The visions can be illusions, the truth hidden by a mirage.
What is, isn't always what is, what was, isn't always what was.
The memories trick, the photos mislead, the things you saw were lies,
because what was really happening was hidden from your eyes.
You saw me growing up, you saw me as I grew,
but the life that I was leading was a life you never knew.
The things you saw were fronts while the truth was hidden away,
the memories you have of me were of a truth that went astray.
I played along with what you knew,
partaking in your view
of a life I wasn't leading,
my only life you knew.
I'm older now and looking back I see where things went wrong,
because every time you saw me I would simply play along.
I wanted the life you thought I had,
I wanted it so bad,
that I spent my precious years of youth
desperately hiding you from the truth.
I'm older now and looking back my heart is filled with pain,
because everything I hid from you was nothing I would gain.
In my naivety I thought that if I let you see
only what I wanted to that somehow I'd be free.
It didn't matter what I wanted it would simply never be,
because what I needed most was for you to notice me.
Sometimes the kids that need us to notice them the most,
are the ones who are trying the hardest not to be seen.
Stop Child Abuse
Look for what you aren't seeing in the things they just aren't showing you.
I can relate to this. Thanks so much for posting. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks hun :)
DeleteThis is just what I needed to read right now. Now that I've started to open up about the past to my father's side of the family, they have told me about things they observed my mother do before I was old enough to realize. All these years, I wondered why she did the things she did - it never occurred to me how it was all about hiding her alcoholism and general inability to be a mother. And after months of silence, I decided I'm finally ready to talk to her, that I'm going to go to my parents' house and do it this weekend. Now that I have this greater understanding, I feel like it's only now that I can officially put it in the past, as I have been trying to do since first leaving my hometown seven years ago. Just hoping it will work out in real life as well as it does in my mind.
ReplyDeleteWow, good luck!! I hope it goes well for you. Don't be surprised if she doesn't take any responsibility or show remorse, sometimes people caught off gaurd just get very defensive :(
DeleteI will be thinking of you!
A very thought-provoking poem, Eden! We all wear multiple persona's every day in order to hide parts of who we are from other people, and even from ourselves. I don't think we ever really truly know another person, and I think we know ourselves less than we often imagine. Your poem is a good reminder to pay better attention to the people around us, and not assume that what we see is what is really there. It's just too easy to brush aside the hints of something gone wrong in a child's life, so that you don't have to trouble yourself to intervene.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you!
Thanks :) It's sad how many people are struggling and other people just don't notice. We are all so busy we take everything at face value. Like the co-worker who you say "good morning how are you?" to everyday and they always reply "Im good how are you?" and then they commit suicide. :( So many struggling people! :(
Delete*hugs*
ReplyDelete*Hugs* back at ya!
DeleteI appreciate that child abuse is often hidden and very common. But do you think it's a good idea to assume kids are being abused? There is a major liability there so most people will not do anything even if they suspect it is the case. What signs should we look for and how can we use the knowledge to help the child? Can you please write a post about how you would advise people to intervene?
ReplyDeleteI think it's a good idea to be aware. Not assume, but be aware. I'm not a child abuse expert so honestly I don't know anymore than the general public does on what to look for, but if someone has abuse suspicions I would absolutely advise them to report it to local authorities. Anyone can make an anonymous report.
DeleteHere is a link with signs that may be a tip off to child abuse. I hope it helps!
http://www.safehorizon.org/page/10-signs-of-child-abuse-58.html
Beautiful and touching
ReplyDeleteI wish someone had noticed what I was going through as a kid too. Some people did find out but decided to partake by watching the abuse. Some people I even wrote letters to. But no one did nothing
#NOFAMILY
I'm sorry no one noticed you :( You didn't deserve that.
Delete