Where In The World Are You Reading From?

    **************************************

    Hi Not My Shame readers!! Whether it's leaving the stigma of an abusive past behind, supporting each other in our current rough situations, or just showing up for a good laugh, it has been amazing for me to get to know all of you. I would love to know where you are reading from, so if you wouldn't mind please take a minute and leave your location in the comments section of this page. Let's see how far our message of healing is spreading! 


    **************************************

    Anonymous January 13, 2014 at 10:01 PM

    mandeville,la

    You don't know how much your kind words mean to me, especially on the days where I struggle and wonder if anything will come of my broken life. Blessings and hugs to you in Connecticut


    • olympia, washington


    • Brisbane, Australia


    • Lund, Sweden

    • Found your blog a while ago. I haven't been trough anything like you but I have to say, wow! You are an incredibly amazing person! Found you trough xojane , do not regret going in here!


    • Sidmouth, Devon, England!

    • I love sitting and reading my email when I have a new post to catch up on. I cannot believe some of the people you have to put up with in your life - I thought I had it bad but your strength continues to give me strength!


    • Kansas, Kansas City area

    • The neighbors, the neighbors, ahhhh, the neighbors! You ARE doing the right thing with your approach though I will admit that I wish I could supernatually reach through the pages of your blog and throttle both of them! But while I really never truly wish bad on those types of people, I have generally found that in the end their spite and hatefulness comes back at them. Some of them even learn from it and turn into better people! Let's hope your neighbors have an awakening. Just know you are a good woman (don't think I could have continued shoveling when that A**hole walked into the garage!)!


      • Yay, Kansas! I hope its warmer by you than it is here! I hope they learn from it, or something, because my gosh, my will power is being tested! I can't believe how outright mean people can be. Which really shouldn't suprise me at all seeing as how my life is filled with mean people, but I can't even fathom treating someone like that. Craziness.


    • hailing from Stamford, Connecticut.

    • Thank you so much for writing this blog. you really are something incredible. (not LITERALLY incredible, like some people seem to think. can't understand why anyone's reaction to reading your posts would be "...nah, I don't believe her."). reading your words and stories fills me with hope. that sounds totally corny, but it's true. I'm a sexual assault survivor who has been mightily struggling with my trauma these past few years. your going through all the things that you have and coming out on the other side with an attitude and perspective like you have is nothing short of heroic, in my opinion. you have thrown me into a few serious realizations about the nature of trauma and the self. thank you so much.


      • Hi there!! I'm so sorry that you have had some troubles of your own, but so happy you are here :) I don't know about heroic, but it warms my heart to hear that you have found a place that you can relate. 

      • You don't know how much your kind words mean to me, especially on the days where I struggle and wonder if anything will come of my broken life. Blessings and hugs to you in Connecticut



    • Revere Massachusetts, not nearly as close to the ocean as I use to. Sadly it is not possible to pay medical bills and a mortgage. I blog Steps from the beach which I don't post enough in, and I am going to start posting again. I hope.


    • Girl you know you are a MUCH stronger person than I could ever be. I couldn't say I could have gone and helped the neighbor with their shoveling much less continued after he sits his lazy butt down in the garage. Wonder just what kind of blood runs thru such ruthless people like that. 

    • NLR, Arkansas....and yes, it is MUCH warmer here than it is your way! I am wearing a pair of shorts today! lol It's supposed to get colder in the next few days tho.

    • I am one that would have caved had my male friend decided that he was inlove with me, which is why I have had so many stupid relationships. I couldn't hurt them although in the end it probably hurt them even more so than had I stopped it just as you did. I'm an idiot! lol

    • Gotta say tho...seems I have learned so much in these last few months than I have ever when it comes to getting to know myself and finally liberating myself from thinking I HAVE to be in a relationship. You would think after 48 years of being on this earth I would have known all this by now. Yeah...I'm a slow learner of such matters. HA!
    • I am so glad you and I are friends, I love ya girlee girl!

      • NotMyShameToBear

      • I want warm weather and shorts too!!!

      • You are getting your strength my dear, you are getting there :)




      • Salt Lake City, Utah!


      • I'm reading this from Melbourne Australia. I'm very happy that you have this blog to talk about your life and to process what has happened to you but I have to say that it hurts my heart to see that we can fail the most vulnerable in our society in such a spectacular way. Good luck to you in your recovery and I think it's a win that you haven't heard from the ex MIL. I nearly cheered out loud when I read your original post about her!
      • I thought that I had posted previously on a different post but can't see it so maybe it didn't publish. I recommended picking up Gavin de Becker's book "The Gift of Fear". It's an incredible read for anyone who has survived sexual assault or domestic violence and it will help you to learn when someone is being predatory or not acting in your best interests. I recommend it to all my girl friends as we as women are continually taught to ignore our intuition so that we aren't "rude" or "bitchy". I think that perhaps you more so due to your abusive childhood as you had that instinct of self protection completely trained/beaten out of you.

      • Regards,

      • Nicole in Melbourne


        • I love that you nearly cheered during the MIL post, that is awesome lol! I will definitely check out that book, thank you for the recommendation. I definitely could use some skills in reading people, I always miss when I am being preyed on. Everything you said in the last few sentences made me go "Huh. I never thought about that before." And THAT is why I love my readers! You guys are so smart :)


      • Chicago, IL. You are inspiring. I think it's amazing that despite everything you have been through, you have been able to maintain such a positive attitude and outlook.




    • Cambridge, England

    • Thank you for writing this :)


    • I'm in Tallahassee, FL. And I am totally posting your blog address on Facebook. You are amazing. Xoxo

    • Brix from xojane


    • Gothenburg, Sweden. It's been a while since I read your blog because of some personal things I'm going through, so i may be a bit late to the party ;)

    • What you said in another post about being strong so that others don't see through the cracks just hit home to me, I didn't know how to explain it before but you gave me words to, thank you so much for that. I think it's amazing to see how you can still laugh when weird things happen to you, it's such an important thing, and I'm really happy to see you haven't lost that which many others who have been through similar things have lost. Yes, we do all break down at times and that's not a bad thing, we have to let the tears out to make room for other feelings.

    • I'm sorry if I seem to jump from here to there a bit in this comment, too many things I want to say and not all of them coming out right! But thank you for sharing your story, it's amazing to read.


      • You're never to late for the party, you just made a fashionably late entrance :)
      • Thank you for your sweet words, and I'm glad that you found something here that you could relate too. It makes it feel a lot less lonely, doesn't it?

      • I hope to see you around here often, it makes me feel less lonely getting to know all of you!


    • Tehran, Iran


    • Hi!

    • First of all you are very brave. Everytime i read your blog it give me strength and some thing (i dont know some energy) started growing inside me :-).
    • and i am from india, currently leaving in Riyadh, saudi arabia.

    • So thank you for such wonderful blog.


    • Just realized I missed this one! Columbia, Maryland reporting in! Two+ hours from the beach and two+ hours from the mountains with a bit - no, a LOT - of bipolar weather thrown in!

    • Looks like your writing is far reaching with helping and healing! It takes a really excellent communicator to connect so deeply - and that is YOU!! How very cool!

    • Much love and many hugs from the east coast


      • Wow, that sounds like a great place to live!! Bipolar weather and all lol!
      • Thank you for your sweet words. You guys make me feel all giddy and smiley like a little kid haha.

      • Hugs!!


    • toronto, ontario, canada. about your crappy neighbours...take them to small claims court. seriously. they owe you the money and the relationship is already over. nothing to lose there.


      • Canada represent!! You know I looked into it but it was $300 just to file, and they don't owe me much more than that. Ugh so frustrating. I was joking that I was going to steal their tires and engine parts one night and sell them on the black market. If only I was that mean.


    • São Paulo, São Paulo, Brazil. I found one link for your blog in a facebook post of a Brazilian friend. :)

    • And... about your neighbours, my dad says that when someone doesn't talk with us due a stupid thing or motive, they are doing us a favor to not speak with us at all. If they are not decent to pay what they owe you, or if they don't have any kind of basic human regard or respect with another human being, you don't need them, and they definetely don't deserve to have you as a friend.


      • Welcome from Brazil!! So cool that the link was on facebook :) It is so much fun seeing how far across the world this has gone! Thank you for commenting :)

      • Your dad sounds like a very smart man. Thank you for sharing his advice with me, I needed it!


    • Hi!

    • I have been reading your blog for a little time and really enjoying it. Its not just the essence of what you are writing and your personality but also your writing style that I love. Thank you for sharing!

    • Athens-Greece


      • Aw, thank you for your sweet words!! I'm so glad you have found your way here. Welcome to the blog!

      • I have ALWAYS wanted to see Athens. I'm a little bit jealous of you right now :)


    • Heidelberg, Germany


    • Chandler, AZ.

    • Your neighbors are insane and if I lived anywhere near you I would let my dog poop on their lawn daily.

    • I think writing this blog is a form of therapy/release for you? Down the line what do you plan on telling the kids about your family? Just curious, you don't have to answer. :)


      • Can I borrow your dog? ;) Because they let theirs go all over my lawn. Ugh.
      • My son is too young to understand, but my five year old daughter, I tell her that sometimes people make mean choices and do mean things that hurt people. When that happens, if you tell them that they are hurting you and they still don't stop, that its ok to not be around them anymore. I never tell her that my family or her dad is a bad person, I just say that they made some mean choices that hurt me.

      • They are her DNA so I don't want her thinking that she has "evil" in her.


      • I am divorced as well with a 5 year old and 3 year old and sometimes I find it hard to answer their questions. Single mom life is tough. Sounds like you do have some good friends, so just remember they are there because you are awesome and deserving. They wouldn't be there if you weren't.


      • Thank you hun :)

      • I agree, answering their questions is hard, and it sucks!! My daughter asked me "mommy, will any daddy ever want to love me?" Breaks my heart :(

      • So glad you are here :)


    • I'm from Chile. Your blog is amazing, I read all your entries and I just wanted to tell you I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you because you are trying, trying to heal, trying to be positive regardless of circumstances, and because you are sharing your story. And just by doing that you are bringing a little happiness to the world. So keep this up, because it’s AWESOME. :)


      • Chile!!! Thank you so much :) That means the world to me! I am trying lol. Can't say for sure if I'm getting anywhere, but I'm trying!

      • I'm so greatful and thankful that all of you are reading and sharing in my journey. Its so healing and supportive to have all of you alongside of me. :)

      • So THANK YOU for being awesome!! Welcome to the blog, sending you a hug!


    • Hi!

    • I am from Latvia. :)

    • I was shocked to read that You are here for only about 90 days, because I feel like You're an inspiration for me soooo much longer, like some 2 years at least! I often feel like Your blog posts with Your value system in every single one of them are like little, shining road signs for all the people trying to grow out of darkness in their lives or just get better, and I feel very grateful to You for that.

    • Take care and have a great day!


      • That is so sweet of you to say! Thank you so much :) I'm just so thankful to have all of you guys here with me! It makes me even happier to hear that the blog is helping you out :)

      • I actually had to look up where Latvia is. Haha! Yay Latvia! Welcome to the blog, and thank you for sharing where you are from. It is SO FUN to see all the countries that are here!!


    • A little town called Fairfield, in the beautiful state of Maine :)


    • New Orleans, Louisiana here!


    • Found you through a random comment on Time Magazines site and I have to say, your blog is blowing me away. May you persevere and seriously, your neighbors are absolute douchebags. Don't even bother wasting your time. But if that guys gets nasty again and threatens you, hold your phone up and ask him to repeat it louder. That should shut him the hell up.

    • Long Valley, NJ


    • Hi, I'm from Singapore and I found your blog through XO Jane. I'm really proud of you and look forward to reading your blog all the time.


    • Vail, CO here. :) And let me just say you are helping so many by writing this blog. My experiences are similar to yours. And for some reason I will never understand, it seems as though most abused/neglected kids dont want to share their stories. A quick search of the net will almost exclusively produce nothing but parents looking for support. Where are all us kids? We need support too. So, let me just say Thank You! I appreciate you.


      • CO! I have some friends that own a farm there, the pictures they post are just beautiful.

      • That is really interesting about the google search, I never knew that. I appreciate all of your for being on this journey with me, for making me feel brave when I feel like I'm fallling apart. You all rock my world :)


      • Well if your ever in my neighborhood look me up. I have 12 year old who took babysitting classes and he is desperate for some babysitting gigs. Come in the summertime! It is amazing. :)


      • That would be awesome :)


    • Charlotte, NC.

    • I followed over here from xojane. I admire your bravery!


    • Alberta, Canada. You are one brave lady! Respect.


    • Sending you love & happiness all the way from Johannesburg, South Africa! xo


    • Cambridgeshire, England : ). You are a true inspiration x


    • Sending you lots of love and hope. Keep being awesome!


    • Hi from Italy! Or, as we say here: ciao!


    • Chicago, IL

    • New reader, found you through MFA Mama's blog.


    • I found your blog through a post on Scary Mommy last night and spent most of my evening in work reading from beginning to here. I've already started recommending you and posted the link in my blogger group on Facebook, and now instead of going to sleep after night shift, I'm still reading. I won't say you're inspirational because you said (and it was an interesting perspective that makes a lot of sense) that that puts a hell of a lot of pressure on you, but I will say that you should be very, very proud of yourself for not only surviving, but doing so with a panache and style that makes you stand out from the crowd.

    • Huge respect coming to you from me in Barcelona, Spain (originally from Liverpool, England. Yes, like the Beatles).


      • Welcome to the blog!! Thank you for sharing my page, I really appreciate it!!
      • Thank you so much for your sweet words :) Too funny about the Beatles! I would LOVE to visit Spain someday, seems so beautiful.

      • Thank you so much for taking the time to read through the entire blog! I love having new readers and I can't wait to get to know you :)

      • *hugs*


    • Newton, Ks.

    • Found you through scary mommy. I will share on my fb page. I'm going to be starting my life over soon and you give me hope that I can do it and have a better life. Nothing as hard as what you've gone through, just a cheating husband who might turn nasty once I tell him I want a divorce. Anyways thanks for sharing your story!


      • I'm sorry to hear that you are also dealing with an "oh so fun" ex. You can do it! It often gets harder before it gets easier, but in the end you will be surprised at how wonderful it can be. I'm here for you if you ever need to chat.

      • Thanks so much for sharing the page!!


    • I discovered your blog last week (on Blogher), and have been slowly catching up from oldest to newest.

    • I'm reading from Saskatchewan, Canada.


      • Yay Canada! I've never been, but I heard it's cold ;)

      • Oh and P.S., I have a few million geese I would like to return to you :)

      • I'm glad you found your way here, welcome!! I love chatting with my readers so I'm glad you said hi!

    • *hugs*


    • Well, I'll try to comment more as I continue reading. Thanks for the response. I forgot to tell you, the comment you made at the start about footsie pjs, wine, and popcorn? That's my profile pic for google plus (and probably on my blog), minus the popcorn! Footsie PJs are the best (perfect for cold Canadian days).

    • And - you can keep the geese, haha!


    • Haha!!! Nice!! Great minds think alike! We are setting the new style trends :)
    • Oh come on, I've got the sucky family, the awful ex, the special needs kid, TAKE THE DAMN GEESE BACK.

    • hehe ;)


    • I can't argue with that. Send 'em my way.


      • Chicago, IL!..I'm a little late to the game here. I stumbled upon your blog though a yahoo article and now just trying to get caught up to the present day :) Thank you for your honest reflection and strong sense of self. It is appreciated.




    Meadville, Nebraska



    Welcome!


    New York, NY



    Awesome! Thanks for sharing!


    Minneapolis MN



    Welcome to the blog :)

    *hugs*

       Staci October 30, 2014 at 11:46 AM

    Poolville, Texas


    Texas!! I would love to live in Texas. I have good friends in Dallas. Such a neat area. I like Nashville, but I'll take anywhere warmer than here!


       Anonymous November 22, 2014 at 8:25 AM

    Orange County, New York




    New Yorker!! I wonder if it's as cold there as it is here!

     Robyn  November 25, 2014 at 6:28 AM

    Fort Worth, Texas :) Love your blog, cannot get enough!


     NotMyShametoBear  January 9, 2015 at 9:32 AM

    Well aren't you and your southern charm so sweet :) Thank you!!

    *hugs*



     Anonymous  January 11, 2015 at 12:34 PM

    I googled I disowned my mother and came across your blog. Montreal, Canada here.



     Anonymous  February 5, 2015 at 3:43 PM

    los angeles, ca


     NotMyShametoBear  March 7, 2015 at 9:57 PM

    I am very jealous of your weather right now, it's freezing here!!


     liftinglucy  February 17, 2015 at 1:09 PM

    pittsburgh pa!


     NotMyShametoBear  March 7, 2015 at 9:57 PM

    Welcome!!!

    *HUGS*

202 comments:

  1. UnknownSeptember 28, 2014 at 2:26 AM

    Salt Lake City, Utah but I was born in Uruguay. (yes, I'm Mormon)

    I wonder if you've gotten someone who lives where you live by now and you're like *sweats nervously*. Hah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 18, 2014 at 7:30 PM

      Haha! Love that you automatically point out that you are Mormon. Too funny!

      Delete
  2. VickyOctober 18, 2014 at 11:05 AM

    Townsville, Australia. Same state as anonymous, you can catch us both with one trip. Just to state the obvious (which I know you know, but others may not) having an abusive family makes us much more vulnerable to rape and domestic violence and rotten relationships generally. I've had all of that plus workplace bullying and ostracism. Kudos to you for putting your life story out there. xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 18, 2014 at 7:33 PM

      Thank you for sharing the info! It's always helpful to remind people. People like us need to be cognizant and remember that no matter how well we feel like we are doing, we still need to be hyper aware of the people we choose to place in our lives.

      Thank you for reading!!

      Delete
  3. AnonymousOctober 18, 2014 at 3:01 PM

    Sweden!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. AmandaOctober 19, 2014 at 8:31 PM

    Perth, Western Australia <3

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousOctober 19, 2014 at 9:19 PM

    Trinidad and Tobago, West Indies

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 29, 2014 at 10:56 PM

      I think that makes you the second person from there, how neat!! Thank you for commenting!!

      :)

      Delete
  6. AnonymousOctober 23, 2014 at 7:38 PM

    Love you Eden!!

    All the way from India!

    ReplyDelete
  7. JennaOctober 26, 2014 at 3:56 AM

    Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines. I absolutely love your blog. I swear I'm stalking it. Oh, and sorry for the touchy-ish question, but did you ever self-harm? Stay strong, wish you the best!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 29, 2014 at 10:55 PM

      Welcome!!!! I did actually, check out the post "Back When I Was A Cutter." It's in the month of May. :)

      Delete
  8. Meredith in SAOctober 29, 2014 at 4:59 PM

    San Antonio, Texas

    I discovered your blog a few days ago and have been devouring each post starting from the beginning. Your past may be heartbreaking, but your spirit, determination, and humor are sustenance for the soul. Thank you for sharing your awesome self with the world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 29, 2014 at 10:53 PM

      Aw, what a sweet compliment, thank you!!!! I'm so glad you found your way here :)

      Delete
  9. AnonymousMarch 6, 2015 at 2:00 PM

    Kent, United Kingdom (originally from Sydney, Australia)

    Only discovered your site today from a Facebook article. WOW you write the truth Eden!!!

    I was abused by my brother at 13, assaulted at 18. Finally told my Mum at 25 what happened. Spent years of counselling to deal with these issues. Finally accepted that I was NOT to blame.

    Am in the process of divorcing my husband for domestic abuse. Finally having the strength to speak up and not feel ashamed. For over 12 years my son & I have been manipulated and emotionally tortured by a man who supposedly wanted us to be family. We have decided to move out and are also planning to return to Australia later this year, once the divorce is completed.

    Feel I am becoming stronger, a true survivor and do believe the world is a good place.

    There is so much support now for emotional abuse, which is wonderful.

    Keep on blogging, you are amazing!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearMarch 7, 2015 at 9:56 PM

      Aw, I am SO proud of you for speaking up and for doing what it takes to make the necessary changes in your life. You are awesome!!! I'm so glad you found your way here and I look forward to traveling this journey with you :)

      *hugs*

      Delete
  10. UnknownMay 15, 2015 at 10:49 AM

    Gray, TN

    Thank you for everything you post; I hope you know that you really are making a difference for people, including me. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearJune 16, 2015 at 1:45 PM

      AW!! How incredibly sweet. Thank you, that is really nice to hear :)

      *hugs*

      Delete
  11. AnonymousMay 21, 2015 at 10:21 AM

    Hickory, NC (and even later to the blog). Got here last week (found it after reading an article or two elsewhere) and although I read a few of the most recent, I decided to go back and start at the beginning last week to better understand the context.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousJune 9, 2015 at 10:26 AM

    White Plains NY!

    ReplyDelete
  13. ecowfer13June 14, 2015 at 2:02 AM

    Currently Simi (sometimes called Sleazy) Valley, CA, but soon (thanks to new jobs and an awesome relocation package) Portland, OR.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearJune 14, 2015 at 5:49 PM

      Ha! How funny. I have friends that live in Portland. Seems like such a neat city. And yay for the awesome relocation package!! Jealous!

      Delete
  14. AnonymousJune 15, 2015 at 12:00 AM

    Chicago! Not as cool/fancy as other places. You are a very brave woman! You encourage me to be strong with all the trials I am currently facing. The best of wishes for you and your lovely children.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearJune 16, 2015 at 1:45 PM

      The Windy City!

      Welcome!! Whatever you are going through, you can do it :)

      *hugs*

      Delete
  15. AnonymousJune 29, 2015 at 12:14 PM

    Eau Claire, WI

    ReplyDelete
  16. UnknownJuly 8, 2015 at 6:21 AM

    El Paso Texas,

    I have been reading your blog for a bout a week and i think its admirable that you are using your situation to help others. I wish I had the ability to help others the way you are doing.

    Always the best to you,
    Nikki

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearJuly 12, 2015 at 10:55 PM

      Texas!! That's always been a state I'd love to live in :)

      Thank you for your sweet words. You don't need ability, just motivation. Nothing special about me!

      *hugs*

      Delete
  17. AnonymousJuly 10, 2015 at 6:50 AM

    Just read your blog from July 9. You can be alright even if that day you're not OK. You have no idea how badly I needed to hear that. Please don't stop blogging and helping people. I'm In North Carolina, USA.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearJuly 12, 2015 at 10:54 PM

      I'm glad it meant something to you :) You will be alright, even if right now you're not OK. Thanks for taking the time to let me know you are here!

      Delete
  18. WhatKateDidNextAugust 15, 2015 at 11:34 PM

    Hey Eden, the box is in the right place!! I'm reading from the Land Down Under after a West Coast friend directed me to you! I am currently resident on the East Coast near Byron Bay but in reality I'm all over the place really. Eden is the name of another of my favourite bloggers, Edenland, so that seems like a good sign too!! Thank you for sharing x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WhatKateDidNextAugust 15, 2015 at 11:34 PM

      Woohoo!! Victory!!

      Delete
    2. NotMyShametoBearAugust 16, 2015 at 10:24 PM

      Yay!! I'm glad I fixed it, thanks for letting me know!! I SOOOOO want to go to "the Land Down Under!!!"

      I am going to have to check out that other blog now! I am glad you found your way here though ;)

      *hugs*

      Delete
  19. AnonymousAugust 16, 2015 at 3:53 PM

    GREETINGS FROM ROMEOVILLE, ILLINOIS....THE MOST AVERAGE PLACE IN AMERICA LOL. nO, REALLY ITS GREAT PLACE TO LIVE AND I LOVE IT HEREEEEEE!!! EVEN IF IT ISNT AS FAR AWAY AND FANCY AS SOME READERS, IT IS HOME AND I LOVE IT. WHEREVER YOU ARE I HOPE ITS BEAUTIFUL :)
    PEACE LOVE AND LIGHT-NESS, LEANNE

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearAugust 16, 2015 at 10:25 PM

      Welcome to the blog!! You don't need to be from anywhere fancy to make me smile :)

      Thanks so much for chiming in!!

      *hugs*

      Delete
  20. AnonymousAugust 25, 2015 at 7:42 PM

    Seoul, South Korea~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearAugust 26, 2015 at 8:33 PM

      I think you might be my first from South Korea! Welcome and thanks so much for commenting!!!

      *hugs*

      Delete
  21. Abhishek KumarSeptember 4, 2015 at 5:20 AM

    Singapore!
    I stumbled on your blog like 5 minutes ago from this website called xoJane. When I read that article on xoJane I wanted to say that life is full of ups and downs, but DO NOT ever give up. Push on, Push further, Push higher.

    ReplyDelete
  22. AnonymousSeptember 8, 2015 at 8:20 AM

    I'm in El Paso Texas. I found your blog yesterday. I tested your link to my best friend as I don't Facebook and I don't blog.
    I tried logging in to comment but I don't have access for whatever reason.
    nikki

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearSeptember 13, 2015 at 11:29 AM

      I love Texas, I'd love to move there :)

      Well in whatever form you comment, I'm happy to have you here Nikki

      *hugs*

      Delete
  23. BubbaSeptember 8, 2015 at 8:28 AM

    Santa Cruz, Bolivia.
    Better late than never :) Starting from the beginning...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearSeptember 13, 2015 at 11:28 AM

      Bolivia!!! Awesome!!!

      Good luck making your way through all these posts from the beginning!

      *hugs*

      Delete
  24. Carey HSeptember 11, 2015 at 11:05 AM

    Austin, Texas. I am blown away by your writing. Just found you today but I hope you won't mind if I stick around. Love to you from Austin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearSeptember 13, 2015 at 11:28 AM

      Please stick around, it's why we are all here! So glad you found your way here :)


      *hugs*

      Delete
  25. UnknownSeptember 11, 2015 at 11:08 AM

    I read your IHTM on xojane and came straight over to your blog! I'm captivated with your writing, and your honesty. It won't be my last visit. Reading from Barbados, W. I.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearSeptember 13, 2015 at 11:27 AM

      Well aren't you just too sweet!! Thank you so very much!!

      I'm glad you will be visiting often :)

      *hugs*

      Delete
  26. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2015 at 12:42 PM

    Hunt Valley, Maryland

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearSeptember 13, 2015 at 11:26 AM

      Welcome!!! Thanks for taking the time to comment!

      *hugs*

      Delete
  27. UnknownSeptember 22, 2015 at 5:12 AM

    Barcelona, Spain. I only found your blog a few weeks ago and am reading my way through every post a few a day. I feel like I know you... and feel like I would like to give you a massive hug and a holiday,,, unfortunately things are tight for us too but if I ever win the lottery be sure that I will be sending some of it your way super mum!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearSeptember 24, 2015 at 12:44 PM

      Hahaha!! That would be awesome!! I'm happy to have a new reader and I hope to see you around! Thank you for letting me know where you are reading from :)

      Delete
  28. AnonymousOctober 10, 2015 at 12:41 PM

    Hello Eden! I enjoyed reading your Yahoo Parenting article: I May Have to Feed My Kids at a Soup Kitchen, But I Don’t Regret Anything About My Life. Please allow me to share a Fathers Story with you.
    Back in 1999 I came home to find out my wife was having an affair with a neighbor. Several years after our divorce, she lied to the courts and left State with our two children. Although there was a court order for contact, she decided I did not need to contact them, and essentially removed me from their lives. For many years I searched for them and went to many court hearings to try to find them. Every Judge I went in front of was no help to my case. (The Judges were all men!) In my final desperate attempt to find my children, My new wife and I went to family court again. This time, the presiding Judge was new and was female. The Judge listened to my case and after my appeal, she apologized for the States inadequate managing of my case. The Judge immediately returned full legal and full physical custody to me with termination of financial support to my ex. Due to child support laws the Judge stated that she did not know where my children resided. I used every last dime I had to hire a private investigator to find them. Within a month of financial support being terminated she came out of hiding and the investigators found them. Within a few months I was in another state needing to hire a lawyer in that State. My lawyer was a Godsend and I thank God for his assistance. I finally took custody of my children returned home and raised them without malice. My home State removed all her parental rights, even visitations unless she returned to the State and appeared in front of the Judge to explain her actions. (She never did). Due to my beliefs, I have always allowed them to be in constant contact with their mother. I was an extremely difficult road as we tried to rebuild the parental relationship that was ripped from us and the introduction of their stepmother into their lives. My children are now grown and are both Men of Integrity. My oldest child has graduated college is in the Navy with a family of his own. He is a loving Husband and Father of three. My other child is also in the military and has graduated with honors. Both children have always been able to maintain their relationship with their mother.
    Continue to love and support them even when you find that new special man in your life (we are out there!) Your love for your children will carry on far beyond what you may ever imagine. May God grant you courage, strength, love and forgiveness in your journey.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 10, 2015 at 5:34 PM

      I'm so glad to hear that everything worked out for you, how stressful that must have been!

      Thank you for y our encouraging words and welcome to the blog!

      Delete
  29. AnonymousOctober 10, 2015 at 1:55 PM

    Roseville, California. I loved your writing from the first sentence!

    ReplyDelete
  30. AnonymousOctober 10, 2015 at 2:31 PM

    Fort Wayne, Indiana ... you are one heck of a lady. God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 10, 2015 at 5:33 PM

      And you are one heck of a commentor! Thanks for taking the time to let me know where you are from!

      *hugs*

      Delete
  31. UnknownOctober 10, 2015 at 3:33 PM

    Grand Rapids, MI..for the last 3 years.
    Read your article on Y Parenting and wanted to tell you that your kids are lucky to have a mommy like you. Don't worry about giving them material things. Your love and good parenting is what the need.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 10, 2015 at 5:32 PM

      Thank you for saying that, it helps a lot to be reminded :)

      *hugs*

      Delete
  32. AnonymousOctober 10, 2015 at 10:47 PM

    Los Angeles,CA

    ReplyDelete
  33. UnknownOctober 11, 2015 at 3:44 PM

    Lexexa KS (Kansas City) - Found your blog from a Yahoo story. I only have been reading for a couple days and WOW!! You have been through quite a bit. Wishing you all the courage to get through everything Eden!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 11, 2015 at 8:10 PM

      Aw thanks Marc. I need all the encouragement I can get, so thank you for your well wishes.

      Welcome to the blog!!! I hope to "see" you around here often :)

      *hugs*

      Delete
  34. Ali JavedOctober 11, 2015 at 5:02 PM

    Hey came to your blog from yahoo parenting. Going to have to start reading your posts from the beginning. What impressed me was that you are helping people despite working a job and raising two kids and not being well off. I think that's admirable. Let me know if I can help in some way (although I'm between jobs at the moment so I may not be able to do much). Anyhow hi and Assalamoalaikum all the way from beautiful Lahore, Pakistan :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ali JavedOctober 11, 2015 at 5:06 PM

      Oh and you can also check out my blog www.alijaved.com in your spare time. Let me know what you think.

      Delete
    2. NotMyShametoBearOctober 11, 2015 at 8:09 PM

      Thank you Ali :) I'm excited to have you all the way from Pakistan!!

      I will try to check out your blog soon :)

      Delete
  35. BernieOctober 16, 2015 at 3:59 PM

    I love your Blog, keep it up Pasadena, California

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 18, 2015 at 11:35 AM

      I'm jealous of your weather!! Welcome to the blog!

      Delete
    2. BernieOctober 20, 2015 at 2:51 PM

      Hey how do you not post Unknown or not Anonymous? There isn't any other options on the Reply as: drop down.

      Delete
    3. NotMyShametoBearOctober 21, 2015 at 11:18 AM

      Hum. I see 8 options in my dropdown, have you tried using a different web browser?

      Delete
  36. UnknownOctober 19, 2015 at 4:23 AM

    Read about you in Yahoo! Parenting. Wishing you & your family all the best! God bless...
    --from the Philippines

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 21, 2015 at 11:18 AM

      Thank you!! That's a long way away, I'm glad you made it over here! :)

      Delete
  37. Haroon MalikOctober 20, 2015 at 2:30 PM

    Lahore, Pakistan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 21, 2015 at 11:19 AM

      Welcome and thanks for posting!! You're another one of my "across the ocean" readers. I love that!

      *hugs*

      Delete
  38. FaelanOctober 23, 2015 at 11:43 AM

    Singapore (: and I just want to say I love how optimistic and upbeat you are despite going through all that in your past. it gives me a bit of strength. thank you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 27, 2015 at 7:49 PM

      Aw thank you, and thank you for reaching out to let me know where you are from! Lots of people from Singapore lately, how cool!

      *hugs*

      Delete
  39. EllaOctober 24, 2015 at 12:42 AM

    New Brunswick, Canada.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Cricket TragicOctober 26, 2015 at 10:28 PM

    I am here in Newcastle NSW Australia. I will be reading more of your blog over time. I too have a lived experience of abuse, unfortunately I also lost nearly all of my 'friends' when I escaped with my life.

    Take care

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 27, 2015 at 7:51 PM

      I'm sorry to hear that you have gone through it too. I'm glad you are here where we understand. I'd suggest reading my posts with the label "neighbors" to see what I went through losing people who found out about my abuse. The commentors are amazing and you might find some of them helpful.

      *hugs*

      Happy you are here :)

      Delete
  41. UnknownNovember 9, 2015 at 7:50 PM

    I am from Wisconsin and at 62 years young am still struggling with past abuse as a child and an adult but find peace every single day in my 3 daughters and soon to be 4 grand children So stay strong Much love

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearNovember 12, 2015 at 8:30 PM

      Well hey, it's about time that you show up over here!! It sounds like you've grown quite the family :)

      Delete
  42. AnnaNovember 20, 2015 at 1:32 PM

    London, Uk :) You are a strong woman Eden, I admire you!

    ReplyDelete
  43. AnonymousDecember 8, 2015 at 2:16 PM

    I just found your blog and I'm so glad that I did. Much love from Huntington Beach, CA.

    ReplyDelete
  44. AnonymousDecember 8, 2015 at 4:10 PM

    Sierra Vista, Az

    There is so much I'd like to say but mostly... You Are Wonderful!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearDecember 9, 2015 at 12:43 AM

      Hahaha! Nice! I don't know about "wonderful," but you seem pretty awesome!

      Delete
  45. AnonymousDecember 8, 2015 at 4:34 PM

    Winston Salem NC. I thought your 'Living on Welfare' article cut to the quick, giving a rarely seen insight into the season and the anger of poverty. I am impressed and humbled. I am a retired welfare department administrator. Keep writing. Harry Maney

    ReplyDelete
  46. AnonymousDecember 8, 2015 at 6:13 PM

    Watsonville, CA. I just read your Living on Welfare article and it very much touched my heart. Keep writing as you have a great talent.

    ReplyDelete
  47. AnonymousDecember 8, 2015 at 7:39 PM

    Guam!!! Saw your article on yahoo about Christmas. Please email me your address: cams_jar@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearDecember 9, 2015 at 12:41 AM

      I've sent you an email :)

      You might be my first Guam person, welcome!

      Delete
  48. Angela JamesDecember 9, 2015 at 9:07 AM

    Austin, Texas :)

    ReplyDelete
  49. UnknownDecember 9, 2015 at 10:39 AM

    ::hugs::

    From Warwick, RI

    <3 you are an amazing mommy and an inspirational woman! I love sitting here reading all of your stories. Some have made me laugh, some have made me cry (yes at work, and im sure they think im absolutely bipolar or just super emotional, who cares), they have especially made me appreciate what I do have and the people I have in my life. You sound just like my friends and I. PJ's all day with wine!! We would be watching big bang, super emotional tlc movies, or something sexy like Magic Mike XXXXL ;) I look forward to sharing your blog with my mom. I am hoping it will give her the strength and courage to write about the terrible past she struggled through as a child. I look forward to reading more and sharing a glass of wine with you (or a few) in spirit. ;) (your date blog is hysterical. You should have everyone share their own disastrous/never again dates to give you stories to laugh at as well) :) I hope you and your children have an amazing Christmas together, as I know you will. xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearDecember 9, 2015 at 3:57 PM

      Haha, sorry to make you cry, but happy to make you laugh! You sound like we could be great friends!!!

      And hey, seriously, that is not a bad idea. I totally should do an open post where people can share their bad date stories!! You have to contribute!! (I actually think I might do that!!)

      Delete
  50. AnonymousDecember 9, 2015 at 1:09 PM

    You are loved in Tampa FL! Thank you for bringing inspiration to my life.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Michelle SamsDecember 9, 2015 at 3:53 PM

    Idaho Falls, Idaho land of the cold and snow too. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearDecember 9, 2015 at 3:58 PM

      But the question is, do you LIKE the cold and snow?

      Welcome!

      Delete
  52. AnonymousDecember 11, 2015 at 11:15 AM

    Cary, NC. I'm living a great life but spent 15 years in domestic violence. It left a mark that's difficult to articulate and even after 10 years I still feel "different" sometimes. Your blog has brought me peace by giving words to feelings that I could not and describing incomprehensible experiences with a candor I lack. I've always know that I was not alone logically but seeing your words make me feel that way emotionally - and that is such a gift.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearDecember 18, 2015 at 12:55 PM

      I'm happy that you found your way here :) You are NOT alone!

      *hugs*

      Delete
  53. AnonymousDecember 18, 2015 at 12:08 PM

    I'm in San Antonio, TX. I grew up in an abusive household and my mother was much like you. She is my hero. Both my brother and I have grown up and earned college degrees and make better lives for ourselves, and now do our best to take care of our mom :-) Keep doing what you are doing. Your kids will have bigger hearts and be stronger for it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearDecember 18, 2015 at 12:54 PM

      I'm sorry that you went through that but I'm so happy that you had such an amazing mom!!

      Thank you for your sweet words :)

      Delete
  54. PRahmanJanuary 19, 2016 at 2:21 PM

    Greetings, Eden!
    Just moved to Durham, NC, after a little more than a year in the Atlanta, GA area. I'm from Texas (lived in Austin mostly, but grew up in San Angelo). Thank you for doing what you do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearJanuary 20, 2016 at 3:27 PM

      Both such beautiful areas!! Thank you for reading!

      Delete
  55. UnknownJanuary 19, 2016 at 3:51 PM

    Saint Petersburg, FL. You're doing an extraordinary service here--writing about your experiences and giving other women who have not yet found their voices a voice of their own. Brava!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearJanuary 20, 2016 at 3:29 PM

      Thank you so much Alison :) That means a lot to me!

      Delete
  56. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2016 at 8:15 AM

    Houston, TX by way of South Louisiana.

    ReplyDelete
  57. aliceJanuary 20, 2016 at 12:58 PM

    Dover, Arkansas.
    Love your blog, by the way.

    ReplyDelete
  58. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2016 at 3:59 PM

    Just stumbled across your blog and I love it.
    Honolulu, Hawaii

    ReplyDelete
  59. RyanJanuary 21, 2016 at 7:32 AM

    Buffalo, NY

    Came across your blog yesterday and though i could never imagine what you went through maybe reading your story will prepare me to help a friend if they ever go through the same.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearJanuary 24, 2016 at 9:06 PM

      Ryan, that's a great outlook :)

      Welcome to the blog!

      Delete
  60. SeanJanuary 21, 2016 at 8:16 AM

    Kalamazoo, MI

    ReplyDelete
  61. UnknownJanuary 21, 2016 at 11:28 AM

    Eden,
    Just read your great article about welfare. It is true that people will judge someone by how they look. I am impressed by the resiliency you have. My mom was a single mom, who took care of me and my two siblings. She had to ask for assistance and work countless hours. She put me and my siblings needs way before hers. I credit her for the person I become and the values she showed me. I feel you are the same way with your two children and like me they are blessed to have a great mother in their life. Regarding the way people look at you and judge, I would not ever let them get to you. They don't know who you are. It is easier to judge a book by its cover rather than taking the time and effort to read it. Stay strong and let me know if you ever need anything.

    A fan from Germany
    Shawn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearJanuary 24, 2016 at 9:09 PM

      Your mom sounds like she raised an amazing son. Please thank her for me, and as one single mom to her, tell her that I'm proud of her :)

      Thank you for your sweet words Shawn, and welcome to the blog! All the way from Germany!!

      Delete
  62. AnonymousJanuary 21, 2016 at 8:58 PM

    Rougemont, NC - near the Research Triangle Park

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearJanuary 24, 2016 at 9:07 PM

      Thanks for commenting and welcome to the blog!

      *hugs*

      Delete
  63. UnknownJanuary 28, 2016 at 2:22 PM

    Missouri! Found your blog a couple of months ago. FYI: You are AMAZING!! <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearFebruary 8, 2016 at 2:49 PM

      Aw, thank you!! And high-five to you all the way in Missouri!!

      Delete
  64. UnknownFebruary 7, 2016 at 2:26 PM

    I just stumbled on your blog yesterday. I can't stop reading. Any publisher worth his or her salt should be knocking on your cyber door with a book deal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearFebruary 8, 2016 at 2:49 PM

      Well if that's not one of the sweetest comments ever, than I don't know what is. Thank you Heather :)

      *hugs*

      Delete
  65. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2016 at 10:07 AM

    I found you through a cross-posted article on Women's Health magazine online; it looks like we have similar parents. Hoping all is well where you are, and if you're lucky, a little warmer than where I am, too. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearFebruary 18, 2016 at 5:21 PM

      It's freezing here! But welcome to the blog, I'm happy you are here :)

      Delete
  66. AnonymousFebruary 16, 2016 at 2:43 PM

    Reading your essays on Yahoo! from Munich, Germany. I hope that writing about your experience helps you somewhat to process it. I know it does for me when I write.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearFebruary 18, 2016 at 5:21 PM

      It helps more than I can even explain! Welcome, all the way from Germany!

      Delete
  67. RaedFebruary 16, 2016 at 11:52 PM

    Amman, Jordan.. Stay strong Eden Strong :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearFebruary 18, 2016 at 5:22 PM

      I think you are my first reader from Jordan. Yay!!!

      Delete
  68. AnonymousFebruary 17, 2016 at 3:05 PM

    Reading your essays on Yahoo! from Tampa, FL. Sadly so much alimony and child support reform going on here, bills trying to get passed which is going to make it even harder on caregivers and children. The real question I never see address what makes our men just go "feelingless"? As a mother of three and two of them boys I dont want them to repeat the pattern. Dignity, Integrity & Loyality! What is happening to our men?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearFebruary 18, 2016 at 5:22 PM

      That is the exact question that weighs on my mind the most :(

      Delete
  69. AnonymousFebruary 18, 2016 at 9:11 AM

    I found your blog through Yahoo. I am in Alabama. I have never been in your situation but you inspire me to be a better person, a better wife, and a better mother. It also gives me insight into my sister in law who will not leave her abusive husband. The only good in her story is that when they abandoned their girl child I got a daughter. Thank you for sharing your story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearFebruary 18, 2016 at 5:24 PM

      That is the most amazing compliment, thank you so very much :) I am so sorry that happened to your daughter, but I'm glad she has someone like you :)

      You rock!

      Delete
  70. AnonymousFebruary 19, 2016 at 12:15 AM

    Hi. Read an article on Yahoo and then spent a day catching up on your story. I hope I can raise my 3 daughters to have your courage, tenacity and strength! Thank you.
    Mailing you from Windhoek, Namibia

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearMarch 3, 2016 at 9:00 PM

      That is the sweetest thing ever, thank you so very much!! And I think that you might be my very first Namibia reader!! (I'm going to go google that now and figure out where it is....)

      Delete
  71. The ExtantFebruary 21, 2016 at 6:44 AM

    Your blog is amazing! It makes me realise how incredibly lucky I am to have everything I do. What is the name of your nonprofit? I'd love to donate if possible.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearMarch 3, 2016 at 9:01 PM

      Aw thank you :) Unfortunately I keep the name of the nonprofit private to protect my privacy (lots of Internet creeps), but I REALLY appreciate your generous offer!

      Delete
  72. AnonymousFebruary 23, 2016 at 3:22 PM

    Dear Eden, I am sorry to read of your situation. I am from Ottawa Canada. I read your story this morning. I am a single father of three. Although I do wish sometimes my ex would find the grocery store ..haha...we are still very much in our children's lives. I don't know why your ex would do what he did. I've never understood how anyone could turn their back on their children. The proudest moment of my life is when my oldest ..who was three at the time...called me DAD in front of her friends. I'll never forget it. Being a Dad is the toughest job I'll ever love. I wouldn't trade it for anything. My children are the loves of my life. I just wanted to say to you that you are a rock. You will get through this and your children will be better off without the deadbeat dad. There is something very wrong with him and a million things very right with you! Cheers! All the best..A proud Dad!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearMarch 3, 2016 at 9:02 PM

      I'm thrilled to hear from a stand-up dad. You are amazing and your children are so lucky to have you!

      Delete
  73. AnonymousFebruary 29, 2016 at 9:33 AM

    You are amazing and I am in awe of your strength. It always feels like we have to do things in a certain way. Go to college, get married, have children. It doesn't always work the way we were told it would. Even when we do everything right, it can still blow up in our face. Reading your words has been very healing for me. Just reading about your strength, gives me strength. Sincerely, Stronger for having known your work (SE Iowa)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearMarch 3, 2016 at 9:03 PM

      Whatever you are going through, you can do it. You CAN! In anyway that you want too :)

      *hugs*

      Delete
  74. AnonymousMarch 6, 2016 at 2:31 AM

    Colorado Springs, Colorado. Found you by accident...a happy accident, I might add. :) A link brought me here from your writings on your childhood, so I do have a lot of reading ahead of me on this blog to catch up. We share a very similar background and we are both survivors. I left my toxic family in the 80s...it was the best gift I ever gave to myself...same goes for you. ;) ~Cappy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearMarch 10, 2016 at 10:56 AM

      Congrats on walking away from the past and into the future :)

      I'm happy that you have accidentally found your way here!

      Delete
    2. NotMyShametoBearMarch 10, 2016 at 10:56 AM

      Congrats on walking away from the past and into the future :)

      I'm happy that you have accidentally found your way here!

      Delete
  75. AnonymousMarch 14, 2016 at 7:50 PM

    Chicago. Thank you for your article about disowning your family. It saved me today and got me over to your blog, which I'm pouring through, post by post. I really, really, really needed your message today. I don't have family now, either. It feels like the same grieving process as when someone I loved passed away. Can't eat. Can't sleep. But I know it has to get better from here. They've emotionally and physically bankrupted me, and I have to see it for what it truly is—I didn't really have a family or the support of a family before this decision. So, what I'm doing now is going to help me heal and live a full life without the burden of an abusive "family" sucking me dry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearMarch 15, 2016 at 9:56 AM

      It is a grieving process! You have "lost" basically the only birthright that you were given, a family. And you need to grieve the loss of that, but it's also important to remember that sometimes you NEED to lose something in order to gain something. Just as you lost the bond you had with your mother in her womb when you were born, you left everything you had ever known gained a life of freedom in the outside world. This is just the next step of that. You are leaving behind something that no longer nurishes you, in order to find your true life beyond that.

      You can do this! Feel free to email me if you need anything!!

      *hugs*

      Delete
  76. AnonymousMarch 25, 2016 at 4:32 AM

    Germany :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearMarch 29, 2016 at 4:11 PM

      Welcome!!! I used to babysit the CUTEST little German twins. I loved hearing the language :)

      Delete
  77. ShareeMarch 31, 2016 at 6:42 AM

    Single mom here on Whidbey Island in Washington. :)

    ReplyDelete
  78. murrmurr_03April 14, 2016 at 1:50 PM

    Hi, Eden
    Toronto, Canada :)

    ReplyDelete
  79. Just MeApril 17, 2016 at 6:38 PM

    Hi! Read your story, very sad, and sorry that you suffered so much :( my life was pretty equally as crumby. Just wanted to offer you a hug, and say... I am from Deshler, Ohio.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearApril 21, 2016 at 4:18 PM

      I'm sorry that you haven't had the easiest road either, but I'm happy you are here!

      *hugs*

      Delete
  80. AnonymousMay 18, 2016 at 2:27 AM

    Brisbane Australia.
    I found your blog last night and spent hours reading the posts. I can relate on so many levels and many similar experiences, current and past. I so admire your strength and positivity. Your writing style is amazing too.

    I have been managing on my own this last 18 months, with no family or other support, managing a nasty separation/divorce from an abusive ex husband. The violence got so much worse after separation. Unfortunately he is seeking custody. I have multiple court battles coming up, just to keep a roof over our heads. I have had mixed responses from police and have to just have my own very careful strategies.
    Your post "make it count" in 2014 really resonated with me. I have been avoiding doing the paperwork, avoiding taking action, all to avoid the conflict and just focusing on the present, going one day or step at a time. But you are right, I can not leave it up to fate or the universe (which lets face it haven't delivered me much in the past), I have to fight for my kids and for financial security (try at least).
    Thank you so much for your blog and openness. It is a source of strength and motivation for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearMay 26, 2016 at 8:42 PM

      Studies show that the most dangerous time for a woman leaving a DV relationship, is during the two years AFTER she leaves her abuser. Be careful!!! Studies also show that abusive men are MORE likely to fight for custody than non-abusive men, because it's a control issue. I'm so sorry that you are going through all of that :( I'm here if you need to chat!!

      Delete
  81. SusanJune 15, 2016 at 11:14 PM

    Love you blog! Susan from Salalah, Oman. Hope I'm you're first Omani reader :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearJune 24, 2016 at 12:58 PM

      Welcome!! I just had to google Oman to see where it even is. How neat!!!! :D And yes, you are my first Omani reader!!!

      Delete
  82. AnonymousJuly 15, 2016 at 6:30 PM

    Hi there, Eden. Was directed to your site after receiving the latest "all-in-one" email (letter to your son). Deena reading from Los Angeles, CA (2nd generation, I'm proud to add). Your blog is a breath of fresh air. Keep writing please!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearJuly 17, 2016 at 10:47 AM

      I'm so jealous that you get that warm weather year round. Thank you for commenting and please, send me a tan!!

      *hugs*

      Delete
  83. UnknownJuly 27, 2016 at 9:21 AM

    Pgh PA :)

    ReplyDelete
  84. terriebariAugust 9, 2016 at 7:34 PM

    Northern California!

    ReplyDelete
  85. UnknownAugust 24, 2016 at 11:34 AM

    Anabel from Huntington Beach, CA. Thank you for the courage to write this blog. As someone who has endured a lot of similar struggles as yourself with family mental illness (mother) and a physically and mentally abusive ex husband. Your blog speaks to me, still. It's a reminder of how far I've come and how lucky I am to have found the man of my dreams and how different and beautiful a marriage can feel and be. I'm going through chemo for breast cancer at the moment and as hard as my situation is.... I know that I am loved and that there are so many in way worse situations than myself. Life is a gift, please never forget that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearSeptember 12, 2016 at 4:47 PM

      Thank you for sharing that with me :)

      Sending you BIG internet hugs, and I am so happy that you feel loved (and are loved). Just like life, it's a gift that is too often taken for granted.

      Wishing you all the best in your journeys and your health.

      Delete
  86. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2016 at 9:00 AM

    Reading from South Africa
    I found your blog randomly via related google searches. Thank you for your story, honesty and interaction with readers. I appreciate reading everyone's comments, shared experiences and stories. I pray that God will provide for you and your family as well as send more people on your path who wil not only learn from your story, but who will also be a blessing to your life. Hope to read more!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearSeptember 12, 2016 at 4:46 PM

      Well however you landed here, I'm glad you did! Thank you for your prayers and I look forward to hearing from you!

      Delete
  87. AdelineOctober 2, 2016 at 8:20 AM

    From Hiroshima, Japan! :)

    ReplyDelete
  88. AnonymousOctober 9, 2016 at 6:04 AM

    I was raped by an abusive wife. Let's just say that was one of the many nightmares I endured.

    South Carolina here

    ReplyDelete
  89. 17yearsofwarOctober 16, 2016 at 9:34 AM

    Ravenna, Ohio - Small city town from nowhere. You blog is so great. I am so glad that people like you exist to share your story, it makes people like me feel a lot less alone.

    ReplyDelete
  90. KaraOctober 27, 2016 at 11:04 PM

    Prescott, AZ I am a survivor. It's been 10 years, and my girls and I are are doing great :)

    ReplyDelete
  91. AnonymousOctober 27, 2016 at 11:25 PM

    crescent city califormia

    ReplyDelete
  92. felixdkat78October 28, 2016 at 1:16 AM

    Hello Eden! I've read a few of your posts that were seen on yahoo but didn't find your blog site until now. I'm happy to be able to read all your posts. I've been reading them for a while now, when I was living in my hometown of Las Vegas, Nevada but now I'm currently living in a small town called Levin in New Zealand!

    As a victim of domestic violence myself, I truly admire your strength and courage to continue with this post. I know it's not easy. Keep spreading the word and may you and your children always be safe!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 30, 2016 at 4:47 PM

      Aw, thank you! I'm happy that you found your way here, and I hope that you'll stick around!

      High-five to my fellow survivor :)

      Delete
  93. AnonymousOctober 28, 2016 at 1:18 AM

    I just started reading your blog and very proud of you.
    I was only 6yrs old when I started getting molested by my Uncle, it stopped when I became a woman. Then at 14yrs old, I had fallen off the the top of the trailer of my father's tractor trailer that I was cleaning, had broken my Tailbone, then the next day has an appendicitis. After I was healed I started getting raped by my own Dad. The day the comments and things he made me do finally stopped the day he took his life 29 Apt 2009. I put up with my Father and Uncle due to my son, Codie, he does not know neither does his father, thank God. My father did everything for my son and my Uncle always took my son, Salmon fishing in New York or Erie, Pennsylvania. So I just keep putting up with the abuse, figured somewhere I done something wrong to deserve this, wore the wrong clothes, said something wrong. Then in 2002, I married one if my best friend that I have known since I was 15yrs old {I was born in 1974, I'm pretty old}. We had gotten married the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, we had a great time. He was going to his families camp Sunday, to go hunting and that is when the first hit happened. I blew it off, we where out partying. Then in June 2003 at his Sisters wedding about over 300 people, outside wedding. I went with a friend for smokes. When I came back he accused me of being in the bushes with someone, tried to explain. Will no one heard my screams, got in the Jeep to drive home, he was to drunk to drive, on the way home he kept hitting me in the face, I kept trying to block him with no prevail. I pretended to put the Jeep in park, put had it in Neutral, he got out, I did break his nose with my elbow, he came around the Jeep screaming at me to get out, told him I would in a minute. He took one swing and broke the window with one hit with his fist. I drove straight to my Dad's. Between my Dad, Nana n Aunt I went to the ER, my Dad went looking for him, my Dad always carried his 357mag, he did have a permit, got to my then husband parents and they started flipping on my Dad about me breaking his nose. Will my Dad had pictures of me and the results, I had my right side of my jaw broken in three spots, my nose crushed, my right elbow and bone between wrist and elbow shattered, concussion, left leg main bone from my ankle to my knee broke,from trying to get him off of me at the party and my left ankle broken. His father said: you don't need to use your gun because I'm going to use mine. Needless to say he did get put into jail, but his sister threatened my son and I while we where watching TV by shooting our window out that I did drop the charges. By the time he got out my son and I moved so he couldn't find us till the divorce and order of protection was done. We moved about 20x's in six months. Was an awful time for me.
    Glad you have a wonderful family and he is gone. Plus, your blog and everything you do is amazing.

    Shamokin, Pennsylvania

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 30, 2016 at 4:48 PM

      I'm so sorry that you went through all of that, you did not deserve that :(

      I wish you lots of healing hugs, and I'm glad that you are here!

      Delete
  94. UnknownOctober 28, 2016 at 2:48 AM

    Thank you for sharing your story. I admire your bravery and am thankful for your blog as you motivate other women who have gone thru ( or are going thru) the same thing. My husband was abusive and we have gone thru counseling. We have our good days and bad. Having spiritual help gives my daughter and myself the courage to take it another day. Thank you for blogging your experiences. What a great lady you are!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 30, 2016 at 4:49 PM

      Aw, thank you Tina. I'm happy to have you here :)

      *hugs*

      Delete
  95. AnonymousOctober 28, 2016 at 1:59 PM

    I praise God that I have not been affected by DV but I do know of women in my life that are or have been. Thank you for sharing your story it really touches my heart to know about you and the hurt that your children even now go through asking about their daddy. I have a 6 and 9 boy and girl respectively. I couldn't imagine living the life you have lead. May God bless you and your children always. May He always be with you and know that His love is unconditional and always is. I don't know you but I will continue prayers for you and your children. Take care MJ. Temecula CA

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NotMyShametoBearOctober 30, 2016 at 4:50 PM

      Thank you so much :) I appreciate all the prayers that I can get!

      Delete
  96. KULWINDER SINGHFebruary 24, 2017 at 4:13 AM

    Good wishes, This is Kulwinder Singh From Punjab, India

    ReplyDelete
  97. KoriMarch 24, 2017 at 8:27 AM

    Chattanooga, Tennessee!!

    ReplyDelete
  98. AnonymousDecember 13, 2017 at 7:51 PM

    Turkey! :) I think I am the only one from here.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)