Thursday, February 8, 2018

Six Years Later, Perjury Caught Up With Him (Part Two)



It was absolutely freezing on the walk to the courthouse.

Held in the afternoon and the only case on the docket, the courtroom was empty for our hearing, with the exception of Mr. Attorney Man, myself, a friend, my ex, his attorney, the judge, and the bailiff.

Intimate in a strange kind of way, it was both comforting, and unnerving.

Mr. Attorney Man had prepared a binder of documents that was no less than five inches thick and marked with exhibits.

I myself had brought a four inch file folder of well gone through evidence; copies of everything from bills that I had incurred, to photographs of my ex, his wife, and their children, provided to me by someone they believe is their friend, and proving that his lifestyle isn't quite as homeless as he has claimed.

I was ready, and utterly sick to my stomach. But, in a twist of fortune, the judge that had spent years letting my ex bluff his way through court, had retired, and a new judge now reigned over our case; giving me a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, this time would be different.

My ex was called first, and as he sat there on the witness stand, I was taken aback at his appearance. A gaunt face with dark circles under his eyes, his hair has gone almost completely gray. Repeatedly clenching his jaw in anxiety, just as he had done throughout our marriage, only a couple teeth were now left on his bottom jaw, and a damaged partial denture that was supposed to be a temporary fix from work started nearly a decade ago, clung to the top and cause him to appear even older than he is.

Mr. Attorney Man wasted no time in getting down to business, and in an effort to condense what ended up being almost four hours of testimony, I’ll tell you that my ex’s answers were filled almost completely with perjury, and fake tears that dripped of manipulation, and desperation.

“Mr. Ex, were you not ordered to log into the website Talking Parents once a week (our only mode of communication), to converse regularly with Ms. Strong about the children and finances?” Mr. Attorney Man asked.

Reading over the previous court order, and a detailed record of his log in attempts, my ex reluctantly agreed that he had logged in only four times in almost a year, leaving me with no way to reach him. He then stumbled his way through an explanation as to why, before finally deciding on the excuse that my messages were unsettling and confrontational.

Spurred by that accusation, Mr. Attorney Man read aloud a number of messages I had sent, containing (paraphrased) phrases such as “I’m willing to work with you, if you work with me, but you’re making this impossible when you constantly ignore me. If you are experiencing some financial hardship, I’m open to being accommodating, but I really need you to communicate with me to do so.”

Page after page, message after message, my ex couldn’t point to anything confrontational, and set the stage that he simply didn’t want anything to do with me.

With his defense being that he hadn’t paid support because he couldn’t afford it, Mr. Attorney Man lynched into him again, asking why there was such a discrepancy between the documents he had provided to the court under sworn oath, and what the IRS had on file. Testimony was recalled from prior dates when he claimed to be sleeping on a couch and living with a roommate, and then we sat back and watched as he tried to explain how that testimony accounted for the wife and child he had at that time.

For nearly two hours, Mr. Attorney Man questioned what my ex had previously alleged in court, and asked him to explain why none of it matched the actual evidence at hand.

“Mr. Ex, do you recall this affidavit, that you provided to the courts, where you wrote down that your income was XYZ? Then can you please explain why your tax return says that you actually made ABC that year? Do you remember being required to provide proof of your income at that court date, and for two subsequent dates, you ‘forgot’ to bring in your paycheck stub and W-2? Was that because you were hiding your income?”

Then, referencing the financial affidavit my ex had prepared for this hearing, Mr. Attorney Man asked why he filled it out as if he were a single person. Why he wrote down every housing, auto, children’s, pet, and living expense, as if he paid all of it on his own, right down to his wife’s car payment, but conveniently didn’t include her employment income anywhere on the sheet; making it appear as if he was living beyond his means, and on his salary alone. Yet when questioned as to why he wrote down that was paying over $22,000 a year in children’s expenses — and claiming that he couldn’t afford to pay anything for mine —  he stated that his wife paid all of those expenses, and he paid none of them.

The judge literally rolled her eyes.

Then, when Mr. Attorney Man asked him why he had never once, since the moment he walked out of our home, asked about our children, he burst into tears and began stuttering that he loves them, misses them, and wishes I would let him be more involved. Trying not to leap over the table and strangle him myself, I was pleasantly taken aback when the judge interrupted him and said “Sir, if I recall, you never even took the court ordered parenting class. You never asked for visitation, and you never pursued it.”



She got it.

For the first time ever, I felt like someone in a position to actually do something, was seeing through his lies.

But my ex just couldn’t help himself. Weaving a story about how him and his wife really didn’t make very much, and all of the reported income was loans and cashed out retirement funds that had been liquidated in an effort to pay me, he sat there speechless when confronted with the attached W-2’s that clearly showed their combined income was from wages.

At that, his attorney (who for the hearing was an associate in Mr. Killer's office) took over and let him launch into a clearly coached speech; sobbing that with the birth of his third (fifth) child, his wife had quit her job to stay home with the kids (whose birth dates he had difficulty remembering). The attorney argued to the courts that with the change in circumstances, it was clear that he could not be responsible for the bills of his prior children, because his plate was full.

When it came time to place me on the stand, Mr. Attorney Man had only had a few questions for me, with answers that I had asked him to let me share with the court.

“Please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying” I pleaded out loud. “I love my children and I am grateful that I am their sole guardian. I can’t even imagine my ex husband being in their life at this point because of how much damage he has done. But in the beginning, I didn’t ask for this; I didn’t ask to be abandoned. My ex’s defense is that he is too busy and financially strapped to take care of the family he had first, and although I have been happy to be the person there for my children, I didn’t ask to be their only parent. He abandoned them, and if I had then turned around and done the same thing, I would be arrested for neglect. Now I’m sitting here, after wiping away tears from the kids crying for a dad that never came home, and I’m asking that the courts not protect him anymore. My income is not protected by the law. It is my responsibility to give my kids everything they need and pay all the bills, because he left them with me, and although I am happy to do it, no one protects me from any other option. Now to have him come in here and ask the courts to protect him from his responsibilities because he has decided he wants something else, it’s insulting.”

I then began to shed what may have been the first real tears shown in the courtroom that day. They rolled down my face and fell with a vengeance onto the documents in front of me, as my ex stared at me; unblinking, and stone faced.

With that, the courthouse closed for the afternoon, and the fate of the case rested in the judge’s hands.

******************

Please Tune In Tomorrow For The Conclusion

(Which you can now read by clicking here)


49 comments:

  1. One cliffhanger is mean. Two qualifie qualifies as cruelty. Isn't it amazing what a decent judge can do!

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    1. Haha! I'm an awful person :( With an amazing judge!

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  2. Oh man. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am about to go to court for the EXACT same thing. 5 figures owed, hiding income etc. What you said about your income and neglect is exactly what I want to say but so far haven't been able to come up with the right words. You said it perfectly.

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    1. Feel free to use them in your case :) And good luck!!!

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  3. You may not know this, but I have a feeling that you are an inspiration (altho it sucks it had to be ANYBODY) to many many women. Congrats!!!!

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    1. You are much too kind :)

      Honestly, the things people get away with when abandoning children should be illegal!

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  4. Wow! So far, i am so happy that you have this judge.

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  5. It's been a long time coming! I'm so glad you got a judge that saw through his facade. I'm anxiously waiting for the conclusion

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    1. I was SOOOOO relieved! Gosh darn, all those years spent with that awful judge :(

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  6. I cannot wait to read the conclusion. I am a man that married a woman with four children. We then had two of our own. The marriage did not work out, but I still consider the four that are not mine biologically to be my kids. Their father is a deadbeat on the scale of your ex. He owes tens of thousands of dollars and never attempted to be in their lives. I remember he told my oldest boy that he sent him a birthday gift in the mail. Every day for a week that kid went to the mailbox looking for the gift his father told him he had sent. It never came. I have zero sympathy for any person that abandons their children. Deadbeats should rot in jail. The damage they do by their inaction is tantamount to child abuse.

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    1. You are a really great man and a wonderful dad. The world needs more like you!!!

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  7. omg i’m dying here!!!!

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  8. Your statement at the end is exactly what I was thinking reading through all of his excuses and lies. You don’t get to pick and choose what responsibilities you are going to take care of. You got married and had 2 children under the assumption that this person was going to raise these children ( even though it’s a blessing he physically isn’t ), he dumped all of it on your lap, parenting and financial obligations. You were given no choice, I’m not sure why he thinks he gets a choice.

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  9. Why???? I demand part three as an early Valentine's gift.

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  10. The suspense is too much! I can’t wait for tomorrow!

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  11. So glad you finally got a judge that gets it!!

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  12. I love how this is turning out.

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  13. You're killing me here😫

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  14. I'm making popcorn.

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  15. Lol I'm so happy for you

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  16. Good! My refresh button is going to break!

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  17. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO US! HURRY UP!!!!

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  18. Furthermore, if he wants to use the "I can't afford them anymore because of my new family" claim, then he shouldn't have had more children. He's such a dead beat. I'm so glad this new judge saw though his bull crap. The suspense is killing me though!! I'm so ready to read the ending!!!

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  19. The ending is what I have been trying to say for almost 15 years! If I stop supporting the kids it would be frowned upon but let a man not do it and it's fine

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  20. I get all the way to the end and my response is whyyy. I want the third part right now!!!

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  21. Also, no more cliff hangers!

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  22. You can always get him a gift card... For a urologist...

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  23. No, no no, we demand part three now! Lol. Long time coming...so very thankful the bad judge retired and you got a judge who is willing to take time to unpack the layers of lies Mr. Ex has recorded. Ok Eden, one more day but NO MORE! Lol πŸ’œ

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  24. Your killing me! Lol, actually it's exciting that you have a judge who's in touch with today not yesterday. My favorite part of today's snippet was that the judge actually rolled her eyes! Hallelujah!

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  25. HUGE smile on my face!!!!

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  26. After all this time I am delighted to see the jackwagon getting exactly what he has deserved! I am desperately trying not to cuss just in the event your 'bun in the oven' can read your mind. LOL Can't wait to read the conclusion! You rock, Eden! Big smiles for you from the East Coast!

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  27. Please, please don't let there be a Part IV!

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  28. I wonder if he purposely made himself look that way for the judge.

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  29. it will give me something to read while i’m snowed in! we are expecting 5-10in 😬

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  30. Am I the only one that wants to internet stalk this entire cast of characters (minus you and your fam, obviously). I am thrilled you got a new judge, bc I was ready to start a petition to get rid of the old one! I can't wait to read Part Three!!

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  31. The suspense is killing me!!!

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  32. As for his looks...evil takes a toll...

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  33. Oh,no,we have to wait until tomorrow? LOL! I'm thinking it will be great news since you were able to get a different judge!

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  34. I just want to say, I'm glad Karma is coming home to roost for your ex, Eden

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  35. Omg you’re soooooo mean to us!!! How dare you!! 😫😫

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  36. I am hoping that the judge orders a lump sum payment, because my money is on him scarpering on wife 2 and reneging on anything ongoing. I just have that sort of faith.

    Kudos to you for living through all the cliffhangers he has handed you with such grace, determination and poise.

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    1. That's what I was hoping for too... Stay tuned tomorrow!!

      Thank you for your kind words :)

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  37. I hope this new judge threw he book at him as hard as she possibly could

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  38. This. Has. Been. So. Damned. Long. Coming. Way to stick with it and dig deep, NMSTB. Kickass.

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  39. I see where you're going with this and its FANTASTIC!!!!!! I'm enjoying every single word you have to write!!!! Loving it!!!!

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  40. It’s tomorrow again!!

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