The Things You Learn While Sitting In A Cave

The Naperville Salt Cave

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So... I dislocated my elbow, and I don’t even have a good story to tell. No really. I was picking up the laundry basket, and it just popped right out. "What the hell?" right?

Yep.

At least now, two weeks later, it’s looking much better.

Life lately, has been INSANE. I feel like I’m constantly being pulled in a million different directions, and I am one sick day away from my entire schedule collapsing. I know that many of you can relate, so let me ask you, how do you do it?

Because this momma right here, is Worn. Out.

Last Friday night my Bestie and I were trying to make plans to go out for a girl’s night, and we were both so overwhelmed and tired that not a single thing was sounding appealing to us. Suddenly I remembered something that had heard about the week prior....

There's Something I Need To Tell You (Part Two)

If you haven't read Part One of this post, I highly, highly suggest clicking here and doing so first, as this is the second half of a story that really needs the first half in order to make sense!

If that just seems like much too much work, the super quick synopsis is that shortly after my ex left, another man came into my life and "married" me in a wedding that was not even legal.

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A week later, after he had “married" me, he moved in; something that he had wanted to do for a really long time, and something that I had been very resistant to since we hadn't been married. Yet upon his arrival as my co-dweller, to my horror, he proclaimed that he wouldn’t be paying any bills, or helping to clean (since it was my house and not his), that I would be doing most of the cooking since I was his wife, and that although he was excited to start working on fathering another "genetic offspring," that he would no longer be helping to raise my kids since they weren't his.

And I, maybe for the first time, truly found my voice, when I put my foot down and said “no.”

The next night, while I was at work, I got a call from my babysitter who was concerned because The Helper was “moving a lot of stuff out of your house.” I raced home to find him loading his car with not only his belongings, but also mine, my children’s, and the wedding gifts that we had received the week before.

I fell to the grass on my knees and begged him not to go.

It’s one of the most shameful moments of my life, and one that haunted my dreams for years to come; the moment I graveled at the feet of the man who had been scamming me.

Eight Months Later...

So... I just realized that it's been like EIGHT MONTHS since I did one of those "and this is what we've been up to" posts. 

What the hell Eden, pull it together! 

With that being said, I just went back through my photo files from the last few months and I'm here to update all of you in a fashion that can only be described as "overwhelming."

For that, I apologize.

I know that a lot of you were relying on me to describe the free or low cost activities that we attend so that you could look for similar things in your area, and I completely dropped the ball! For that I really am sorry. Life just kind of got away from me and I'm going to back up that explanation by taking you all the way back to December and showing you how we have spent our weekends.

We started out the holidays by attending a free local Winter Wonderland thing with my kids, The Guy, and My Platonic Hubby and her family...

Can I just take a moment to brag about how The Girl Child has not gotten THREE years out of this dress? I'm impressed.

Because Tomorrow Will Be Tomorrow

I went shopping for my daughter today.

I honestly can't remember the last time that I went shopping to buy my kids anything other than groceries, but today, today I went for something else.

And I didn't really have the money for this, so I'm sure that I'll be kicking myself about it next week, but for once in my life, I'm choosing not to think about next week.

Today I was thinking about today, and today I wanted to do this.

So for all of you that are going to leave me hateful comments and send me nasty emails about how I shouldn't be eating at the food pantry and spending my money on "frivolous" things, well, I'm sorry, but today I'm not going to care, because today I needed to care about something else.

I needed to care about the daughter that proclaimed it "the best day ever!" and the little girl who wanted to be just like her friends. Today I cared about making her smile, and today I did that.

I shopped the clearance racks and went to multiple stores in order to be able to get everything that I needed within the budget that I'd set, but I didn't buy anything used.

And it was fun. It was fun for me because I've shoved the desire to go shopping for cute girly things so far down my priority list that I feared I might never actually get to have that motherhood experience, but more than that it was fun because my daughter knew, that what I had gotten her was new.

And for a kid whose mom never buys her anything new, that made her feel special, which is great, because today I wanted nothing more than for her to feel special.

Sorry I'm Late

Sorry, I've been lazy, so here's a post that has been building up in my file folder for two months now and I just haven't gotten around to publishing it. I have however, gotten enough emails from readers asking "why haven't you posted any of the free weekend activities that you guys do?" to let me know that I'm slacking.

I also didn't realize that so many of you were using my free weekend activities to spark ideas for your own family, so I apologize for being so delayed. If there is any advice that I can give you, it's to go to your local library, recreation center, and park district office and get the informational booklets that nearly every town publishes on a quarterly basis. The booklet should detail all the events and festivals that will be going on in your area, and most should have the costs listed with the event time information.

Because I have absolutely no money for entertainment and yet I don't want my kids to miss out on their entire childhood, I go through the book and put all the free activities right into my calender so that I can plan ahead for the ones we want to attend.

ANYWAY, I figured this extended holiday weekend would be the perfect time to drop this post's enormity on you because some of you might have a little extra time to get through it all! So jumping back to the end of September and moving forward, here is what has been keeping us busy, free and otherwise.

As Usual...

As usual, it's been really busy around here and since you guys are always sweet enough to email me and see what we are up to, here's the monthly update!

I've been working insane hours and there's been something else taking up a lot of my time (which we will talk about later this week or early next week), but I've continued to maintain my stance on "No Work Weekends." It hasn't been easy! Just knowing that I have a TON of work that needs to get done makes relaxing on the weekends hard, but I'm determined to remain steadfast in my belief that my priorities are my children and I need to remember that when it comes to deciding where I focus my attention.

Focus your attention on what you most wish to succeed.

So here we are and another month has gone by! First off, Henry has continued to adapt well to the craziness that is our household.

Even though Henry sleeps most of the day, I think he's a little lonely now that The Girl Child has started school for the year. 

What!? Already!? Didn't school just freaking end!? 

Yep, she actually started weeks ago! 

Another Look Inside My Phone

I was clearing out the texts and emails on my phone the other day and I realized that it had been a while since I had given you a peek in here, so eh, why not? 

For some reason none of my computer editing software allows me to crop screen shots so please excuse the haphazard sloppy pics, it was the best I could do unless I cropped them all on my phone and quite frankly, I don't have that much time, especially when I've been busy dealing with things like this:

Speaking of problems, let's talk about autocorrect problems. #itsarealthing

I'm the ugly peach color speech bubbles!

Sometimes though, I can't even blame autocorrect for the stupid shit I say. For example, I try and message each of my nonprofit board members every couple of weeks just to tell them that I hope they have a great day. Well this particular board member texted back saying thank you and that I was "incredible." Here is my total failure in replying back.

And So The Adventure Begins!

This past month and a half has been a whirlwind to say the least. I'm not sure I have ever felt as far behind on... everything, as I have in the last few weeks, but overall I have to say that things have (finally) been going fairly well in a lot of ways.

First off, after Mr. Attorney Man put in hours upon hours of phone calls (I'd be lost without him), and I myself called my state representative, my state senator, and every other number I could get my hands on, the child support office finally got my paperwork fixed about 80% of the way. It's still not perfect, but at this point I'll take it.

With that I set about working to get my benefits reinstated. The Child Care office came through like a champ, and food stamps weren't far behind. They only reinstated me at about 80% of my original benefits because of the continued error with the Child Support Office, but hey, 80% is better than 0!

I Don't Recommend Getting A Tongue Tattoo

Was it just me or was April insanely busy?

Aside from the daily grind of work/dance/school/daycare/, we also spent several weekends in a row at Easter festivals. I say Easter festival and not egg hunt because these days you go for the hunt but then you stay for the games. I really don't remember having anything like this when I was younger, but now it seems like every egg hunt has bounce houses, rides, games, prizes, face painting, and food, and the best part is that they are all free!

 Platonic Husband's real hubby

So yes, we did many of them.

The Platonic Husband, her family, and I were there to see The Girl Child find the golden egg at one hunt, meaning she got a crappy prize, which at 6yrs old pretty much feels like you have won the lottery.

I Would Like To Introduce You To My Real Life Friends

Trust me,  you are going to want to read this one through to the end....

It was almost exactly a year ago when I started this journey with you all. The blog went up in October but it wasn't until Dec 23rd that my first article ran and a lot of you found me.

I was about to pull out of the parking lot at the grocery store when all of a sudden my blog email inbox started up with messages. Now I'm not saying 1 or 2 came in, I'm talking about several hundred within the first hour. I'm a little dull so I'm sitting there thinking "who the heck are all these people and how has my blog suddenly become the place to hang out?"

Now mind you I put up this blog and I told no one. There is obviously no family to tell, I didn't tell any of my friends, I just put it up and went along my merry little way, writing for myself and anyone else who cared to read. For all intents and purposes I had walked into the middle of the forest that is the Internet, stuck a twig in the ground, and suddenly thousands of people were noticing that one tiny twig.

8,000 people that day to be exact and I had no idea who any of them were.

I drove home, pulled up the blog, looked at the traffic reader, and realized that an article I had submitted to XOJane 7 weeks prior had published that morning and people were now pouring into my blog from there. 

It was about then that the enormity of what I had done became apparent. I had told the entire world that I had disowned my family and then they followed me here where I proceeded to tell them that my husband was abusive and I had been raped.

Because that's not scary at all....

Make It Count

I have a best friend that has the same name as me. She parents almost exactly like me, even has her kids on nearly the same diet as mine. We shopped for maternity clothes together and when it came time to have our sons baptized, she stood in front of the church and led the congregation in prayer over my son and then I did the same for hers. I spent last Christmas with her side of the family and Halloween with her husband’s side. I feel more a part of their extended families than I have ever felt with my own family. Our schedules are different, our lives are hectic, I don’t see her as often as I would like, but that doesn’t change the way I feel about her. I trust her with my life and above that, I trust her with my children’s lives.

There are no two things more certain about me than the fact that I love my children and that I trust almost no one.

Last week I finalized my will and in the event of my death I left her the custody of my children.

Just weeks after my ex left, she came to me and I will never forget what she said. She said “Eden, I know this is weird and I don’t want to put you in a strange position and if you want to say no I will completely understand and this won’t change anything between us (she was rambling), but I wanted you to know that XXX (her husband) and I have been praying about this, we have talked to both of our families, and I want you to know, and you can say no and I won’t be offended, but if anything were to happen to you we would love to take your children.”

It was so awkward that I made some sort of joke about the fact that I have cute children and if I said “yes” was she going to kill me?