Why did I call the police, which is something I never do because I don't trust the police? Because the guy at the car wash hit my car with his cleaner cart and refused to give me the business insurance information.
Why did I have a heart attack at work? Because I didn't look at my clients couch before I put my hand on it to lean over and clean the picture on the wall. FYI, mousetraps HURT. I somehow didn't see any of them. Not when I put my right hand on the couch and it snapped, not when I screamed and put my left hand on the couch, not when I backed away out of sheer terror and landed on the couch behind me. Not at any point did I see any mousetraps before they snapped. I mean really, how was I expected to be looking around logically with all the screaming and flailing around that was going on? Seriously though, that was quite stupid of me. Of course there would be mouse traps everywhere, I mean, why wouldn't there be?
Why do I have absolutely no idea what color the traffic light is? Oh yea and I hate this state.
Why do people leave broken glass where poor innocent housekeeper's could get hurt?
Why wouldn't I need the world's largest fly swatter? Oh yea, because I don't kill birds.
Why does this chocolate rabbit look like its thinking "you are going to do WHAT to me!?"
Why can I not find any jogging pants that fit me? This is an extra small in spandex "form fit" at Old Navy and they look like dress pants I could wear with heels. Too long and too baggy. Not cool, not cool.
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| #shortgirlproblems |
Why do I not understand the purpose of the peep hole in the door? Not to mention you can't see the even larger picture windows on either side of the door windows. What are you going to do, teleport yourself from wherever you were to directly in front of the peep hole so that you can discreetly check and see who is outside? I don't get it.
Why do some people think they are better than others? "Here, let me take up not only my parking spot, but the one's around me as well because I am going to cone off my car so that no one gets too close. I'm even going to put a little one on the hood of my car so that I remember to pick up the big cones before I drive away." Nice try buddy, lets take a vote on how long it takes before someone keys your precious little car.
Why do people touch me so often?
Why did I almost get in several accidents this week? Because some genius in my town thought it would be a great idea to start parking the trains EXTREMELY close to the railroad crossing. I'm aware that they do this so I make sure to look as I'm approaching the crossing, but other people are not as aware and so they wait until they are directly on the tracks to look out their window, see the train, and then they panic and slam on the gas to "get out of the way," rendering me almost rear ended. (I took these pictures on opposite ends of town)
Why do I look like I am wearing a bad Donald Trump wig? Because I took the kids swimming and I hate my curly hair. Even though I didn't get my whole head wet I got splashed enough to make it start curling and since my bangs are too short to actually curl, they do this Donald Trump thing. Geesh, I want celebrity hair but this was not what I had in mind. (P.S. I took four kids, ages 5, 3, 2, and 2 swimming and no one drown. Can I get a round of applause please?)
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| Courtesy of the locker room |
Why? So...you don't want us to call...but...you didn't feel the need to cover up the entire bumper sticker....so.... basically the message you are sending is "How's my driving? I don't really give a f**k what you think about it."
That's all for this week! Stay tuned for the next edition of "Things that make you ask why?"
>_> I just got my driver's license (go me!), and when I went to the DOL to get the actual license, I almost got hit by three different people within 30 seconds. :| Just, these people have licenses, and they weren't even paying attention. And the train tracks thing happens a lot in my town too.
ReplyDeleteHa! Get a helmet!!! Yay for your license!!
DeleteThe answer to all your questions is: So that Eden can write about it on her blog and make people all over the world laugh. :D
ReplyDeleteHaha! I'm glad you did not miss the point ;)
DeleteThat cut on your finger looked painful...wouldn't try something like that at home. (I also might not try to buy pants at Old Navy after this...not cool indeed.)
ReplyDeleteYea, it wasn't too fun. It actually sliced through my glove and was stuck in my finger!!
DeleteAs for Old Navy, the employee that let me into the fitting room was like "If you need any different sizes let me know" so I came out and was like "Uh...do you have any pants my size?" She said "Oh yes we do, we have a very large children's section." Gee....thanks.....
I'm 40 yrs old and still rocking pants from the children's section of Old Navy, no one seems to notice and hey they fit! I feel you on short girl problems. :)
DeleteHaha! Yay!! I like not being the only one wearing children's clothes ;)
DeleteYou're going too fast and ramming (Aries the Ram) into things all the time. Wouldn't be surprised if you were a fire sign (aries/leo/sag) esp if you were in the last few days of it. Esp now as we are nearing the end of aries you'll go even faster than usual!
ReplyDeleteI don't believe in astrology, but according to the chart I just googled, nope, I'm not a fire sign lol! Guess I'm just crazy! :)
DeleteI'm in a similar situation as you. Without astrology I'd be completely helpless.
DeleteThat's a lot of mouse traps. Yikes!
ReplyDeleteI'm not thin enough to wear the children's sizes, but I am short enough to wear them. Thus I'm stuck buying the women's pants and rolling them up because I don't know how to sew/hem them. ;)
Hahaha! I have lost many an outfit because a button has fallen off and that's pretty much it for me. I can sew, I just choose not too. ;)
DeleteHoly hell! Are all those mousetraps really there for mice? I'f they are, I'll say it again, gurrrrl, you have some guts! They couldn't pay me enough money to clean in that .......,mousehole. LOL And I would be soooo pissed about my car!
ReplyDeleteLove your extraordinary take on so many ordinary things!
Much love and many hugs from the East Coast
It turned out to be for their dog! I guess it scares the dog off the couch lol. But I did catch a mouse in someone's house once!!
DeleteI'm glad you enjoyed the post :) I like doing the "why?" posts, it keeps the days interesting when I'm always looking for weird stuff to take pictures of!
Hugs girl!!
Oh and yes, I was VERY MUCH not happy about my car. I mean I was suprised at first and it would have been fine, but the guy was SUCH a jerk and refused to give me the insurance info and then I was pretty mad. Let's just say my stern voice came out. Hehe
DeleteHopefully one day you will accept your curls. :) for the better part of forty years, I kept my hair short and used this or that product to keep the curl down. Then, one day during a series of life changes, my hair for long and I told the guy who does my hair to "do something with the curl". He was all "finally!" Since then my hair did something different every day, has a mind of its own, looks incredible, and has become a metaphor for sometimes letting life do what it does. :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, the ladies seem to like it. Just sayin'.
Ha! Maybe someday! What gets me is everyday is like "suprise!! This is what we are going to look like today!" There's no consistancy to it, I never have any idea what kind of crazy hair day it will be lol. Not to mention people touching it!! What is with people touching other people's hair. So creepy!!
DeleteI have dreads, I have learned to give a serious glare when I catch people with their hands hovering near my head without permission. Not that people take me all that seriously since I have a baby face and apparently dreadlocs are like magnets for people's hands. :)
DeleteHaha! What is wrong with people!!!!????
DeleteI have to ask though since I've always wondered, does it hurt your head to sleep on them?
Hehe not unless I am wearing cowrie shells in it. My hair is fairly soft. I also condition and mist it with jojoba oil it pretty regularly. My husband says it stings when I whip him in the face when I have it all pulled up in a loc soc though since it is really thick and just about bra strap length. He prefers I sleep with it loose but I end up with it tangled around my neck and in my face and his when I do. The longer it gets the more the reality of just how much hair I have becomes. Since I am planning to let it get waist length when dry (it's already waist length when wet, major shrinkage) I expect to be regularly entrapped by my own hair. :)
DeleteOk, there are some words in there that I have never before seen in the english language. I can't believe how heavy that must be to carry around! You must have a neck of steel my friend!!
DeleteThanks for the info, its all pretty interesting! :)
Hugs!!
I have very long thick hair (always have) with a decided wave to it (doesn't curl into little curls or ringlets or brillo frizz like Nicole Kidman's, it just ripples and S curves and basically does exactly like yours did in that one pic, especially if I don't get it cut in layers in front to sort of coax it into submission.) I usually wear the long back part in a big ponytail or loose braid mostly (with bangs and wisps in front around my face) and people are always grabbing or feeling my long "tail" in back, for some reason. (Yes, it's attached! No, it's not extensions! Actually they usually aren't checking that but just sort of hefting it to appreciate it, or so they claim.) One guy pulled on it and "toinked" it like a bell pull and then looked really embarrassed (his comment: "sorry, I couldn't resist...") So there must just be something about interesting looking hair in general, I guess. (My friend who was pregnant said that if THAT bothers me, I would hate getting ready to have a kid because your stomach is fair game for about 6 of the 9 months...!) And I know how Emmie feels with hers because when I sleep I can't wear it down or I'm fighting it. Not only do I have to tie it back, but I also have to double it up and fold it and tie it up too, so it isn't as long (and yes, I have "belted" my husband with it! It's like a club, he says!) But otherwise I lay on it and get pinned down by it, can't move my head and wake up with a stiff neck (maybe I should try a loc soc, they sort of wrap your hair up... I've been using stretchy fabric hairties.) I went to college with a Japanese Hawaiian girl (self proclaimed) and she used to sleep with her waist length straight black hair all loose and trickled around her everywhere and I used to be envious (I would be wrapped up by mine, or have stiff neck to the max.) Back to you and your wavy locks, I agree with Joel, you should embrace the natural tendency of it and maybe get some layers and encourage it and basically let it do what it wants to... (once you stop arguing with it your hair will be a lot of fun.) !
DeleteYes, even weirder than hair is when strangers touch your belly. Even weirder than that is when they get down and talk to it. No, I am absolutely not kidding. It is so uncomfortable!!
DeleteYou have a hair weapon!!Maybe one day I will come to embrace the craziness that is my hair, and when I do, I'm sure you will all be the first to know about it as I post about it on here lol. I should start having like "natural hair Fridays" or something and document it on here for you guys haha. Honestly that scares me a little bit.....
I forget which post, but you said once that you sing. Could we hear you sing please? Sorry I am just super curious.
ReplyDeleteHum...I'll have to see how to upload sound clipsvideo onto blogger. I'm not sure how! I can try :)
Delete