After I posted the post “And Before I Knew It My Boobs Were On The News” I got quite a few emails asking what my opinion was on women using their sexuality to their advantage.
Now just because I write a blog, that does not in any way, shape, or form make me some kind of expert on women’s issues and sexuality, but since so many of you had questions, I figured I could give you my opinion and then open the comments section for everyone to voice theirs.
Let’s be honest here, sex is one of the major driving forces in our world. Hunger, thirst, sex, they are all things that people crave and they are things that heavily influence our decisions. Sex is so important to us that we have sex doctors, sex medications, sex toys, sex clubs, sex movies, sex everything, and yet sexuality is still so taboo. There is an obvious reason why companies choose sexually appealing people to model their cars, their clothes, their brands. There is a reason why good looking celebrities are splashed all over the front of magazines. Sex appeal very much has a place in this world and is a highly influential force in our lives. Many feminists are against women using their bodies for gain because it objectifies them and while I get that, I have a different take on the matter.
I’ll say straight out that I am loudly against anything that signifies rape culture or is outright demeaning to women, but I am fine with women using their sexuality, under their own directives, to advance in this world. I feel like a human being is an entire package. You have your brains, your body, your sense of humor, your morals, different skill sets, etc, and together they make up the person that you are. I don’t see anything wrong with using any of these attributes as needed per the given situation. It would be absurd of me not to use my intellect to my advantage. I obviously use my sense of humor because hello, you are all here. I use my morals and values while raising my kids. I’d also be lying if I said I haven’t flirted my way in and out of more than a few situations. I don’t see anything wrong with using my sexuality to assist in gaining an outcome that I desire. I don’t think that’s stupid, I think that’s smart.
Now obviously I’m not over here proclaiming “sleep your way to the top,” I’m just saying that I don’t see anything wrong with using what you have as long as it is done in a responsible and non manipulative manner. By no means am I saying "not qualified for the job? Bump out the other applicants by sleeping with the department head!" There is a difference between expressing your sexuality and being manipulative in your ways. I'm just saying, in day to day living, I don't see anything wrong with getting your flirt on.
I sort of think of my body like a car. It’s a great little vehicle that carries around my most precious parts; my brain, my heart, and my soul. I use it to get from place to place and if I think it might get me somewhere faster than simply walking, I’ll let it shine a little. It would be dumb of me to let a perfectly good car sit in the garage when it could assist in getting me to where I need to go. I don’t mind letting a friend have a little ride, but I sure as hell am not letting every stranger on the street corner get in. You may look at my car nicely, but don’t honk at it and sure as hell don’t touch it unless I have given you permission. It’s my car, I take care of it, I maintain it, and I will do as I please with it. You wouldn’t go to a car show and start putting your hands all over the cars while exclaiming “hey, you were the one showing it off” so why do we assume that we can do that to our women? I may display my car for visual purposes when I feel like it, but don’t touch my damn car unless you have permission. I’m the one driving it and I am the one who gets to decide what to do with it.
Quite honestly, I love that I have an attribute that is helpful to me. I love that I am smart, funny, and sexy, just as every woman is. I find it empowering to be in control of my sexuality. I personally feel like it’s a great benefit of a package deal. Why ignore my sexuality when I have the chance to embrace it for the power that it has? If I can be judged on it to the point where it could destroy me, then it obviously has some power that I can harness for my benefit.
In order to gain equal rights, I don’t feel as though I need to deny my gender, deny my sexuality. I don’t see why I can’t embrace it for what it is and accept the power that it has. Being a woman is a powerful thing. I may not ever be as physically strong as a man, but I have my own skill sets in their own gender based right.
Equal can be fair, without being the same.
Equal can be fair, without being the same.
I really think that the first step in protecting ourselves as woman is not to ignore that our sexuality plays a role in our lives, but to understand the role that it plays and embrace it for what it is. Acceptance brings empowerment and along with empowerment comes assertiveness. I am a woman, in charge of her own body and I am free to do with it as I see fit. It is my choice and only my choice in how I choose to use my body and my sexuality.
I embrace my sexuality for what it is, a gift that I have been given, one of the many attributes in my life that not only gives me pleasure, but that I can also use as a well tailored skill set.
So back to the original question “how do you feel about women using their sexuality to advance in the world?” I personally am totally ok with it.
What is your opinion? Do you think that it is degrading for women to use their sexuality for anything other than intimate pleasure?
**Please keep your comments respectful towards the opinions of others. It is ok to politely disagree with a commentor’s opinion but personal attacks will be deleted**