Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Six Years Later, Perjury Caught Up With Him (Part One)


Wow. 

Just wow.

Four years since I started this blog, 387 posts later, and almost exactly six years since my ex abandoned me and the kids, I finally get to write this post.

This is it. 

This is THEE post that so many of you, including myself, have been waiting for since I started this blog in 2013.

What began with a few readers, has since led to millions of you following along, and it all culminates to this moment.

To recap for all of you who joined a bit later, it was 2012 when my abusive husband hit our baby, walked out the front door, and disappeared. A husband who I had been trying to leave for some time, in the end, simply vanished from my life after draining our bank account, maxing out our credit cards, quitting his job, ditching his vehicle, and shutting off his phone. 

In the aftermath of his disappearance, I quickly learned that while I had been a housewife tending to our family, he had been living a double life filled with drugs, affairs, Craigslist hook-ups, embezzlement, and a long-planned attempt to do exactly what he did. 

The more I discovered of his life, the more I was forced to reflect on my own, and in turn accept that much of what had led me there, had been because of what I was taught growing up. After much counseling, and some very difficult realizations, I disowned my entire family in an effort to create a new environment where my kids and I could grow, the right way.

For the next several years, my ex hid from us. Appearing in court only a handful of times, he made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with his previous life and had no intention of ever again seeing our kids again. Stating that he was unemployed and destitute, he managed to avoid being ordered to pay any real support.

Because of that, the kids and I lived in poverty. Feeding them from the food pantry, relying on welfare, and going without everything from birthday parties, to socks, I attempted to get back into the working world, and keep a roof over our heads. 

It was about this time, that many of you joined me in my journey. You watched as I struggled to try and pick up my life. You tuned in when I dated, and got my heart broken. You cried with me while I navigated the lonely world of only parenting, and dealt with the trauma of raising two kids who wanted to know if their daddy still loved them. You cautioned as I decided to start a nonprofit for other DV survivors, and you rejoiced when it actually worked.

Before I knew it, four years had gone by, and in those four years, a lot changed. I learned a lot about myself, got remarried, my two children fell in love with the only daddy they can now remember, and in just a few weeks, a third child will join our family.

But the issue of my ex never went away. In court dates that have spanned the entire existence of this blog, you saw that I never made much progress.

Repeatedly taking my ex to court for unpaid child support, he wasn’t held to much of an obligation, since he claimed to just as poor as I was. When he failed to complete a court ordered job search, the judge didn’t even impose the sentence he had threatened, because my ex cried that he was living in his car. And each time we would come to an agreement as to how he would begin to pay off his debt, he’d comply only for a while before going off the grid again.

Two years ago, when the judge finally told him to bring a check or bring his toothbrush because he was going to jail, I thought that I had won. But it suddenly came out that he had not been homeless, had actually remarried shortly after leaving me, and was busy raising two new daughters.

I was devastated.

He cried, and begged to not be taken away from his children, and in a surprising ruling that goes against what the law says is just, the judge decided not to uphold his previous ruling. There would be no jail time for my ex’s failure to comply with a court order, because it was deemed too damaging to the family he lived with now, and wouldn’t allow him the opportunity to provide for any of his kids.

I begged Mr. Attorney Man to do something, because I knew that my ex would never pay. I was tired of seeing him walk out of court on his good luck and lies. But he can’t change a ruling, and in the end my ex was a free man.

That night when I got home, I did what I probably should have done years ago, and I asked a friend to look for him on Facebook, because I figured he had blocked me. Sure enough, he and his wife popped right up. Through screenshots, it became evident that he was not poor, or homeless, but instead enjoying vacations to Vegas, attending festivals, and eating out.

I didn’t know what to do. When is enough, enough, and you need to accept that you've done all you can and it's time to move on?

In no big surprise, my ex failed to follow through on the newest court orders in place, and I was almost to the point of giving up, when The Boy Child was diagnosed with severe epilepsy. With medical bills stacking up and a financial shortfall that was affecting his quality of care, I was left with no choice but to once again turn to the person equally responsible for supporting my son.



I offered him a deal; pay a certain amount per week, and I wouldn’t come after him for everything else he owed me.

I didn’t want to go to court again, but my ex ignored all of my attempts at a civil resolution.

A petition was filed, and his financials were ordered to be turned over to my attorney.

For the first time since this ordeal had begun, my ex hired an attorney; a man who had six felony convictions, including homicide, and yet somehow still had a license to practice law. And on the day I received my ex’s financials, it became clear that he and his wife were far from poor; bringing in a six-figure salary between them, and very obviously hiding all of their assets under her name.

Looking over the case, my ex’s attorney reached out to mine, and admitted that they really had no case. “My guy owes the money, and there’s no way around it. But he doesn’t have an ability to pay, so I’d like to see if we can come to an agreement outside of court.”

I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of a deal, since my ex had never been one to follow through on his agreements, but I’d also never had much luck with the judge.

So when we arrived at the courthouse one morning in preparation to come to an agreement, I was taken aback at how pushy his attorney was, and how unhappy I was with what was being offered.

It was all too much, and much too rushed, and in the end when I said no deal, I angered nearly everyone when I left the courthouse without signing anything.

Soon after, my ex filed a motion to be removed as a responsible party to the extensive medical bills; claiming that his new family obligations meant that our children were too expensive for him to assist with.

But on the morning of the hearing for his petition and mine, he didn’t show up to court, and I learned that his wife had recently given birth to a third child.

I was furious.

His attorney once more offered a settlement; terms that stated his five-figure debt, would be paid down starting with a $2500 payment, given to me in two years.

I literally laughed out loud because the offer was so absurd, that it was utterly insulting.

“What do you want me to tell them?” Mr. Attorney asked.

“I don’t care if you even respond” I huffed.

Clearly, there was no real intention of having my ex ever pay what he owed.

Ten days later we showed up to the courthouse once again prepared and ready to go to hearing, only to be told that a custody issue had bumped us off the schedule.

Sitting in a conference room, I could hear Mr. Attorney Man and my ex’s attorney speaking in the hall.

“Your client is being unreasonable” the other attorney said. “There’s no way my client can pay. If we go to hearing, she’s going to end up getting less.”

“You have to understand” Mr. Attorney Man said, “that your client has come in year after year and perjured himself. My client is tired of it, and she isn’t willing to settle.”

It was two days later that the hearing finally got underway, and that is where this post really begins…

*************

Please tune in TOMORROW for Part Two!

Which you can now read by clicking here.

(This is what happens when a post ends up being 13 pages long...)


46 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh!! I want all 13 pages!! I want to strangle his attorney! I hate all of them.

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  2. I am having the time of my life watching you get everything you deserve! Love you girl! Can't wait for part 2!! <3

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  3. Seriously? I'm dying to know what happened!!!

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  4. Oh hurry hurry hurry! I've been waiting for several years to see what the judge is going to do!!

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  5. i hate that you left it as a cliffhanger but OMG!!!! i can’t wait to read the rest! ❤️

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  6. I am so glad I got to be part of this journey with you...good or bad, in it for the long haul <3

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  7. Looking forward to the next instalment!

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  8. I am excited for your next two posts and hearing all about your success (fingers crossed)!

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  9. I’m on the edge of my seat! Following you all these years, finally! I could not be happier for you and your kids!

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  10. I've been reading you for four years now and I'm so happy to see this all finally working out the way it's supposed to!

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  11. Come on ........I am dying to know what happened!!

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  12. i don’t want it to last!! i wanna read the rest of it, lol

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  13. It Is Not My Shame To Bear I wish my bitmoji was smiling. I’m impatient but happily waiting for tomorrow!

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  14. If I had read "part one" I would have been prepared for the cliff hanger but I didn't read the whole title

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  15. I'm sure that it is. Take the time you need to tell your story the best way you know how. :)

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  16. I’m so excited!!!!!!!!

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  17. I'm so happy to finally get to read about the deadbeat finally getting some just desserts! My heart is literally bursting for you, having followed you through the years I can only imagine the relief and vindication you finally get to claim! 💜

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  18. I straight up almost fell off my chair reading this post! HOW AM I EVEN GOING TO MAKE IT UNTIL TOMORROW?!! I'm not really yelling at you, but you know what I mean...can't wait!!!

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  19. I can't believe you are doing this to us!!! WAITING FOR THE REST!!!!

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    1. So sorry lol!! I had no idea the post would end up so long. I had a lot to say and I know you all love the details!!!

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  20. Karma!!! Love hearing about it!

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  21. Yes,you hear about cases like this far too often,and the kids are the ones who get the worst of it! My parents were always fighting and talking about divorce when they should have just done it and gotten it over with!

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  22. I cannot wait for tomorrow! I am truly happy that you may get something out of this, however......I NEED TO KNOW.....

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  23. The happiest thing for me is that fact that you are getting to write this (series of) post(s)!!!

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  24. I'm just a fan like all these other ladies. Your story was very similar to mine when I started reading and I have just been so excited for you. I appreciate being able to read and know you all are okay.

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  25. This is so exciting for your family!

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  26. YOU KEEP GOING!!!! and love you for the fact that you had to dump family to become whole. I get it.

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  27. Omg! YEEEEEES!!! Can’t wait for tomorrow!

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  28. I wanna read the next episode already

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  29. I can’t wait to read Part 2! I’m SO glad your piece of shit ex’s bad karma is FINALLY catching up with him! I don’t like his scumbag lawyer either! He should not be allowed to practice law! Ugh!

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  30. I have been waiting to read this post for the longest!!!
    You and those kiddies deserve some justice..

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  31. Waiting... Impatiently...

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  32. You give us all hope there is a rainbow after the storm

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  33. I need more!!!!! I’m so excited for more

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  34. Seriously?!?!?! WHY do you have to leave us hanging?!?!?!😂 I CANNOT wait to read the next part! I get so angry when I read about how horrible your ex is. I seriously hope the judge destroyed him!

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  35. Well, well, Eden, you finally got there. I am so happy for you! Looking forward to reading the next installment! It is good to see you getting some justice for all you have had to endure due to this jackwagon. I am trying not to cuss since the baby might be listening. lol Sending you much love from the East Coast.

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  36. Well, well, Eden. You finally got here. I am so glad to see that you will finally get justice for all you and the children have had to endure. Looking forward to reading the details of your huge victory! Sending you much love from the East Coast

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    1. Thanks for sticking with me all these years :)

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  37. I’m really happy for you. As a father who pays EVERYTHING for my kids and who deals with a dead beat mother I can tell you that at a certain point you just want to see some form of Justice dolled out. You don’t care how big or small, you just want to feel like the system is a little fair.

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  38. Yes yes yes!! Can’t wait to read more ☺️

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  39. Wow you are an amazing inspiration! 😍

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