Sure, I'll Have Sex In The Parking Lot, Why Not?

Nothing like a little Monday morning conversation with your best friend.

Well, my date with Piano Man went well.

Obviously.

We went to a pretty nice place about 45 minutes from my house. I snuck this snazzy little picture for you guys while he was reading his menu:

You’re welcome.

I had a really nice time. The conversation never ceased and I’m pretty sure we spent the majority of the night laughing louder than twenty people in the entire restaurant combined. He has my same sarcastic sense of humor and we found ourselves finishing each other’s sentences with the same bizarre and uncommonly used phrases, proving that he is a good match for my ridiculous level of weirdness.

When dinner was over he asked if I wanted to take a walk in the little downtown area nearby, but my boy child had not been feeling well when I left the house, and my mommy heart really wanted to get home and check on him.

Piano Man said he understood and walked me to my car. It was about nine o'clock and when I had gotten to the restaurant the place was totally packed, leaving the only available spot around the back of the restaurant in a lot that was now empty.

When we got to my car we just stood there talking, and talking, and talking some more, and then there was even more talking, and eventually I said “ugh, I really don’t want to go but I want to be home in case my little guy wakes up.”

Again he said he understood and as I leaned in to give him a hug, I don’t know, despite the 12 inch height difference I felt my hand slide up the back of his neck and then I kissed him.

I’ve never in my life kissed on a first date; many times not on the second, and multiple times not even on the third. This time though, I just dove right in there.

Then I whispered into his ear “you smell good” to which he replied “you feel good” to which my classy ass said “that’s creepy.”

The next thing I know the two of us are going at it like animals. Like animals people, I have no excuses.

Now I would like to take a minute to interject a question. Have you ladies ever noticed that it’s always the most socially awkward guys that have the best sexual skills? I have had several in depth conversations with my girlfriends about this very topic. When Mrs. Nutcase Neighbor and I were still friends, we were so convinced of this theory that we went so far as to take a poll among our friends. The results of our studies show that as the awkward indicator goes up, the sexy skills go through the roof. I am adding last night’s results as supporting data.

Anyways, so to continue on, we were going at it like animals. I felt my dress slide off my shoulders, which doesn't make any sense because hello, it's a dress, it can stay on...but whatever.

Clearly I am not in the most logical state of thinking, proven by the fact that we are in a PARKING LOT.

At one point I looked up and I saw some dude leaning against a car, smoking, and clearly enjoying the show.

“That guy is watching us” I said.

“Do you care?” he asked me.

“No” I heard myself saying.

Again with the class Eden; sheesh girl, get it together!

All of a sudden it dawns on me “whoa, you are about to have sex with a guy, in a parking lot, on a first date, and you don’t even know if this guy is clean.”

Romantic, right? But come on people, condoms break and I’m not really down for an STD or HIV. Secondly and most importantly, I wasn't sure if I would regret this. I haven't had sex with very many people and this was not the way I wanted to add another number to my list, especially if I wasn't sure if I was going to regret this.

So as we are still going at it I gently whisper “no.”

“Ok” he says.

In total shock I exclaim “what!?”

“Ok. You said no, I’m not going to try to convince you to do something that you aren’t completely comfortable with.”

Have I mentioned that I really like this dude? I mean like yes, I meant “no” and I wasn’t about to be convinced otherwise, but I was just shocked at his lack of resistance. Usually “no” is met with “Seriously? You are going to do this to me? Then why did you get me all turned on? You’re just going to leave me like this? Do you know how much this is going to hurt?”

I was totally prepared to have to completely and firmly shut this dude down and I was utterly shocked when he simply replied “ok.”

It. Was. Awesome.

So we managed to pull our respective selves together, had a lingering kiss goodnight, and then he watched me drive out of the parking lot.

He called me as I was pulling into my driveway and we talked on the phone until the sun came up.

I’m still not sure that I’m ready to be in a relationship and while I was very upfront with him about that fact, I dunno….

There is something about this 32 year old Piano Man that moonlights as an appliance salesman……