This Week In Fashion Fails....

This week seems to have been one big fashion fail. 

Allow me to explain.

Remember the post "I Realized I Was The Ugliest Person At The Gym?" Well I had a gift card to Kohl's that I had been hanging onto for some time and I decided to finally change that. It was given to me as a birthday gift with the stipulation that I not spend it on the kids, so when a fitness wear sale came around I finally decided to get some running clothes that actually fit. Seems like a good plan, am I right?

"How could this possibly go wrong Eden? They are just clothes."

Well let me tell you, I was fairly shocked when I realized that stretchy or not, those clothes do not always stretch where you want them too. Since I refuse to be one of those people taking selfies at the gym I had to wait until I got home to take this picture.

"But Eden, you look so...gym appropriate!"

Look closer.

Never, ever, in my life have I had a bra ride up on me like that. Nope, I wasn't the ugliest girl in the gym anymore, I was the most promiscuous! I was running on the track and trying to alternately yank my shirt up and my bra down and it WAS NOT WORKING. Boobies were getting all up in my throat and it's a little hard to breath when they are shoved up about four inches higher than you are used to. 

Seriously, scroll up and look at the first picture and tell me that that does not look uncomfortably ridiculous.

I think I have a return to make.

If anyone happens to be at Kohls and can hear some chick in the fitting room repeatedly jumping from the bench down to the floor, don't worry about it. It's just me testing the positional security of my clothes before I buy them.

Moving on in the week, you guys my hair, oh my gosh you guys! Ever since I mentioned in the post "Things That Make You Ask Why" that I straighten my hair because random stranger people touch my curls, I have been flooded with emails from readers asking me to revisit letting my curls fly free and tips on how to make them work for me.

Please see also: You guys know a lot about hair. More than I ever knew there was to know about hair. Thank you for all the tips and tricks! It's going to take me 3 years or so to wade through them all but eventually I'll get there.

Love you!

So in an effort to be receptive to your suggestions, I decided to try it out for a few days.

Here are the results.

The first day...not so bad! I used Loreal's Ever Curl conditioner, Frizz Ease, Moroccan Oil, and because I wasn't totally convinced commited at this point, I used a heavy dose of curl relaxing cream. I then let my hair air dry. The results were tolerable (although admittedly skewed since I went in pretty heavy on the curl relaxing cream). It always shocks me how much shorter my hair is when it's curly.

Day #2 I followed the same protocol. I forgot to take a picture before I left the house so you are all getting a selfie in the car

Unfortunately the second day did not end so well. This, THIS my friends is why I hate curly hair: 

My curls are so "ringlet" like that throughout the day they end up intertwining inside of each other and by the end of the day I have hair like a messy version of Nelly Oleson from "Little House on the Prairie," which seems to draw people in like bugs to a bug light. I had two different people touch my hair and ask how I get it to stay like that! Who walks up to a random stranger and touches their hair? Apparently a lot of people where I live. It wasn't even because my hair looked great, it just looked like I had a really odd fashion sense. That was enough for me so I threw in the towel and went back to straightening it. Reader Joel, are you reading this? I tried and failed!

Continuing on in my week of fashion failures, I was with my friend at the store and she bought some hair remover cream for her face. Because I am a horrible person I made fun of her. She assured me that every girl has at least fine hair on her face so I went home, promptly climbed onto the bathroom counter, pressed my face against the mirror, and found no evidence to back up her claim. While I was doing this she was reading the box and starting to freak out at some of the warnings. Because I felt like a horrible person for making fun of her, a girl that has gone along with a good majority of my wacky idea's, I felt that I owed it to her to show my support and I agreed to do a treatment with her.

The plan was to apply the cream as soon as we got up in the morning since we would have no make-up on and then we could wash it off in the shower. 

I wasn't exactly sure where I was supposed to be applying this so I just smeared it on my face exactly where the lady on the front of the box had it her face.

So here is me, fresh out of bed, no make-up on, and wearing hair remover cream. I can't believe I am posting this for the whole world to see, but oh well, by now you all know that I'm a dork anyways.

This was me a couple minutes into the experiment. I sent this photo to my friend as evidence that I was in fact holding up my end of the deal. 

It wasn't that bad until my entire freaking face started to feel as though it had been lit on fire!

About five minutes in my ENTIRE face started burning. Not just the area's where I had applied the cream, but my ENTIRE face. When I looked at the pictures later I could visibly see that my face was several shades redder than any other part of my body. Seriously, take a look!

That shit burns!! 

At least this time the burning was on my face and not on my lady bits, but still, I wasn't a fan.

I love my friend but I ended up abandoning the last five minutes of our little hair removal project and scrubbed the flesh eating cream off in the shower. No one tell her as she does not know about this.

She lost her mustache and I got a chemical peel. Good times!

This has been a strange week in the beauty department. Between showing everyone at the gym my boobs, having strangers touch my hair, and nearly burning my face off, I think I'm going to go back to the plain old regular Eden look. Keeping up with the fashion trends seems to be a little bit more work than I am willing to put in and after this week I think I like blending in!

Mostly I'm just lazy. I'll admit it.