Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Sex, Diagrams, And A Cheesecake

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In case you didn't pick up on this from my last post, I am very, very, extremely ready to have this baby. Even more now, since I dislocated my hip (stupid genetic disorder) not long after hitting "publish" on the last post, and it's really difficult to heal a hip with all this extra baby weight pressing on it.


And my poor husband, well let's just say that the man should get some kind of medal, or nomination for sainthood, because I think that the wife he married and loves, has recently been replaced by a ball of weeping, eating, complaining, hormones.

I'm the green, and my saint of a husband is the gray, texting from his place of work.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Baby Update

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Is it just me, or have I been pregnant forever?

Because seriously, it feels like it’s been forever…

I’m 37 weeks pregnant, and I really can’t believe I made it this far. With my first two, I had preterm labor that landed me on bedrest a few months before my due date. So this time, when I ended up in the hospital at 21 weeks, contracting regularly, and scared out of my mind, I was sure that he was going to be born very, very, early.

But nope!

Now he doesn’t want to get out.

Friday, February 9, 2018

Six Years Later, Perjury Caught Up With Him (Part Three)

I was driving home when Mr. Attorney Man called to say that he thought it had gone well. I agreed, and then caught him off guard by saying that I wanted to concede to my ex’s motion, and moving forward have a cap placed on what he would owe me.

Repeatedly explaining that there was no legal basis for that, and that it would mean I would end up paying a majority of the bills in the end, I stood firm that it was what I wanted.

I do want justice, but I also need to move on.

“Please ask the judge to cap it, and in turn raise his monthly payments for support and arrears. I’d rather he be obligated to pay a higher amount each month, if it means that I don’t have to talk to him ever again. I know that means I will end up paying more towards medical bills than he will, but I can’t keep doing this. I want to move on.”

I need to.

I got home that night to a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of alcohol removed champagne, and a husband waiting to either comfort me, or celebrate, and had to explain that the case wasn't yet over. 

I tossed and turned all night, and the next morning when closing arguments began, Mr. Attorney Man expressed to the court how weary the process has made me, and that although I was there for justice, I was desperate to move on. He pointed out that it was clear my ex’s testimony was not credible and asked that the courts make things right for me and my children.

Then, my ex’s attorney said “your honor, we have a lot of deadbeat dads that come through this courtroom, and it’s obvious that Mr. Ex is not one of them.”

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Six Years Later, Perjury Caught Up With Him (Part Two)

It was absolutely freezing on the walk to the courthouse.

Held in the afternoon and the only case on the docket, the courtroom was empty for our hearing, with the exception of Mr. Attorney Man, myself, a friend, my ex, his attorney, the judge, and the bailiff.

Intimate in a strange kind of way, it was both comforting, and unnerving.

Mr. Attorney Man had prepared a binder of documents that was no less than five inches thick and marked with exhibits.

I myself had brought a four inch file folder of well gone through evidence; copies of everything from bills that I had incurred, to photographs of my ex, his wife, and their children, provided to me by someone they believe is their friend, and proving that his lifestyle isn't quite as homeless as he has claimed.

I was ready, and utterly sick to my stomach. But, in a twist of fortune, the judge that had spent years letting my ex bluff his way through court, had retired, and a new judge now reigned over our case; giving me a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, this time would be different.

My ex was called first, and as he sat there on the witness stand, I was taken aback at his appearance. A gaunt face with dark circles under his eyes, his hair has gone almost completely gray. Repeatedly clenching his jaw in anxiety, just as he had done throughout our marriage, only a couple teeth were now left on his bottom jaw, and a damaged partial denture that was supposed to be a temporary fix from work started nearly a decade ago, clung to the top and cause him to appear even older than he is.

Mr. Attorney Man wasted no time in getting down to business, and in an effort to condense what ended up being almost four hours of testimony, I’ll tell you that my ex’s answers were filled almost completely with perjury, and fake tears that dripped of manipulation, and desperation.

“Mr. Ex, were you not ordered to log into the website Talking Parents once a week (our only mode of communication), to converse regularly with Ms. Strong about the children and finances?” Mr. Attorney Man asked.

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Six Years Later, Perjury Caught Up With Him (Part One)


Just wow.

Four years since I started this blog, 387 posts later, and almost exactly six years since my ex abandoned me and the kids, I finally get to write this post.

This is it. 

This is THEE post that so many of you, including myself, have been waiting for since I started this blog in 2013.

What began with a few readers, has since led to millions of you following along, and it all culminates to this moment.

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

An After Flood, House Renovation Tour

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Now that we are expecting our third child, there is one question that I get asked, surprisingly, more often than "do you know what you are having? Do you have a name picked out?" and "are you going to have anymore?"

And that question is "are you going to move into a bigger house now?"

Our townhouse isn't large, so when we got married, The Guy and I naturally talked about moving into a bigger space. But in the end we decided against it because we didn't want to shake the kids lives up too much at once.

People were surprisingly opinionated about it, but most accepted our reasoning and stopped asking.

But when I got pregnant, it was amazing how many people began to ask not "if" we were now moving, but "when" we were now moving.

Thursday, January 11, 2018

A Uniboat, A Big Ass Dog, And A Week With My Kids

It's been a while since I've let you all into the craziness that is my life with my particular two children, and I have to admit, I am still laughing at some of the things they've said this week. And since I've never been one to hold back the parts of me that make me look bad, I figured why the hell not share some of this with you, even though yea, it probably doesn't make me look the best.

Like any of you are perfect either.

Therefore I bring you, the next installment of "Conversations I Didn't Think I'd Be Having This Week: Kid Edition."

I went out with a friend the other night, and this is what The Guy sent me while I was gone. Looks like they had fun!


We are driving down the street, when The Boy Child excitedly yells out to everyone else in the car, "Look! A uniboat!"

Not having any idea what a uniboat is, I turn to my left, and see hanging in the window of a sporting goods store, a kayak; you know, a boat for one person.

In other words, a uniboat.

Right on little man!

Found him watching TV like this. Yep, seems normal.