the everliving shit out of them" now. It's something I think about often. :/ It's something the social worker even suggested. "Hit em' where it hurts" she said, "we need to have some changes made around here."<br /><br />But yes, I don't think my brain can handle it yet and that scares me. But I'm not sure my brain could really handle dying either... :(NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-91961754755761559862015-02-12T11:12:51.403-06:002015-02-12T11:12:51.403-06:00Three times now I have filed a report with the mai...Three times now I have filed a report with the mail investigation department (did you know there is a whole department for that? I had no idea) and no one has EVER followed up with me. :(NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-39498643723504922912015-02-12T11:11:56.767-06:002015-02-12T11:11:56.767-06:00"Hi, can I borrow your dog?" That made m..."Hi, can I borrow your dog?" That made me laugh :) I'm not sure I could handle a dog right now on top of everything that is going on, but maybe I should put a big ass dog bowl on the front porch and some kind of "pro-gun" sign in the window! <br /><br />Having someone else read it first is a good idea.NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-25905103049155282222015-02-12T11:10:13.901-06:002015-02-12T11:10:13.901-06:00Haha! Nice!! I was seriously considering leaving l...Haha! Nice!! I was seriously considering leaving like a $10 walmart gift card in the mailbox so that I could track it to a store that I know has cameras!NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-6255603778468880002015-02-12T11:09:30.646-06:002015-02-12T11:09:30.646-06:00I pester that guy so much as it is I can't ima...I pester that guy so much as it is I can't imagine being like "oh and hey...can you also do this other thing for me?"<br /><br />It's a great idea though!!!NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-68875253496304072232015-02-12T11:08:54.366-06:002015-02-12T11:08:54.366-06:00Aw hey stranger :)
Thanks, I miss the dude but I ...Aw hey stranger :)<br /><br />Thanks, I miss the dude but I don't have any regrets :)NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-24003928782797935072015-02-12T11:08:26.637-06:002015-02-12T11:08:26.637-06:00I can't decide :(I can't decide :(NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-49565747679719432202015-02-12T11:08:13.327-06:002015-02-12T11:08:13.327-06:00Yea, I think I def need to check in with my therap...Yea, I think I def need to check in with my therapist :(<br /><br />I'm sorry that you are struggling as well :(<br /><br />*hugs*NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-78507945295599339512015-02-12T11:07:34.632-06:002015-02-12T11:07:34.632-06:00I do, he was the one that took all the reports. He...I do, he was the one that took all the reports. He told me that he personally put them on the investigators desk, but no one ever called me. He gave me his cell phone number but at this point it's really up to me to pursue it with the investigations department :(NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.com