Wow.
So apparently an article of mine ran on Yahoo yesterday with a direct link to my blog.
Neat.
And...wow.
At this point my traffic counter has pretty much exploded.
So... welcome!!
I know that many of you have made your way over here to find out exactly what happened to my daughter's father.
Well, that story is a bit crazy and doesn't make me look real great, but it is what it is. As you have may have noticed by the title of this blog, I'm no longer ashamed to share what happened.
So if you are looking for the back story, start here.
Then after that, I hope you will stick around! We have a lot of fun over here :)
***If you are an email subscriber, you should be getting two emails this morning. Make sure to look for the other email with the "real" post for the day!**
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I have to say thank you for having the courage to even publish this blog. My situation is very similar to yours in many ways, and while I am just starting my journey I hope I can be half as strong as you have been.
ReplyDeleteAw thanks. You will get there, you will! I hope you stick around because there are a lot of awesome commentors who are in various stages of their own journeys, and it's been so helpful to us to know that we are not alone.
Delete*hugs*
I have you bookmarked now! I know we are all just people, but you are one of the people (at least a slightly public person) showing others that despite corruption making a damn good attempt at tripping us up, that we don't have to be the same evil that tried to poison us. We are not the actions put against us. We are not our mothers (who never should of had us). We are not our fathers (who could of dumped their genetics into a napkin and completed the same amount of fathering). We are not the people who never asked for permission before they tried to fill their emptiness with taking and leaving behind pain.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, we are our own people and there is no shame in what happened TO us.
DeleteSo glad you have found your way here :)
*If it's easier you can subscribe on the right hand side and it sends new posts to your email. Or Facebook the blog.
I feel exactly the same way you do. He left because he is a selfish person. My kids ask me all the time, what exactly happened, and to this day (it has been 3 yrs.) I'm still not sure. I do know we have a lot more fun without him, not to mention a lot more love, and peace in our lives. It just goes to show, he was the one who was wrong, not us.
ReplyDeleteI don't think there is ever the "perfect" answer, we just do the best we can and unfortunately our kids will still be left to figure out some of it themselves. :(
DeleteAside from the obvious trauma of losing the kids father, I'm glad things are better for you :)
I'm a single dad. I'm 33 and my daughter is 7. Her mom was around for about 3 years but due to her own reasons she hasn't made an attempt to see or be in her daughters life and I wish she would. I get no support financially and I feel like because I'm a male that stereotypically there is less sympathy than if I were a single mom. I never hear anything about organizations or groups dedicated to single parents or dads just moms and there are a lot of single dads out there that don't get any pub. I feel bad for all single parents. I haven't dated in a couple of years, I have no family in Arizona as all my family lives in Oregon so it's difficult to find somebody to watch her. I never say anything bad about her mom, I feel horrible when they have to do Mother's Day projects at school with the moms. I tell her that without her mom I wouldn't have her so I'm always going to be greatful for that
ReplyDeleteAw I'm sorry to hear that. It makes me so sad, even after I've been "broken in" by my own situation, to think about kids missing a parent. I have just recently seen a slew of single father things pop up, but you are right, it's definitely not a common topic. Kudos to you for being a REAL man and taking care of your daughter. She is extremely lucky to have you!
DeleteOh great, another huge wave of people.... This means we can look forward to the horde of bitter anonymous commenters ready to pass judgment on everything you do.
ReplyDeleteActually, you handle it all really well, even the crazies, so I always look forward to what happens next!
Congrats on the Yahoo bump.
Haha!! If you want to see crazy, check out the comments on the article on Yahoo. I about cried! Those people are HORRENDOUSLY mean!
DeleteNever read Yahoo comments. Never. Even the most innocent, fluffy unicorn and puppy dog stories with rainbows bring out the crazy.
DeleteRIGHT!? My editor even warned me!!
DeleteAgreed. ...congrats on the Yahoo bump! ♡
ReplyDeleteThanks! *hugs*
DeleteI was almost that mean comment... but I wanted to know the back story. I spent the past day reading your entire archive. I just want to hug you now! My experience with my parents was not all that different than yours, but its better now. I also left an escalating abusive marriage (nowhere near the same caliber, but heading towards Lifetime movie status). I have a hubby that's wonderful and stepkids, so I reacted from that standpoint, but honestly, with everything that has happened, you were just being honest with girl child. You have a new reader cheering you on!
ReplyDeleteWell I'm glad you made it over here to change your mind :)
DeleteI'm THRILLED to hear that you now have the family you deserve :) Can't wait to "see" more of you around here!
*hugs*
I know you and I love you. Women who have been through what you have can be very sensitive to the world we live in now: a unapologetic society that over sexualizes, oppresses and brutalizes women. I remember being talked into watching that show True Detective, with Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey. I was told about the rave reviews it had received from audiences and critics alike, but when I watched it I was completely disgusted and traumatized by how, in the very beginning, a young beautiful woman was raped, mutilated and murdered while posed nude in a suggestive and openly degrading fashion and all the while her body was serving as a back drop to Woody and Matthew's banal conversation about inviting him over to have dinner with his family. I had it turned off. How can that be viewed as entertainment? I refused to allow myself to be subjected that kind of psychological abuse nor be brainwashed into becoming desensitized by that kind of mistreatment of women. I couldn't believe that Matthew McConaughey, having daughters of his own, could allow this sort of statement and imagery about the lack of value of women, our bodies and our dignity. There doesn't seem to be a show nowadays in which a woman isn't being murdered, raped, victimized and violated in some way (or multiple women).
ReplyDeleteWhat really terrifies me is how early this hatred of females is being demonstrated, tolerated and perpetuated by both men and woman in our society that hold trusted positions. There was a girl that was reported to have been bullied, sexually harassed and assaulted on school grounds by two male students at a kindergarten thru 11th grade school. When the parents reported it to the school, it was believed and documented that the Harmony school administration retaliated by re-victimizing the girl, accusing her of reverse bullying by speaking about abuse, told her and three other girls (who were aware of the abuse) to not talk about the abuse to anyone (not even their parents) and when a girl asked to call home-she was denied. From that point on the parents believed the boys were being protected and the victim was being attacked through retaliation, character assassination, isolation from teachers and peers, and her rights were being violated, etc. There were several allegations made that the parents and child's constitutional rights were violated and that they were denied their rights to the grievance process, particularly by the superintendent himself. The public charter school receives federal tax payer funding and is a public school but seems to be run by a private entity with a predominantly male Turkish administration (many of them believed to be non-US citizens and potentially here on visas). The parents feel that their daughter is being discriminated against because the PUBLIC school seems to be implementing Turkish ideals (Sharia law) and not enforcing US laws and because the victim is female she may be seen as secondary to her male counterparts and therefore may be viewed as have less value. At least one of the boys accused, is believed to be Turkish, and his potentially Turkish father was reported to be a prominent member in the school community. The worst thing, this is happening in one of the proudest US states... TEXAS and the Texas Commissioner of Education designee recently ruled that, in spite of a long list of alleged abuses and violations, because it is an open-enrollment charter school, the Commissioner has no jurisdiction in this case.
It's not enough to protect ourselves as women. We must fight to protect our children. We must protect our little girls from being victims and our little boys from becoming abusers. But how?