It's about time for another edition of "Things That Just Make You Ask Why?" courtesy of Eden's phone!
Why do rental cars always come with both keys locked together? I mean really, what good does that do me? "Oh man, it really sucks that I lost my key, but at least it won't be lonely since I lost the spare one with it."
Eden, why did it seem like a good idea to move this chair down the stairs by yourself? Compliments of my Facebook page.
Why would you choose this as your company logo? Following this truck for six miles did not make me want to hire your company, it made me want to run screaming for my life and praying that I don't get nightmares from having this creepy face burned into my brain.
Why wouldn't every child be super excited to get these cookies? Learning in the form of a tasty treat!? Too bad they don't come in gluten free, my kids are really missing out on a high quality learning opportunity here! "No one bites a cookie until you can tell me which creepy ass president's face is on the front! We are learning here children! This ain't no damn graham cracker!!"
Why did my friends and I spend a good ten minutes laughing? Because we stumbled upon this ad while looking for something for our nonprofit fundraiser. We really should have filtered the term "entertainment photographer" a bit better.
Why this might be the first person I've come across that needs to continue their last name onto the back of their drivers license.
Why am I holding a very empty box of french fries? Because Wendy's cheated me!!
Why am I holding a bag of french fries? Because this is what the passive aggressive cashier handed me when I politely pointed out my fry quantity disappointment.
Why am I holding a triple stack burger with a HUGE wedge of cheese? Because I also pointed out the fact that my bunless double stack was missing cheese, veggies, and condiments (yes that's right, I got two pieces of meat and THAT WAS IT) so the same passive aggressive cashier made this concoction.
Why do we call America the laziest country? Doesn't everyone need to pay a little extra to have their potatoes already foil wrapped?
Why am I taking a picture of batteries stapled back into the package? Because this was hanging on the shelf at the store and I can't figure out if this is awful or the best idea ever! Buy new batteries, return the old one's in the package. Apparently the store doesn't care...
Why not put a Coke machine facing a pond in the middle of a forest preserve. This is America you know! We are too lazy to bring water bottles and we demand a drink right here, right now!
Why was I suddenly questioning my adult clothing choices as I was folding laundry one day? Because these are my family's pants in a row. First are the girl child's, second are mine, lastly are the boy child's. My shorts are SHORTER than those of a three year old and nearly the same size as the shorts of my 38 pound six year old. How is that even possible....
"Why what a lovely view" was what I was thinking on my way to church moments before a turkey hopped out of the cornfield and committed suicide by my car. I'm telling you, this year I have taken my serial birderer status to a whole new level. A turkey? Really?
Why are most Americans who are living under the poverty line overweight? Because besides the occasional roadkill turkey, this is the food that they have access too. This is the haul that the food pantry gave me when I showed up to get diapers. Now I won't complain because not only are people nice enough to donate it and the volunteers are nice enough to set aside the gluten free food for me, but still, that's a lot of junk food!
Why wouldn't a group of clowns be dining at Chipolte?
Why is it frustrating when good intentioned friends give out your phone number? Because sometimes they unintentionally give it to really horny dudes that repeatedly sext you.
Why was I laughing my ass off at Ikea? Because this couple was there and obviously out of place with their interior designer (his entire suit was shiny. I'm not a suit person so I don't know what it was, but it looked like everything he had on was made of silk). The designer would pick something up, they would look at it with looks of shock and horror, she would awkwardly set it down, and then they would repeat the scenario over, and over, and over again as they made their way through the aisles.
Well that's it for this edition of "Things That Make You Ask 'Why?' " I hope all you beautiful people are having a fabulous day!