"Things That Make You Ask Why?" 13th Edition

On this blog, we discuss some really difficult things, that can make you question the way the world works. But we aren't here for that today. Nope, today is all about the strange shit that seems to serve zero purpose at all.

The shit that just makes you ask "why?"

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Why hasn't this house been rented yet!? I saw the listing on a Facebook ad, and I simply can't understand why someone hasn't snatched it up yet.

Do you think it's because the bathroom is tiny? I mean at least it gets great light, and views, of the street... from the toilet...

I simply have no idea why it's still for rent.

None at all.

What The Hell Do People Think Of Me?

Have you guys heard of Wish.com? I promise this isn't a sponsored post or anything, it's just that lately their ads seem to be infiltrating my Facebook news feed. And what I really don't understand, is why, in an era where ads are usually targeted to a specific audience, does Wish.com think that I want to buy a bunch of... I really don't even know what to call it.

It also worries me a bit that whatever I'm doing on my phone, has led Wish to think that I am the kind of person who would need any of this stuff...

Like this for example:

What is this? Some kind of leg brace you wear to go clubbing? Complete with ventilation hole for your fat, that makes you look like you have a giant blister in need of medical attention? Do I dress like this and was just unaware?

The 2nd Edition Of "Why On Earth Would I Buy That?"

Last night I was flipping through the TV channels and I came across an emerald ring that was on sale on the home shopping network, for the low, low price of $20,000. Since I didn't feel like jumping up to grab my credit card to buy the ugliest ring I had ever seen after I had gotten all comfortable on the couch, I finally edited this little beauty for you! Because if there is anything that I have enjoyed writing more than the "Things That Make You Ask Why" series, it's this series.

Really though, nothing says 'Murica, more than the examples of what you can buy in our stores. So without further ado, I ask you, "Why On Earth Would I Buy That?"

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Wait... what? I have so many questions here that I'm not even sure where to start.

So I guess I'll just start with, "why not shop online for recycled car parts that you can use the next time you attend a riot?"

Things That Make You Ask "Why?" Part 11

It's been much too long since we've done one of these posts!! And since it's the middle of the week and we are halfway from the fun of the previous weekend and still have a few more days until we make it to the next one, now seems like the perfect time for a good chuckle. So without further ado, I bring you another addition of "Things That Make You Ask Why?"

All photos are courtesy of my cellphone and the strange life I lead.

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Why is this guy breaking the law?

Because it's illegal to have nuts hanging from your car. I know this because while sitting behind this car at the gas station, I Googled truck nuts to see if they really were nuts or if I just had a dirty mind.

They are real, and also really illegal. Huh.

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And speaking of trucks, what is this? Why would a truck need a sign like this? Am I unaware that truck pushing is an actual problem that truck companies have to deal with? Pushing them where? Out of the way when they drive too slowly? I mean I just... I don't get it.

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Things That Make You Ask Why, Part 10

I love these "why" posts. You guys rarely comment on them, but I love them so we are  going to keep doing them anyway!

Why am I so amazed at this diorama? Because it was in the 1st grade science fair. "Everyone can just go home now, this kid wins science. Thanks for coming out today."

 Look closely. There are sculpted animals in there, WITH DETAILS.

Why was I tempted to buy a chair I have no need for?

Because who could pass up a deal like that!? Look at the price when it's not on sale!

Why Would I Buy That?

A few nights ago after I suffered a minor facial injury that I will take to the grave that I don't want to talk about, The Platonic Husband and I made plans to watch the comedy "The Sex Tape."

I'm the ugly peach color. For some reason it wouldn't let me crop the pics so they are haphazardly pasted together. Sorry!

And as usual, before we started the movie we started talking about everything under the sun, which was how I ended up telling her about these ridiculous clothes that Frisbee Boy's Mom had given me to try and sell (in all fairness they were also given to her, but still...)

"And there is no way anyone is going to buy these things," I explained to my Platonic Hubby. "Not unless I start shipping to the compound. I mean seriously, unless you are looking to go as a Duggar or an 80's inheritance queen for Halloween, no one is going to be buying these clothes."

So naturally, we decide that we must try them on.

Things That Make You Ask "Why?" Part 9

Wow, I think this is the longest we have gone without a "Things That Make You Ask "Why?" post. After the last few heavy posts I figure we need some cheering up here! So without further ado, I bring you the crazy, the strange, and the weird, all courtesy of my camera phone.

Why is this woman walking around with her hair in foil and wearing a salon cape? Because she came out of the hair salon, started walking towards my friends at I in Starbucks, and while we were thinking "that's smart, she is going to get a coffee while her hair sets," she surprised us all by walking into the liquor store instead. It was nine am. To each their own!

Things That Make You Ask "Why?" Part 8

It's about time for another edition of "Things That Just Make You Ask Why?" courtesy of Eden's phone!

Why do rental cars always come with both keys locked together? I mean really, what good does that do me? "Oh man, it really sucks that I lost my key, but at least it won't be lonely since I lost the spare one with it."

Eden, why did it seem like a good idea to move this chair down the stairs by yourself? Compliments of my Facebook page.

Things That Make You Ask "Why?" Part 7

Yay! It's time for another edition of "things that just make you ask why" courtesy of Eden's phone.

(IN OTHER NEWS; make sure you read to the bottom for a few random updates to Not My Shame's media pages)

Why am I going to have a heart attack at the ripe old age of 31? Because this is what happens when you tell a guy "Yea, I don't really care, just get me something." He comes back with cheese fries, more cheese fries, potato skins hiding under a pile of cheese, sour cream, and bacon, and some 9,780 calorie sandwich masquerading as lettuce. You had better believe we ate it all and then we got ice cream.

Why was this on the clearance rack? Not enough immigrants shopping here during the holiday season? This was in a size 3T! How funny, I've never seen that before. It's good that they are catering to the masses but it was still funny to see since you typically see this printed on onsie's for infants.

Things That Make You Ask "Why?" Part 5

 It's time for another edition of "things that just make you ask why?" Courtesy of Eden's phone.

Why did I call the police, which is something I never do because I don't trust the police? Because the guy at the car wash hit my car with his cleaner cart and refused to give me the business insurance information.

Why did I have a heart attack at work? Because I didn't look at my clients couch before I put my hand on it to lean over and clean the picture on the wall. FYI, mousetraps HURT. I somehow didn't see any of them. Not when I put my right hand on the couch and it snapped, not when I screamed and put my left hand on the couch, not when I backed away out of sheer terror and landed on the couch behind me. Not at any point did I see any mousetraps before they snapped. I mean really, how was I expected to be looking around logically with all the screaming and flailing around that was going on? Seriously though, that was quite stupid of me. Of course there would be mouse traps everywhere, I mean, why wouldn't there be?

Do You Think I Could Wear Giant Metal Bugs On My Nipples?

Last week I went to my post surgical check up at the surgeon's office. The good news is that the doctor said the outside of my nose is totally healed and looks exactly like we both wanted it too. In his words, "girl we nailed it." The bad news was that the inside wasn't as healed as he would have liked it to be at this point and I got a long talking to about how I was supposed to be taking it easy. Instead of being released from his care I now have to go back to see him AGAIN. That's a huge pain for me because I don't drive in the city so I have to bribe my friends to take me. Good thing I have great friends. 

Anyways, while I'm sitting in the surgeon's office I'm reading the only magazine that they had; Vogue. As I'm reading, I'm realizing something. Well actually, confirming something would be a better fit. I don't understand fashion, I just don't get it. The entire magazine was out of my element and with each page I found myself asking "huh?" 

With that being said, I have decided that with my new life, maybe I need a new look. I took a few pictures with my phone of this springs fashion trends and I was hoping you guys could give me a little feedback. What do you guys think of these looks?

I'm not sure what copyright laws are on stuff like this, but all of these pictures came out of this magazine:

I don't know about you, but I was unaware that "sexy" is now a girl with a mustache. They look half dead and HELLO, one has a mustache! Would any of you girls look at this and be like "you know what? I've never really thought about it before, but yea, a mustache might be a good look for me." Anyone? Anyone? Men? Have any of you ever been like "That girl is fine, but she would be out of this world if only she had a mustache?" Any of you? I am apparently totally out of the loop. (I did however throw that mustache party and I have to admit, I made that look good.)

How about this one? Nothing says "I want to buy that!" like a girl who is obviously in pain from the shoes she is wearing. Clearly she can barely even stand up as she is draped over her identical twin and trying not to put full pressure on her painful shoes. You know what else attracts me to this look? I do love a good jacket that doesn't cover most of the parts of me that would get cold. Does anyone know where I can get me one of these totally impractical jackets?

Now this might actually be a good look for me, seeing as how I am pale enough to pull at least that part off, but I'm not sure if I could carry around a dead fox all day. "Hey, do you mind if I put my dead fox on your desk while we have our meeting? I wouldn't want him to get stepped on, he is dry clean only." Of course I'd have to be ok with my boobies showing through my metallic dress, but hey I'm willing to give it some thought.

Things That Make You Ask "Why?" Part 4

This week in "things that make you ask why," courtesy of my cell phone, I bring you;

Why would anyone my size want to wear this?? Mr. Attorney Man, are you reading this? Can I wear this next time we go to court? I want to look like the chick from "Legally Blond." It even has a matching purse thingy.... Tempting, veeeeerrrrry tempting.

Why do all these chocolate rabbits look surprised? 

"Ooooo, a carrot!"

"Ooooo, I can't remember what I was going to say!"

"Oooo, a baseball bat!"

"Oooo, look up, ears!"

"Hi. I'm not surprised. I'm just a confident nerd. I know I look good."

Things That Just Make You Ask "Why?" Part 3

It's that time again, time for another edition of "Things that just make you ask, why?" As usual, courtesy of my camera phone.

Why do I live in a place where the roads disappear in the winter?

In the summer, I took this picture of the road right outside of my house

And to be honest, I'm not even sure the road is there anymore.

Why do I live somewhere, where your neighbor's car disappears by morning?

Why are my neighbors so totally awesome, that even though the association will plow my driveway overnight, they hurry up and shovel so that when I get home from work, I won't have to get the kids out of my car in the snow?

Standing in my garage, looking at the only shoveled driveway around.

Why can I not figure out how this happened? It is a one way road, with a large median dividing the traffic on the other side. How did the mail truck turn almost backwards and drive up a hill?

Why drive a whole car when half a car works just fine?

Why don't you want us touching the TV? Because it might disintegrate due to old age?

This is the doctor's office you get to go to when you have no health insurance.

Why spend the money on chair rail when economy baseboard can be stapled to the wall for the same effect?

Things That Make You Ask "Why?" Part 2

Things that make you ask "why? Just, why?"

Courtesy of my phone camera.

Why was this able to get past every single department involved in designing the children's menu at this large scale chain family restaurant? "How many of you young in's want a chick-on-a-stick? Its the weekend kids, live it up!"

Why was I unaware that Santa was such a pimp?

Santa say's ho, we all say heeeeeey!

Things That Make You Ask, Why??

Things that just make you ask why?  Pictures courtesy of my phone.


Why do they let people who obviously cannot read, be in charge of applying the door stickers at Target? Because I CAN read, and now I'm just confused.

Why do they let people who obviously can't write, write romance cards? Everyone knows that "shiv" is a noun and the verb would have been "shank." Duh. (And why would anyone buy this? Seems more appropriate in Detroit then in suburbia over here....) I can pretty much guarantee you though, if I have a boyfriend come Valentines day, this is probably the card I will get. Because my dates always go so well.