tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post7353992768838163070..comments2023-05-31T10:46:19.766-05:00Comments on It Is Not My Shame to Bear: The Threatening Female Friend (And All The Hateful Stuff She Said About Me To The Guy I'm Dating) NotMyShametoBearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-23571106999631698932016-06-29T21:59:12.605-05:002016-06-29T21:59:12.605-05:00Thank you love :)Thank you love :)NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-61677401842499052262016-06-29T17:35:48.608-05:002016-06-29T17:35:48.608-05:00*waves hello!*
I swear I tried to sit down and rea...*waves hello!*<br />I swear I tried to sit down and read your recent posts, but every single time I looked up and realized a had a bit of spare time, Real Life decided to grow a sense of humor and smack me with a gigantic case of NOPE.<br /><br />Anyway, I agree with everyone else. While I do think guys and girls can be friends (and guys and guys and girls and girls in gay relationships), the "does this make me look sexy?" is crossing the line. And really, hanging out jut the two of them would bother me as well. Not to mention how she reacted when he told her he couldn't speak to her anymore...yikes.<br /><br />I can see being upset if a longtime friend suddenly sent me an email and said, "Hey, I can't talk to you anymore because a girl I'm dating doesn't want me to." But at the same time, I'd try to talk to him and ask him what brought this on, is there anything I could do, should I back off or something, etc. Her response? Definitely not okay.<br /><br />Trust your instinctsafairytale84https://www.blogger.com/profile/03530192464441555381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-37281832821423604842016-06-28T18:55:59.472-05:002016-06-28T18:55:59.472-05:00Why for the past few years did I think Frisbee Boy...Why for the past few years did I think Frisbee Boy was a child! And that his mom was your friend. Maybe I knew this and am just losing my mind hahaSarahwithanHnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-89913684464998419132016-06-08T18:08:15.596-05:002016-06-08T18:08:15.596-05:00You are completely right to trust your instincts o...You are completely right to trust your instincts on this! I personally don't believe that a heterosexual man and woman can be and remain "just friends." Everything you have said in this post confirms my thinking. Can't wait to read the next one! Emily and Anthonyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05391318600208912699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-59596742259416302372016-06-08T13:52:08.043-05:002016-06-08T13:52:08.043-05:00Dun dun duuuunnnn... and stay tuned for part 2 :)Dun dun duuuunnnn... and stay tuned for part 2 :)NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-63481874795985041422016-06-08T13:51:45.435-05:002016-06-08T13:51:45.435-05:00Or rather, the entire situation was!Or rather, the entire situation was!NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-30932906434135604942016-06-08T13:51:32.160-05:002016-06-08T13:51:32.160-05:00Agreed! This girl was getting under my skin lol!Agreed! This girl was getting under my skin lol!NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-69098642037142047082016-06-08T13:50:57.064-05:002016-06-08T13:50:57.064-05:00High-five!
(P.S. I was wondering if you were stil...High-five!<br /><br />(P.S. I was wondering if you were still around! Hi!)NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-1476500601608998512016-06-08T13:50:15.276-05:002016-06-08T13:50:15.276-05:00I could not agree more lol.
Grr this girl.I could not agree more lol. <br /><br />Grr this girl.NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-74819322728411418302016-06-08T13:49:47.090-05:002016-06-08T13:49:47.090-05:00I'm not sure if he gets something out of it as...I'm not sure if he gets something out of it aside from friendship (and no offense, but some guys can be a bit dull at picking up a woman's clues), but I DEFINITELY do not think this chick is on the up and up!<br /><br />But you are right, there isn't much I can do about it except to choose to be with him, or look for someone who can offer me something different :) We shall see what happens!NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-7535929194957716142016-06-08T06:05:04.259-05:002016-06-08T06:05:04.259-05:00First of all, *hugs*, It's not an easy positi...First of all, *hugs*, It's not an easy position to be in at all. I'm not getting a good vibe about this female "friend" of your boyfriend's. All kinds of inappropriateness on her part.murrmurr_03https://www.blogger.com/profile/17320047275384365792noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-24413262323664406902016-06-07T23:26:56.775-05:002016-06-07T23:26:56.775-05:00Yes! Trust your gut and know what you need to feel...Yes! Trust your gut and know what you need to feel safe and respected. Don't doubt yourself. You have guys friends of your own and know when something is off (e.g., I would never solicit feedback about a "sexy outfit from a guy friend! It's plutonic for a reason!) I can't wait until Part II!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-46370979967897849162016-06-07T15:47:46.805-05:002016-06-07T15:47:46.805-05:00This girl friend of his is full of shit. I have a ...This girl friend of his is full of shit. I have a lot of guys friends, and even BEFORE I got married, I never sent such pictures to them. Seriously. And I never, ever, had disrecpected ANY of their girlfriends (even dates). Being a friend do not entitle you to chose your pal's GF or BF. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-15663997138408906602016-06-06T15:33:16.039-05:002016-06-06T15:33:16.039-05:00Oh and I let myself go a little crazy and I checke...Oh and I let myself go a little crazy and I checked his phone (more then once:( )He would confide in her sometimes when we had problems!! Like it wasn't bad enough she was terrible to me, he told her our troubles. One time he came home and got really really drunk (literally the one and only time I would EVER see him drunk) So I knew something was up, one such message told her about how he had been thinking about his only other long term girlfriend because he had seen her earlier that day! That's why he came home and got hammered! I had been staying up half the night to make sure he didn't choke on his vomit and that's what I read!!! The other long term gf and him had dated 2 years. They had been separated for almost 3years when I met him, and we had been together for 2 years at that point! I was young and dumb and should of seen the signs that our union should have never continued.Facebooknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-15259420254614865972016-06-06T15:32:50.270-05:002016-06-06T15:32:50.270-05:00My ex-husband had had one of those friends. Differ...My ex-husband had had one of those friends. Difference was they actually dated for a week (no sex happened) before she broke up with him for another guy. Kept him around as a "friend" or as I'd like to say "backup". I meet him, we arrange a first date, and who comes along to OUR FIRST DATE. This chick. Turns out I knew her from back in Junior high. Was not friends with her, but I remembered her. She tried to tell him we had been "the best of friends!!" Wtf we had spoken a hand full of times, but her boycraze then had been too much for me (in junior high her parents let her highschool drop out boyfriend move in with them!!) I was never rude to her, just didn't become friends. Present day and a couple weeks later me and him are official, couple months later (after many issues with her butting in despite the fact she is with someone) I'm talking to him and I finally get him to admit her shitty behavior that had surfaced quickly towards me is because she straight told him she didn't like me. She asked him not to date me (or anyone for that matter), and he was confused by that. Asked me why she would say that when she had a boyfriend, I told him he was her "good guy backup" because she actually liked dating assholes instead, but he'd be there to tell her nice things and hangout with her when her bf ditched her for his bros (or side chicks). He refused to break off the friendship even though she clear as day despised me. And through our 6 years together she never stopped. I'm confident he never had a sexual affair, but I learned my lesson staying in a relationship with someone who would let their "friend" constantly disrespect me.Facebooknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-71251689410787882242016-06-04T00:32:43.741-05:002016-06-04T00:32:43.741-05:00Sounds like she likes him .....and I'm sure he...Sounds like she likes him .....and I'm sure he gets something from that. I don't think he wants to pursue anything serious with her though, from what you've said. I think it all comes down to trust; you have to trust him and if he strays ....then he strays. Nothing you can do, sorry. But you can't let it eat you up inside, worrying over what could or couldn't happen with him and her. Just be who you are ...and hopefully he'll see how wonderful that is and reciprocate the feelings/emotions.<br /><br />All the best :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-25353602085326879052016-06-03T18:41:21.383-05:002016-06-03T18:41:21.383-05:00Yeah - the "is this outfit sexy" is tota...Yeah - the "is this outfit sexy" is totally staking a claim on him when you were right there. There are names for "friends" like that - unfortunately few are very complimentary. I await with breath bated...jeaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17322709527738134797noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-57248994839131957772016-06-03T16:19:48.161-05:002016-06-03T16:19:48.161-05:00It is hard to stay friends after one is married or...It is hard to stay friends after one is married or in a serious relationship...it is often not fair to the spouse/significant other. I think it is possible for guys and gals to be friends but when you start sharing your deepest thoughts and begin to need each other, a line is crossed. It sounds too much like she is crossing the line. And if she truly cared for him, she would do as you did, try for a friendship with you and if that didn't work walk away. That is the classy way to handle it!Facebooknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-3466726063456553112016-06-03T15:05:49.714-05:002016-06-03T15:05:49.714-05:00Looking back I wish I would have handled things di...Looking back I wish I would have handled things differently from the beginning... watch for the next post!NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-81316838517695042202016-06-03T15:05:10.852-05:002016-06-03T15:05:10.852-05:00I tend to agree with you on that...I tend to agree with you on that...NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-55834484274606349652016-06-03T15:04:54.181-05:002016-06-03T15:04:54.181-05:00I guess we will have to see what happens... :DI guess we will have to see what happens... :DNotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-16236619116503698112016-06-03T15:04:21.477-05:002016-06-03T15:04:21.477-05:00#1 THANK YOU!!
#2 I wouldn't know since I was...#1 THANK YOU!!<br /><br />#2 I wouldn't know since I wasn't invited! I didn't see any pictures of him there, only The Guy and her together, so I'm assuming he wasn't there. Or if he was, she wasn't hanging out with him! Funny, I honestly never thought to ask if he was there or not...<br /><br />#3 That's because you act like a grown up :)<br /><br />#4 Enter my evil laugh...NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-22153703831341917732016-06-03T15:02:17.112-05:002016-06-03T15:02:17.112-05:00Yea, I agree that just because she is thinking one...Yea, I agree that just because she is thinking one thing, it doesn't mean that he is also thinking the same thing. It was still driving me INSANE though lol!<br /><br />I'm actually not friends with Frisbee Boy anymore. I mean we didn't have a falling out or anything, but after he got married, it just didn't feel right texting him to chat and calling him to hang out. His wife, while I have absolutely no issues with her and she has never been anything but nice to me, definitely did not seem AT ALL comfortable with us being friends, and after my attempts to get to know her better seemed to be met with resistance, I kind of faded away out of respect for the family he was building with her. Funny that you would bring that up though, I was just talking to his mom (Frisbee Boy's Mom!) about this the other day when we were talking about this situation. I still see Frisbee Boy, but we have zero relationship anymore outside of running into each other at "family" parties and whatnot. <br /><br />Now I'm not saying "and that is how everyone should do things," I'm just saying it's how that situation ended up playing out. NotMyShametoBearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07679891969349514369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-71770054714531036202016-06-03T13:54:59.175-05:002016-06-03T13:54:59.175-05:001. I am married and would never ask another male -...1. I am married and would never ask another male - even someone I was long time friends with - if my outfit was 'too sexy' <br />2. Where was her husband at this party - marital issues I guess. But if I went to a party with a male friend who had a new girl she would TOTALLY be invited - I would even be eager to meet her - IF he was just a friend. <br />3.If one of my guy friends said they couldn't talk to me anymore because of a girl I would first respect that decision and second try to make her feel comfortable around me. <br />4. I am ready for the rest of the post this is agonizing. <br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15843245185561931761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4828879467490478491.post-81173906880645171132016-06-03T13:50:01.135-05:002016-06-03T13:50:01.135-05:00Just because she is having an emotional affair doe...Just because she is having an emotional affair does not mean that he has gone there in his mind or that he is cheating. However as Billy Crystal says in "When Harry Met Sally" "men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way". I think there is often truth in this but it is not always the case...after all...you are still friends with Frisbee Boy, aren't you?Mary Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08814636676077833766noreply@blogger.com