Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Happy Same Old Crap Day Single Mother's of America

So, mother's day is coming up, which for single parents or people who are childless not by choice, can be very much like Valentine's Day for single people. I was sitting around with a group of single mom's a few weeks ago and the topic of Mother's Day came up. I listened as they talked about everything that bothered them as single mother's and what they wished that the rest of the world knew and understood. I decided to write an article about it from the point view of an overworked, overtired, stressed out, single mother.

I wanted to let other single mother's know that it's ok. It's ok to admit that you are overworked and overstressed. I think that a lot of us single mother's (and mother's in general) try and keep up the facade that "we are ok! We've got it! I can do this" because society expects us to be ok parenting the children that we have birthed. I wanted to stand up and say "yes, I birthed them, and you know what? It's a lot of work and even though I love my kids, I'm not always happy about the fact that I'm doing it alone."

I wanted to show the women that are feeling the way that I sometimes do, that they are not alone in their feelings.

I looked at it, reread it a few times, soaked in the tone, and then I sent it off to XOJane. The tone of my piece is irritated and you know what, I'm ok with that. As single mother's we all go through period's of just wanting to yell "SHUT THE HELL UP" to people who are complaining about being overworked. Anyone, single mother or not, who claims that they haven't wanted to bitch slap a few complainers every now and then is totally lying.



We all do it.
It doesn't mean that we feel that way all the time, it doesn't mean that we always view our lives as harder than someone else's, it means we are having a "moment."  That moment, for me, rings loud and clear on Mother's Day.

I chose to submit the piece as an opinion piece because it would be absurd of me to speak for all single mothers, we are all on different journey's and we all have different feelings. With that being said, the jist of my article was gathered from very real discussions from very real single mothers, and feelings that I myself have felt at times.

It went live today over on the XOJane site. (click on that link to be taken to the article)

XOJane is a site that claims it is "where women go to be their unabashed selves, where they can be selfish and their selfishness is applauded." What that really means is that they run a slew of highly opinionated and socially controversial articles. I actually really like the site because I love reading different (and bizarre) points of view, not to mention articles that make me gasp. What that also means is that they attract a HUGE crowd of trolls because the articles that they run ARE controversial. It is very evident by the fact that the comments section is filled with people who go from article to article screaming their opinions in the comments section and blasting the writer for writing the article. If it were up to the trolls 90% of the writers wouldn't be writing anything and then what would they be reading?

When I found out the article was approved I sent Mr. Attorney Man a warning email telling him that this article was most definitely going to be baiting to the trolls because it is highly controversial. Well, that is exactly what happened. I'd actually say that the response seemed to be split about 50/50, but everyone know's the angry one's scream a lot louder than the happy one's. The tone was not well received by a lot of the unhappy people (many of whom will never walk a day in my shoes), and again, I'm ok with that. XOJane IS a site for strong opinions. In no way does my opinion about a certain holiday define who I am as a mother or a person.

Also, in case you were unaware, "I am a bitter and mean spirited person, my kids are going to grow up feeling like a burden, I should have never had children if I didn't want them, I live in the world's largest pity party, I don't deserve to be a mother, and my kids will be ruined." At least that's according to the XOJane commentors. One woman even went as far as to post multiple comments about how my story cannot be true, and then followed it up with "coming on social media and being bitchy is such a thrill." There's a lot I could respond to about that....but this is me restraining....

Fun times.


I don't really feel the need to give every commenter on XOJane the details of my life, they are welcome to pop over here and read about how much I love my kids. I'm not going to scream in the comments section that even though the tone of the article is pure annoyance, I choose to live my life without much anger and resentfulness of my past, I don't care to tell them that I grew up in a house were I was constantly told I was a burden and that I am determined to raise my kids differently despite being a single mother. Don't care and I'm not gonna do it. The fact is they read once piece where I was ranting about how hard it is to be a single mother and they all decided that I resent my kids.

Everyone that I have met in the online writing world warned me not to post a strongly opinionated article on XOJane because its the place where commenters love to rip people to shreds, but I didn't care.

I still don't.

People go on there and they comment that it is my fault that "I am missing the point of mother's day" and while that may be true, society reinforces feelings of mothers day hatred in many single mothers. Everywhere I turn it's "take mom out to dinner and give her a break this mother's day. Buy mom xxx and show her that you care. Get mom a car wash because she works so hard." For weeks on end I am reminded of how hard I work and that I deserve a break, and guess what? A break is not coming for me! Yes, I physically get out of the house without my kids sometimes, but no one is coming to lighten the emotional workload. No one is coming to help me prepare them for an adult future. It is mentally exhausting to know that all of the work that really matters in their lives is 100% on me and I have no one to share it with.

I'm a single mother who loves my children with every fiber of my being, but I freaking hate mother's day. It is the one day where I feel jilted, angry, and am reminded that I am overworked. It's the one day where I can't bring myself to look at Facebook and see what everyone else is doing, because it is a day that has been hyped up in the media and ads for weeks as "the day mother's get recognized and pampered" and I see other mother's getting what I admittedly, selfishly, want. For me it's the one day where all the feelings of being an overworked single mother that I constantly stuff down, come creeping up to the surface. It's the one day where I remember that the father of my children doesn't care to acknowledge the fact that I used my body to bring them into this world and that I use my life to keep them here. It's a rough day for me and as much as that rubs people the wrong way, it's the way I feel, and you know what? It's ok. I'm allowed to feel that way.

So XOJane can rip me apart all they want, I don't care. For a lot of single mother's out there it is going to be a very rough day. Society expects us as parents raise up productive members of society. I think all single mother's deserve a little more acknowledgement when they are doing it all alone.

With that being said, as is my usual outlook on my new and changing life, this year I am going to try really hard to focus on the fact that I get to celebrate Mother's Day because I am blessed to even be a mother.

I hate my ex but I'd marry him all over again just to be assured that I could spend my life raising my two wonderful kids.



If you know a single mother, do me a favor and don't forget about her on mother's day. Call her, send her a simple text just plainly saying that you acknowledge all she does for her kids. If you're her friend, offer to take the kids for an afteroon. Don't have time, send her a card. Hell buy her a car wash coupon. Do something, anything, to let her know that you recognize how hard she works to raise human beings into people that will have a positive impact on our world. If she is like me, she has been stuggling all year to hold it together and a mother's day where the father doesn't even care that she is doing it all alone, it tends to let the feelings ooze through the cracks of her facade.

Reach out to your single mom friends, as stupid or awkward as it may be, you may be the only one who remembered.

I know it would mean the world to me to be acknowledged on a day that hurts so much.



Ducks
thumbs down
liar

86 comments:


  1. I have a lot of beefs with Mother's Day--namely, it assumes that all households have a mom and dad, and doesn't even bother to consider any other type of family arrangement as legitimate, no matter how happy or fulfilled that family may be. This means single moms, this meant gay families (although that's probably changing), this means any parent who's not doing it the way all the TV commercials tell you to do it.

    I'm going over to XO Jane to read your piece now--not just because I like your writing or that I find your life story compelling (both are true), but because this issue is worthwhile, and I'm glad you brought it up.

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    1. I could imagine myself in a lesbian relationship "you had mother's day last year. This year it's mine and you take father's day." Nice.

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    2. Not every single holiday is meant to honor or acknowledge everyone and that is not some premeditated act of exclusion you're making it out to be. There is Mother's Day and homes without mothers have Father's Day and Grandparent's Day. Also just because they're designated as Whomever's Day doesn't mean you can't put your own spin on it.

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    3. she was just giving her opinion and how she felt about the holiday. she plainly states that it's her opinion that's what she wrote an opinion piece. as she also states, she is allowed to have her opinion. as a single mother who would like to bitch slap a few people of my own, I agree with her

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    4. When one idea of family is imposed on another, it becomes an act of exclusion--premeditated or not.

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  2. I think really mother's day is meant for little kids to try and make their mom breakfast in bed. But your daughter showed you she could take care of things when you were asleep on the floor.

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    1. Haha, so true she didn't do a half bad job last time! You may be on to something here....

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  3. Seriously just wrote earlier today about how xojane really riled me up last night. Yet again I can't sleep and for whatever ungodly reason I head over to the site tonight to find more commenters driving me insane. I'm glad I clicked over to this page to read more of your story. I emailed another xojane writer this AM to let her know I was convinced that 99.9% of internet commenters were actually members of an additional circle of hell closet to satan. Maybe Mr. Attorney Man can represent me when that site becomes responsible for the inevitable exploding of my brain that will soon occur if I continue to read their comment section. I guess I just wanted to say I'm sorry that's a shitty day, I totally hear why you would feel that way and I also know people, even people close to me, misinterpret my tone, sarcasm or dark humor as something else quite frequently. Whatever to those f*ckers. Wishing you the best.

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    1. Ha!! Oh no, we don't want any head exploding. Seriously though, the comments there are rough aren't they! I always find myself cringing whern I read them. According to the commentors a good majority of us writers would run right into traffic and rid the world of our awful opinoins. Whatever!

      Glad you made it over here, I hope you stick around!

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  4. I'm a single mom since before giving birth and I think that's why I didn't get your piece. I skipped town because the " sperm donator" was abusive and the last thing I would want to keep in my life as toxic influence to my kid. So yeah, I didn't get that part about wanting your husband back. I am happy I cut that guy out of my life and grateful he didn't track me down or find me again. Never ever going back and can't imagine subjecting my kid to any portion of that.
    So obviously, a father never had anything to do celebrating Mother's Day and I don't really connect someone to it. Cuz there never was one in my case. So for me Mother's Day is more about kids giving appreachtion and thank you to their mom than anything else. Having a break and everything else? Not so much. So that piece is just confusing to me and I really don't get what your talking about. Maybe single moms that didn't start out early being single and had a mom father kid relationship can understand it, I don't know what it's like celebrating moms day as couple. Otherwise, it's just a Sunday where kids try to treat their moms. I don't see it as society rewarding human incubators or stuff. I could really care less about it but kids in kindergarten and stuff do enjoy turning the table so whatevs. Like I say, I don't expect much from mothers day so getting frustrated and worked up out it? Hm, no. So I really didn't understand much of your piece. Hm maybe I'm weird

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    1. Oh nooooo, I never said I wanted my husband back. No way, no how. We are much better off now that he is gone.

      Yet even though I don't want "him" back, I still hate being reminded on mothers day that I am doing it all alone.

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    2. Oh you know what, you're right, there is a part that says "I'd just be happy if my husband came home." I actually had written "At least you have a husband who come's home" and the editor changed it. I was pretty peeved when I saw that because that's absolutely not what I want!

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    3. I find it hard to believe the "editor" changed anything, XOJane is kinda known for not even proofreading enough to fix obvious typos. ;)

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    4. Well you are welcome to believe whatever you want to believe, when I submitted it, it said "Listen Lady, just be happy your husband came home."

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    5. Actually I do believe that because xojane is known to have made some serious editor mistakes in the past. Anyway it does make a big difference between the two versions and I really don't see any need for changing the original. Did you get them to change it back?

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    6. I sent them an email, if they will resond is anyone's guess. They aren't very good at responding. I didn't even know they were running the article! I've never written for a company before that didn't have the author approve editing changes, so I was a little floored....

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  5. Thank you for writing on Xojane. I feel exactly the same way. I know everyone just thinks I should suck it up and be happy to be a mom at all, and while I am happy, mothers day always makes me feel sad, angry, and yea, as you said, jilted. All the people just saying "don't look at Facebook" can just stfu because it's not just on Facebook, it's EVERYWHERE. We are allowed to be upset. Since when does society get to tell us that we need to be happy all the time about the fact that we got screwed over?

    Keep writing!!

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    1. Ha, yea, the Facebook part really pissed people off. Oh well, can't please them all! As a single mother Facebook is a lot of times my grown up conversation space! Just because a few comments irk me doesn't mean I should banish it forever.

      *hugs*

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  6. Loved this post! My kids are autistic and while raising them has been wonderful it's also been exhausting, saying so and wishing Mother's Day would die a fiery death doesn't mean I don't love them.

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    1. You rock! Thank you for all the hard work you put in towards your awesome children :)

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  7. I have never been a single mom...been married for 30 years to a man that I still love very much....but that doesn't mean Mother's Day has been a celebration of me. Sure, I have never known the fatigue of working fulltime to support my kids and myself, having to come home after a long day of work and cook dinner, help with homework, take care of sick kids etc, etc, etc...all as the only adult. But I have felt the inner clenching when a friend shows off her new ring that hubby bought her or another tells of the wonderful trip she was treated to for Mother's Day. My husband generally buys someting for HIS mother...but I am not HIS mother(and I usually remind him that it is coming so he will remember his mother). His contention is that Mother's Day is for children to honor THEIR mothers, not for husbands to honor their wives. And as my children have become adults they have tried to honor me. My daughter, who is now a mother herself, always does something for me because she gets it (and is frankly bothered by her father's attitude) and my son tries. Do not get me wrong....I am not trying to compare my story to yours. I am only saying that Mother's Day, especially if we have young or particularly self centered older kids, is often a time of heartache to many mothers, married, single, or any other variation. The media hypes our expectations and we can find ourselves yearning for something we may not even think about if such a manufactured holiday did not exist.

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    1. I agree. I've never even really had what some might call a typical mothers day. Think my ex cared to even acknowledge it? Hell no. It just seems to have become more apparent now that I'm a single mom, but that in no way diminishes the struggles of other mother's on this day.

      What is Hallmark doing to us lol?

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    2. So Mary Anne, what's his excuse on your Anniversary? (Just wondering...) ?! p.s.: Does he not get that you're the MOTHER of HIS CHILDREN?!

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    3. We generally just get each other cards for our anniversay, by mutual agreement, and then go out for a nice dinner/evening. Yes, he does "get" it but it is a big difference in how we were raised...I am sure it was what his dad did. He does try on other occasions, such as birthdays but, truly, he pretty much sucks at gift giving. And, since he truly doesn't care if he gets gifts or not, I think it is hard to understand why someone else would care. He is not very good at putting himself into others' shoes. But he is truly a good man, all in all an excellent husband and good father. My comment was more about how some of these manufactured holidays can cause more heartache for anyone, mother, father, gf, bf etc.

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  8. Mother's day is just another commercialized day that doesn't mean anything like Valentine's Day or Father's day. I don't need Walmart to remind me that I should buy my mom some flowers or take her to dinner, I already do that randomly when I think it would make her happier.

    I know it sucks because of the society pressure , but just see it as any other day. As far as the trolls go well a lot of people have a pretty narrow view of life and can't walk on anyone else shoes and have pretty low intelligence.

    People seems to be shocked when they read someone as articulate/intelligent as yourself and that you don't fit the stereotype of a victim they have in their mind. God knows victims of sexual abuse should always be depressed and never act like they are happy or anything, cause if they do is obviously a fake right?

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    1. Thank you :) I'm glad I'm not depressed and crying all the time! If that makes me fake, well then so be it!

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  9. I came over here from XO Jane, and I'm so happy I did. you are absolutely hilarious! I've been reading your blog all morning and I'm totally in love with you!!!

    ignore the trolls on XO jane, there is a reason that site is always in the media getting talked about for its raging comments section. the site didn't go all the way to the top for nothing, it's because people come back and day after day to see how much other people hate other people, then they jump on the bandwagon and when other people back them up they feel empowered and they keep coming back. it's basically a great big playground full of bullies! keep your chin up sweetheart!

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    1. There's a reason it has the largets GOMI page! The trolls are terrible. Oh well, let them have their fun, its probably the highlight of their day!

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  10. What that also means is that they attract a HUGE crowd of trolls because the articles that they run ARE controversial. It is very evident by the fact that the comments section is filled with people who go from article to article screaming their opinions in the comments section and blasting the writer for writing the article. If it were up to the trolls 90% of the writers wouldn't be writing anything and then what would they be reading?

    When I found out the article was approved I sent Mr. Attorney Man a warning email telling him that this article was most definitely going to be baiting to the trolls.
    ----------------------------

    Writing an article, which baits the trolls, makes YOU a troll, yourself. You don't realize that, do you? But of course, you don't care, because it's an attempt to attract new readers.

    I can't wait until you are outed as the fraud that you are.

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    1. Must be nice living the life of a mindless drone where you are just one more of the collective. I guess in your mind she is not allowed to vent or be frustrated she should just endure and stfu while smiling then in a few years from now just overdose or cut her wrists like a good victim.

      Nowadays writing anything baits trolls cause sadly society is full of functional retards like yourself that have zero empathy toward others and get their kicks from being scumbags online.

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    2. Baiting the trolls is an expression a lot of writers use when they write an article they know trolls will jump on. Eden said.she knew people were going to flip and warned her attorney that it would happen. Doesn't mean she still isn't entitled to her opinion. Either way, if she was baiting the trolls it sure worked on you

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    3. Oooh... dropping the "R" word on me. Ouchie! You're so eloquent, you couldn't come up with a better insult? Come on, Jonnie, you can do better than that!

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    4. Chelsi - she's a fraud. I calls 'em like I sees 'em.

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    5. And you're an angry little troll aren't you? Come here angry little troll, I'll brush your troll hair and put you to bed. Maybe tomorrow you can get up on the other side of the bed.

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    6. Where's your proof, Irene? Truth is you have none because it's NOT true that Eden is a fraud! I had an acquaintence once that called me a fraud to a friend when she found out some of the horrible things that had happened in my life....this bitch couldn't stand not having all the attention for herself and dissed anyone's story she thought more worthy than her own. She was a vile thing...ended up with crazy, nasty kids, a husband that despised her and a life that was not what she wanted...are you sure YOUR name IS Irene? You sound just like her!

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    7. Irene, "I calls 'em like I sees 'em.". You must have a pretty sad life to have to come here and insult her, thats pretty much what all trolls are, sorry arse scumbags. If you dont like her "opinion" write something yourself saying how cool it is for you, instead of being a douche about it.

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    8. The naivety of the WKers is so sweet, though, Irene!

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    9. Thanks Jon and Maryanne :)

      Irene

      http://itisnotmyshametobear.blogspot.com/2014/01/a-message-to-trolls.html

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    10. Mary Anne** Sorry I put your name wrong!!

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    11. Wait, I'm puzzled... Irene, how is it fraudulent to express yourself? In whatever way you choose? (Or are you thinking she's maybe really a gay guy with no kids and a teddy bear sugar daddy who is kept in luxury and just lying about everything simply for fun?) Seriously, I don't get what you are basing your comment on, or what it means. Where is the fraud in her posts or blog? And I'm also unclear how writing something that you know will create controversy to certain types makes you the same as them? (If I'm a woman who writes about education for girls, knowing it will annoy or inflame the terrorist muslims who feel women should be kept ignorant, does that make me a terrorist muslim too?) Really, I'm confused by your "logic" there...? But the fraud part is especially a stumper... got the head scratch thing going on about that. Now me, I have no kids (personal choice) and could not care less about Mother's day in that regard, but experience as a caregiver of a well loved elderly family member gives me a stroll in Eden's moccasins enough to know that no matter how much you care about somebody and would even give your life for them, there are still bleak times as the relentless hours build without any respite when caregiving just sucks and you long for a magic lamp genie or a miracle from the sky to give you even a tiny breather of relief from the endless and crushing weight of the responsibility and labor. (And anybody who claims otherwise and/or is "shocked" to see that motherhood has those moments, especially the single version, is the liar and the fraud.)

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    12. Your comment Irene reminds me of those who claim that the tragedy at Sandy hook was all staged, and everybody involved were all actors...just because they were sharing their stories, following a tragic event. Who in the world would be capable of sharing their story after such an event in their lives? Certainly then, it never happened, and they're all a bunch of fakes and actors! That must be it. I guess people like you have it all figured then.

      If you don't like a certain style of authorship, why not just move on? It seems to me you went out of your way to get to this blog (I get the impression you've never been here before, but hey, maybe I'm wrong - certainly don't like to assume), to purposely spread negativity and insult Eden. But hey, that's what people like you do with your spare time I suppose - Scary...

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    13. That's crazy about the Sandy Hook thing, I hadn't heard of that!

      Didn't you guys know? I'm apparently a fraudulent writer because GASP, I choose not to reveal my identity and GASP there is no way abuse like this happens!

      I do find it funny though that so many people take the time to go out of their way to act as some sort of internet vigilante and call out people that they don't know, just because they don't like what they are reading. Like the ENTIRE internet isn't big enough to just CLICK your way away from me.

      Interesting....

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    14. Yeah, people like Irene totally irritate me, and freak me out (I hope my tone of sarcasm towards her was obvious - I'm not a very good writer). I don't blame you for not revealing your identity...very good choice. The unfortunate thing is the poor families of the Sandy Hook victims couldn't hide their identities, and therefore were (and still are) harassed by these truthers/conspiracy theorists who think they have the whole world figured out, posting whatever they believe all over the Internet, at the expense of innocent people's feelings. Imagine just wanting to grieve the loss of a cherished one, and having to deal with these jerks? I certainly don't like giving them any of my time, but I just had to say something this time. It was sort of my way of saying it to all of those "Irene Smiths" out there :)

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    15. I still need to google the Sandy Hook thing, I don't think I ever heard about the conspiracy stuff. So people were saying it was planned? Why on earth would it be planned!?

      I cannot even imagine being grieving like that and feel like you have to fight for the truth as well :(

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    16. I totally broke the character barrier - I have to make this into 2 comments...Yikes!

      Oh, it was pretty bad...those idiots actually made hours of videos about trying make it seem like it was all set up. It was so bad, that if you typed in the search bar "Sandy Hook", immediately it returned "Sandy Hook Hoax", as your first result, instead of proper news results.

      Intermission...why I so have no patience for these people? I've tried so hard to believe that all they need is love - but I realize now, they would make even Love a conspiracy theory - I'm really done with these people. I've tried to give Love to my absolutely, deadbeat, father of my children, and even more so, to my father,(he's no way near a Dad) a paranoid, angered, narcissistic father, for so many years. I feel I've spent so much time and energy on this style of people...I can no longer do this - people who will tarnish anything anyway - no matter what positive you offer. That's why, I left them both.

      This so terribly horrible tragedy happened on a Friday. We had just starting getting news here of it late afternoon, with not much detail, I was on my way home to pick up my children. It was sombre news, but not much detail. By Saturday morning, as I was making coffee, the news made it become clear, what had happened. I had a cold. We were all of us doing Christmas decoration stuff later that morning, and as we were untangling the lights...it hit me. The visual of our home, with excited children...our moment...I excused myself (more from my kids than their father), walked out onto the front porch...and broke down. With the intense crying, and the cold, I had snot (and I was standing, because I didn't have time to sit before I started my breakdown), the snot was down to my knees. I've never seen snot that long! I spent the rest of the weekend decorating, crying when I had a moment, and thinking, geez, these were just children. They should be doing exactly this right now. It's Christmas, even Grinch isn't this awful!

      Anyway, I got to work early that Monday. I'm very curious, and logical - so I wanted to know what happened, and why? Really, my logical side just wanted to understand - WHY??? I took some time to catch up on what happened online, and to my surprise, as soon as the words "Sandy Hook" were typed in the search bar - "Sandy Hook Hoax" appears. I couldn't believe it! THIS was all a HOAX???? Our hearts broken all weekend, and this is a HOAX??? I got a bit angry - what kind of sick twisted joke is this? I gave it the benefit of the doubt, and checked it out. But then, when I watched just a couple of these people's theories, it became evident to me...it was they, who fabricated this conspiracy theory shit. And their moto seems to be is, "if you can't see what we see, then you must be blind and absolutely stupid, or some brainwashed person"...or something like that, I really don't care what their reasoning is...because to me it seems pretty fucked up. I really don't want to understand their dark side.

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    17. Anyway, my experience aside, people like "Irene Smith", can, in my point of view, go fuck themselves'. If you have nothing nice to share??? They are, in my opinion, a complete waste of energy. They're the ones, if you didn't dot your i, they would call you on it - and I'd like to say this - to all of the "Irene Smiths"(and all of you stupid fucking truthers out there of the world), if you are reading - Us Good People don't need that shit in our lives. Us Mothers don't need shit like this in our lives. We have enough to worry about, like,big stuff, like sending your children to school, and wonder if we'll ever see them again? It's an everyday fear for me. But I guess, that would be our fault too, should that happen...right? Because we didn't do enough - right? Well you know fucking what? Check mark in progress, because you know why? It's up to me I guess to see the security flaws in my school, and call the district on it - yeah that's totally my responsibility...why you ask??? Because I'm a Mother, EveryFuckingSingleDay - So when I've made sure my school is safe from some person who chooses to walk in, and blast his way around...why? Because he's having a bad day? When I've done my best to make sure that school has lessen the chance that my children will be killed there by some fucking asshole having a bad day- will I then deserve my Mother's day treat? We don't see that in everyday Mother's day commercials do we??? Aside from everyday things - this is our job. It pains me when a Mother Bear has been killed for being "ferocious", when all she's doing is protecting her Cub. But we don't see this in Mother's day commercials...do we?

      Or when I listened to a Mother yesterday who lost her son in the Afghanistan war. What kind of card do you give to her? Oh, you know what she got - a $2300 bill from our government for his funeral arrangements. Nice -

      And I'm sure you truthers will claim I'm no better than you right now, because I'm bitching against you, just as you bitch against us. The difference is...you were NOT invited here to insult us.

      What Eden expressed in her article, was a true expression of what Single, Only Parent, Married, Common Law, or Whatever your situation is as a Mother. You know what? Yeah, I have a good job, but when I miss days on end, because of sickness, I wonder if my swipe key will work - I wonder if I might have been fired.

      So go the fuck back to whatever fucking world you awful people live in, insult yourselves, chew yourselves apart, eat yourselves to death I really don't care anymore what you do, instead of doing all of this to people who didn't invite you in their lives, and trying to do the best we can, as Single Mothers, or whatever Life We Are Living...and who may not appreciate the commercialism of Mother's Day. Because the point of Eden's article, was, in my opinion, about that. You missed it, because...you'd rather be a bunch of fucking truthers! Yeah, I'm Ranting, but we don't hate each other here because we have opinions, Eden...She helps us, and we help her. You truthers/and conspiracy theorists - go take your freak show somewhere else, and take fucking hike.


      P.S. This post was rated "R" for its swearing content. Bit too late now. Oh well, better late than never ;)

      Delete
    18. Eden...I'm sorry for writing the last comment, and will take all responsibility for doing so... you just tell me how I can do that...how I can take it all back . Eden? I'm really sorry, because this is your blog, and I went and aired my feelings to those...I will keep my language clean - impolite towards you people. I never do this, and so long of a comment on top of that??...I'm so sorry...You can sue me if you want.

      But I will be proud of being sued by you ;) Why? Because I have my motive - Standing Strong against these pricks. As a banana peel falls of the table, you will never know what it means to me to visit here. It's not just You, the most Beautiful, Strong Woman I've come across - the One I landed upon looking for a bit understanding. It's your Commenters here too...most Beautiful too ;)
      Looking forward to my subpoena:)


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    19. Dear Anonymous of the last 3 comments,
      You are sharing your heart. I may not agree with everything you have said (though I agree with most of it!) but I know you are crying out in your sadness, anguish and anger over the hate and vileness some people throw out at others with either no recognition or no concern of how it hurts others! I applaud you for your passion and caring (& I hope Eden doesn't sue you! Teehee!)!

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    20. Haha, no one is getting sued :) Trust me, if I was suing anyone, you would be so far down the list I would die before reaching your name!

      You were just ranting your feelings, just like I did in the XOJane post. While I never like to see people getting upset with each other, I'd be lying if I didn't say it was nice to see people coming to my defense :)

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    21. Oh, I'm so glad I won't be sued for sharing my feelings :) Thank You both for supporting and understanding me. That must be the BIGGEST rant of my life! It felt good, but at the same time, scary. I have such a jerks of the world annoyance in my heart...I couldn't stand it anymore. I pretty much exploded. But I'm comfortable doing that here - but it will never happen again ;)
      Much Love to the both of You Lovely Ladies!


      Thank You

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    22. This is for Mary Anne,

      I never have gotten a reply from another commenter...and yes, I'm all those feelings you mentioned, not everyday though. There is also ALOT of Happy ;) Your comment pretty much nailed it.

      That event changed my life completely. Wasn't instant...took a year, but over that year, I thought about ALOT of things. And then, made the changes I needed to make. They're still fresh, so it can be at times a bit heavy for me, but I know, that's OK.

      Thank you for your reply. I see your comments often - and very much respect them:)

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    23. Follow up on my comment...I had the worst stomach flu in the world that kicked in right after my uber comment...maybe that's what was in me when I wrote :) My child had it today...Fun!

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    24. Oh no, thats the worst!! (p.s. Its me, Eden, for some reason I cant log onto my account from my phone and Im all snuggly in bed and far from my computer)

      I hope you guys are all feeling better now!!!

      *hugs*

      Delete
    25. That is kinda funny to see you post...like all of us...hee, hee :)
      BTW...I don't get alerts or anything if there's a response to comments...I have to go back and scan...how do I get there?

      P.S. It was a long one, but we are better now...thank goodness :)

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    26. Haha! Yes, mingling with the "common folk" around here ;)

      In order to get email alerts I believe you have to have a registered google account name. Then when someone replies to you, you should get an email alert. :)

      I'm glad you guys are all feeling better!

      Delete
  11. THANK YOU!! I'm a single mom and while I love my kids I want to freaking scream from the rooftops on Mother's day.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm not a single mom, but I saw this blog mentioned on GOMI and took a look around. I can imagine I'd feel this way if I were in your shoes; you have every right to express your feelings about it. Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  13. A DONATE button???
    I liked you and your pieces on XOJ, until I came here and saw that. Kind of presumptuous and opportunistic, but after looking at your blog posts, it looks like you really get off on getting things for free. A DONATE button. Man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah, she also provides tons of free classes to domestic abuse survivors, giving up her time to help others because she knows people help her. she started a not-for-profit because she wanted to help others. we, as her readers, asked her multiple times to put a donate button on there. she went several months before actually doing it, and only because we repeatedly asked her to set her pride aside.

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    2. Man how many times are you gonna come here and talk shit? Is obvious you are the same person as the one below claiming to be a single mom.

      There is no wonder you are a single mom, I doubt anyone could live with someone so spiteful. You should hook up with Eden ex I bet you make a good couple.

      Delete
  14. I'm still flabbergasted by the Donate button. There are millions of single moms in rough spots in their lives. I was a single mom for many, many years. It never would have occurred to me to write a blog online, airing alllllll of my family's shit, and inserting a Donate button to collect money for doing-ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Ridiculous bullshit. Why don't you go to college and do something with yourself? There are so many financial resources out there to put single moms through school. Writing a whiny-ass, humblebrag blog isn't going to get you anywhere you really want to be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. why don't you get off your jealous high horse and actually read the posts before putting your wild ugly mouth out there for everyone to see. we as readers, repeatedly asked her to put a donate button on there, even though she said multiple times she did not want to. her exact words were this blog is about healing not about money. we asked because we wanted to help her, because she is trying to make something of herself. you are just jealous that people want to listen to her, and you feel like you need to be heard too

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    2. how the hell do you know what she's doing with her life? clearly you have not read any of the posts about her career

      Delete
    3. You are obviously new here. Take the time to start from the beginning before you judge and spew your venom. All of your hateful comments and accusations will be answered.... including the donate button! Then maybe you can make an educated comment.

      Delete
    4. Humblebrag? Eden pokes fun of herself ALL the time, and plainly states her flaws ALL OVER this page. Just because she has learned to love herself, flaws and all, doesn't make her a humblebrag. She shares her good parts with us and she shares her bad, even when the bad makes her look bad. That's human.

      Delete
    5. No, you are the ridiculous person, spreading bullshit, anonymous #1. WE - her readers, ME included - asked her to put that button there, more than once. If you had read the blog, you would know that.

      That said, you don't like the donate button, just don't donate. And END of the story. And while you don't want to do so, I can do with MY money whatever I want to do, and if I want to make a pile and set fire on it, help someone or just expend in something that I don't need, it's mine.

      When people say "do not judge others" thats include you. You have done it without ANY concearn, without any interest to really know WHY that button was there.

      Should I pay you the same courtesy? Why don't you go to make something useful or with your time?

      Delete
    6. Thank you guys :) I really appreciate everyone who has had my back :)

      Delete
    7. Dude, none of your beeswax why the donate button is there.
      Take your poopy mouth somewhere else.

      Delete
  15. Hi Eden,

    Loved your article. Too bad some didn't get it.
    I remember a couple of years ago, I received a phone call from someone wishing me a happy mother's day, and they asked what the plans were for the day. Gave them a list of chores, and also taking care of a sick child. They sounded...unimpressed. I then told them that that's what being a mom is all about. Certainly wasn't going to be the father of my children that was going to take care of it. This will be my first mother's day as a single mom :)
    Sorry you had some nasty visitors on your site. Geez.
    For what it's worth, I wish you a wonderful Sunday :)
    Nathalie
    xoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks hun, I wish you a wonderful Mother's Day as well. You deserve it!!! I'll be thinking of you and all the amazing single mom's and every mom on Sunday. Parenting in any form is hard work!

      *hugs*

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  16. Sending this now (while my cat is walking all over the keyboard - so there may be some spelling weirdness) because of the many different time zones of the readers. My time zone might be the afternoon for others, and I would like this to reach for Sunday morning...

    Happy Same Old Crap Day! (aka Mother's Day) ;) Whatever you are doing today, Mothers, have a fabulous time doing it!
    Sending much Love,
    Nathalie
    xoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! Happy Mother's day to you my dear, I hope the day is as wonderful as you and all of my reader's are :)

      Delete
  17. Wow. Seems like one or two people are too cowardly to troll you except anonymously. Ignore them. They must have pretty sad lives if this is how they spend their time.

    I hope your mother's day was lovely, even if you hate the holiday. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It wasn't too bad, I was suprisingly loved on and extremely greatful :)

      Yes, the anonymous trolls. Fun times....

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    2. Sometimes anonymous is not a bad thing...I love sharing my opinion, but I'm too much of a whimp :( I will start trying to being transparent...Still singing anon though...

      Delete
    3. Could my spelling be any worse??? Yeah, I did go to school...Geez!

      Delete
    4. Oh I have nothing against normal anonymous comments. I completely understand the need to stay anonymous.

      It's more the trolls who come here just to cause drama, call names, question Eden (or any other blogger on the blogger's personal blog), etc. that I was calling out here. :)

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    5. I was referring to the anonymous trolls as well, not just the anonymous comments. I realize there are many reason's why people post anonymously which is why I chose to make it an option :)

      But the anonymous trolls are a different story...

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    6. I will still write anon, although I print my name from time to time -because if I have harsh comments, it hurts less.

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