My Husband Sucks At Bowling

With October being Domestic Violence Awareness Month, much of my time has been taken up by nonprofit events and speaking engagements, so I apologize for not having a "real" post ready this week. But what I can do, is catch you up the articles that I have written elsewhere, and also fill you in a bit on what else has been keeping us busy!

You Are Never Going To Believe This

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Heeeelllllooooo everyone!

My gosh, WHERE IS THE TIME GOING?

I feel like these last few months have just run over me; some great, other parts not-so-great, and a few moments have just been insane.

Can we talk about “insane,” for a few minutes here? Because here is something that I cannot even wrap my head around, and I’d love it if you all could join me in shock, awe, and horror:

Set Previous Stage: Do you remember the last time I took my ex to court? It was the 3rd or 4th time we had gone due to his failure to pay child support, and as usual he whined and cried that he was poor, basically homeless, and had not a penny to his name. Then, in a shocking twist, it came out that he was married and had new kids. He begged and pleaded for one more chance to make things right, because his “kids” (not referring to the ones he abandoned) needed him, and the judge bought the whole damn charade.

Set Recent Stage: Last December, after being given another opportunity to stay out of jail and pay down his arrearages, my ex stopped contributing to the kids medical bills, daycare costs, etc, and fell behind on paying child support. I offered him an agreement to get caught up, just so we could stay out of court, he denied it, and I filed a court petition.

Set Current Stage: My ex hired an attorney. Yep! The man cannot afford to pay his child support, yet he can afford an attorney to explain why he shouldn't have to pay child support. Oh but wait! He actually CAN afford support, because after lying on his financial affadavits all these years, after hiring an attorney who has the responsibility to have his client surrender certain financial documents to the other party (us), SURPRISE SURPRISE out comes the truth; the ex and his wife make nearly 100k a year.

You read that right (although at first I didn’t think I had).

You May Have Missed This...

Happy 4th of July! I hope that all of my American friends had a wonderful holiday! My holiday was spent working at a concert beer tent, with the rest of my nonprofit board, and taking the kids to our local fireworks festival. 

It was great!

After that, we spent the day recovering in a friend's pool while her amazing boyfriend BBQ'd for us.

With that being said, no time for a real blog this week! But, I've been pretty busy working over at Yahoo and Babble, and not to puff myself up, but I think these last few weeks have been my favorite in terms of article content.  I've had the opportunity to cover a lot of topics that we discuss on this blog, and really touch on a few issues that are dear to my heart.

Since I know that many of you are strict blog-readers-only and don't follow me on Facebook, I wanted to gather up my favorite articles that have run in other places, and drop them here for you.

Plus, if you don't read the article that I wrote to my husband's new wife, what will be talk about?

I'm Super Excited To Post This!!

As I said a few weeks ago, we FINALLY moved out of the hotel, and back into our home, after a flood displaced us for a while.

It still wasn't quite finished when we moved back in, but we were so ready to get out of the hotel that we didn't even care.

This Is How We Roll...

If you remember from my last post, "Don't Tell Me I'm Losing My Son," I was having a difficult time finding joy amongst The Boy Child's complicated health situation. I felt like I was swimming, and swimming, and I wasn't getting anywhere, except closer to the bottom of the pool.

But, if you also recall, sitting there on the bottom, I realized that I needed a reminder that life is what I make of it.

In keeping with my desire to live intentionally, I looked back over my photos from the last couple of months, and suddenly, I was able to see things in a different light. Yes, there were times when The Guy found himself pulling a wagon, for a child that was too weak to walk, and there were nights when I went out with my friends, only because I knew that I needed to step out of "epilepsy" for a minute and take a breath. But looking back, I was able to see what I hadn't necessarily seen in that moment; joy, family, memories, and life.

I saw us living life, despite the fact that it wasn't always perfect.

So, since you've listened to me cry over the last few posts, I hope that you will join me in this one, while I take you back over the last few weeks to laugh, giggle, and smile with with us, as we live our lives. 

** BIG CHANGE **

Happy Friday!

"I'm so glad I just have a plain head again" the Boy Child said tonight in reference to having the EEG wires removed, and I couldn't agree more! That extended EEG was rough, and his poor head head blistered and welted from something they used on him.

And today, by the time most of you are reading this, I will be sitting in a hospital waiting room while he goes through some testing under anesthesia. Prayers would be appreciated!

Anyway, my reason for this post is to announce a big change.

BIG CHANGE

First off, do not panic.

DO NOT PANIC

I Need A Favor From All Of You

Happy Saturday Everyone!

The Guy and I had a fun little date night last weekend....

So It Ends, And Then It Begins

Happy New Year!!!

Is it just me, or was 2016 really weird? I mean it doesn't compare to the year my husband disappeared and my entire life exploded, but I have to say, this year was a close second.

Or am I missing something and do other people also routinely find their "missing" former spouses living across town with a new wife and kids, and form a semi-relationship with the woman who told him to leave?

Just me?

So anyway, yeah, this year was weird. 

And yes, yay, I got married again, and since I'm sure that you are all sick of hearing about at this point, I will just shut up about that and say that I'm really happy you have all stuck with me this far. 

Thank you.

These last few years in general have been a really crazy, super weird, pretty bumpy ride, and as much as you guys probably sit back and think "can this really all be happening to her?" let me just tell you that I always wonder the exact same thing.

It's a lot, this life. Go big or go home I guess.

Looking back though, I'm not sure that I would change a thing. A lot of things came full circle for me this year, and I'm excited to see where they take me. The Girl Child is having some surgery in a couple of weeks that I'm hoping will make things much easier for her, there are some big changes coming with my nonprofit (details to come!), and I'm working hard to figure out how best to deal with the trauma of my old marriage, when in comes to the future of my new one.

But I'll have time to get into that later, because right now I'd rather relax and recover from last night's party, which was hosted by none other than my Platonic Hubby herself....

.... which couldn't have been complete without a midnight balloon drop for the kids.

Let's Take A Minute To Look At Some Pictures Of Ferrets

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers!! And... Happy November to everyone else! I hope that you all had an AMAZING day! We spent the evening with my Platonic Hubby's family. It was really nice to be able to spend my first married holiday with both my new hubby, and the Platonic Hubby (friend) who has been my side kick for so long. I feel very lucky that The Guy understands that although his family is blood related, that the family I've built for myself is still every bit as much my "family," as his blood relatives are to him.

"Oh my gosh Eden, why are you showing your face now!!??"

I Felt REALLY High

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Hey everyone!

I'm sorry it's been a little quiet around here. As many of you probably know, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and as the founder of a DV organization, October tends to go by in a blur of awareness events, meetings, and speaking engagements, and this year has proved to be no exception!

In fact, I have a speaking engagement in less than two hours and I haven't even written my speech yet! I'm literally sitting in bed, in my underwear, writing this, because I felt bad leaving you all hanging for this long.

Well, That Never Happened

So I've been attempting and failing to get a new blog post out for DAYS now, and I'm finally waving the white flag. Between The Boy Child getting taken down by the stomach flu, The Girl Child getting hit in the face at daycare and needing stitches, a bunch of year end work that needed to be done for the nonprofit, multiple deadlines I've been trying to meet as my (writing) employers close out their year end publishing schedules, and a litany of other ridiculous yet time consuming events that have taken place over the last week, I fold.

Do you hear that universe? I fold, you win! I will never see my sofa again because you win!

Sorry I'm Late

Sorry, I've been lazy, so here's a post that has been building up in my file folder for two months now and I just haven't gotten around to publishing it. I have however, gotten enough emails from readers asking "why haven't you posted any of the free weekend activities that you guys do?" to let me know that I'm slacking.

I also didn't realize that so many of you were using my free weekend activities to spark ideas for your own family, so I apologize for being so delayed. If there is any advice that I can give you, it's to go to your local library, recreation center, and park district office and get the informational booklets that nearly every town publishes on a quarterly basis. The booklet should detail all the events and festivals that will be going on in your area, and most should have the costs listed with the event time information.

Because I have absolutely no money for entertainment and yet I don't want my kids to miss out on their entire childhood, I go through the book and put all the free activities right into my calender so that I can plan ahead for the ones we want to attend.

ANYWAY, I figured this extended holiday weekend would be the perfect time to drop this post's enormity on you because some of you might have a little extra time to get through it all! So jumping back to the end of September and moving forward, here is what has been keeping us busy, free and otherwise.

Good Luck With All Of This

It's the weekend!!!!

Last weekend I updated you on the craziness that has been going on in our life, but geez, I've also been so busy at work (and I'm not even talking about running the nonprofit!). Allow me to update you on a month's worth of articles that I wrote while sitting the waiting room during The Boy Child's therapy, and hopefully it will give you something to do if you are taking it easy this weekend!

Here, have fun combing your way through all of this:

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I rented a human being off of an Internet site, and no, I'm not kidding. It was one of the weirdest things I've ever done and since you all know how strange I am, that's saying a lot. 

"I Tried Renting A Friend And It Was Incredibly Awkward"

As Usual...

As usual, it's been really busy around here and since you guys are always sweet enough to email me and see what we are up to, here's the monthly update!

I've been working insane hours and there's been something else taking up a lot of my time (which we will talk about later this week or early next week), but I've continued to maintain my stance on "No Work Weekends." It hasn't been easy! Just knowing that I have a TON of work that needs to get done makes relaxing on the weekends hard, but I'm determined to remain steadfast in my belief that my priorities are my children and I need to remember that when it comes to deciding where I focus my attention.

Focus your attention on what you most wish to succeed.

So here we are and another month has gone by! First off, Henry has continued to adapt well to the craziness that is our household.

Even though Henry sleeps most of the day, I think he's a little lonely now that The Girl Child has started school for the year. 

What!? Already!? Didn't school just freaking end!? 

Yep, she actually started weeks ago! 

Sick Children, Crazy Ex's, Disowned Family Members, And A Really Creepy Bug!

A friend and I took our kids to the zoo.

The biggest attraction came during lunch when we found a crazy looking caterpillar.

To say that we were interested yet terrified would be the understatement of the century.

At one point my friend got him to cling onto a stick and when she swung him in my direction I must have broken an Olympic record the way I (from a seated position) leapt over our table and escaped to safety.

No freaking way was I about to let that thing touch me!! Even the kids were flipping out as is evidenced by my friend's screaming son.

And This Is What Has Kept Us Busy

So, do you want to know what has been keeping me (and Mr. Attorney Man) busy?

Fighting with my state.

The child support office has STILL been withholding my child support payments, since last August! AN ENTIRE YEAR!!!!!

I don't want to delve into the entire story again, so if you are new to this blog I would suggest clicking here and after you read that one, click here before going on. That should catch you up.

But anyway, yes, so the child support office has continued to withhold my money, which makes absolutely no sense because what they do is based off a court order; a court order that they themselves have entered into the system wrong, but my case worker sucks, and has refused to look at the court order.

I'm not even kidding.

I've called her, Mr. Attorney Man has called her, and all she does is insult us. She told me that "as a little white girl" I should just get a better job and that Mr. Attorney Man shouldn't even have a law license. She then informed us that "you are free to haul my ass into court and I'll tell that judge how to do his job," because she knows that she has governmental immunity.

Legally she is protected and we can't take her to court.

Eventually I went to my state representative, state senator, and house republic leader. I provided them with copies of the court orders and a timeline of what had been going on, and they were FLOORED. They couldn't believe what was going on and made it their personal mission to help me.

Unfortunately they didn't get very far.

How ridiculous.

Because the child support office is protected by government laws, they weren't able to do anything either. We even re-wrote the court order with the child support states attorney and that didn't help.

Finally I went to the newspaper.

When some higher-ups found out about it, things started moving along. 

A conference call took place between Mr. Attorney Man, a big wig at the child support office in my state capital, a political leader, and myself. 

At first the child support big wig was less than pleased to be on the phone with us. In fact his conversation started with "I hear that you have been upset with the way your caseworker is handling the case, but we are well within our rights to be withholding Ms. Strong's money." But as the conversation went on and he realized that he was operating off an invalid court order, and that my caseworker had refused to enter my new order (and all of my issues were based upon the fact that they were erroneously working off of an invalid order), his tune changed quickly.

Everything was handed over to the state's legal department and a week later I received word that the new order was in the system, no more money would be withheld, I would be receiving a check for everything that was wrongly withheld from me, and that my caseworker had been placed on probation.

YAY!!!!

I got a refund check (which I turned around and handed right over to Mr. Attorney Man, boo hiss), but then a week later the stupid child support office defaulted the order in their system back to the wrong one, and they started withholding my money again.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

Three weeks later and I still haven't been able to get anyone to fix it.

I am SO ready to move on from this, not only because it's financially killing me and incredibly stressful, but because I have other things that I would rather be doing!!

In fact, here are a few of the other things that have been keeping me busy:

A few friends and I, including The Platonic Hubby, went to our town's free (I love free!) Patriotic Festival.

A Dance Recital (Fiasco) Update And A Bit Of Bad News

Hi!!

Sorry it's been a bit silent over here.

A project for the nonprofit was sucking up all of my time and as I finally hit the tail end of that, I was slammed with the news that a dear friend of mine (who was also my children's babysitter) died suddenly over the weekend. I'm most definitely not complaining about this being an inconvenience to me, but I've had to change up my week in order to dedicate the attention that she deserves to her funeral and wake. In light of that I just wanted to pop in here and let you guys know why it's been quiet over here and why it might continue to be for the next couple of days.

She was an amazing woman who dearly loved on me and my kids, going above and beyond babysitting by regularly bringing us groceries, meals, or taking us all out for a meal and then somewhere for the kids to play. My children loved her and her husband very much and I'm dreading having to tell the kids that she is gone.

I really don't want to tell them.

As I'm sitting here on the couch I can already feel the emptiness of her missing presence next to me; she was someone who would wait for me to get home at night when she was babysitting, and then rather than leave, she would settle further into the couch so that we could chat.

Please keep not only my family, but also her husband and children in your prayers, she will be unbelievably missed.

Also, I know that you guys have been patiently waiting for me to tell you what I decided to do about The Girl Child's dance recital routine (which I had just found out was wildly inappropriate), and I promise I haven't been ignoring your emails! I've been trying to find the time to write a post about it for days, but as I just explained it's been a bit hectic around here.

So rather than keep you waiting any longer I'm going to void the idea of writing a whole blog post about it and just give you the cliff notes version of what happened:

Oh My Goodness, I Need Advice

Alright, I need some advice.

I have absolutely no idea what to do about a situation with my daughter and a dance class she is in, and you guys are super smart, so please send advice!

My daughter, The Girl Child, has been dancing since she was three.

SO. FREAKING. BUSY!

It's funny how everyone waits for summer to get here so that they can kick back and relax, but then the minute it gets here we all take off running and throw relaxation to the side!

Here's just a snapshot of what the Strong family has been up to:

As I said before, someone graduated 1st grade.

Girl Child and her Teacher
Funny story, Mr. Attorney Man texted me as I was walking to the school to pick her up, and I replied back telling him not to text me again until I gave him the all clear. I wanted to take a video and incoming texts stop the recording!

Which of course meant we had to celebrate that they let us stay until the end of the year.

What better way to kick off summer than with a silly string fight?

Upcoming Surgery This Week

Talk about a whirlwind of a weekend!! Geesh. Is it Friday yet???

Oh no wait. Friday just passed.

Wowzers.

My Friday night ended like this:

A few friends brought tasty things and came over to chill out after a long week, and trust me when I say that it was a LONG week.

Aside from the regular grind of work/school/daycare/dance, I had to spend a little time at the cardiologist. Because I am a medical mutant and there are like 2 other people on the planet besides my kids and I that have the disorder that we have, I spend a lot of time letting doctors and med students analyze me. It really is a great set-up because the doctors get the chance to analyze a Real! Live! Freak! and I get access to medical care that medicaid otherwise wouldn't cover.