Things That Make You Ask "Why?" Part 11

It's been much too long since we've done one of these posts!! And since it's the middle of the week and we are halfway from the fun of the previous weekend and still have a few more days until we make it to the next one, now seems like the perfect time for a good chuckle. So without further ado, I bring you another addition of "Things That Make You Ask Why?"

All photos are courtesy of my cellphone and the strange life I lead.

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Why is this guy breaking the law?

Because it's illegal to have nuts hanging from your car. I know this because while sitting behind this car at the gas station, I Googled truck nuts to see if they really were nuts or if I just had a dirty mind.

They are real, and also really illegal. Huh.

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And speaking of trucks, what is this? Why would a truck need a sign like this? Am I unaware that truck pushing is an actual problem that truck companies have to deal with? Pushing them where? Out of the way when they drive too slowly? I mean I just... I don't get it.

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And again, why do I have such a dirty mind?

Because people just make it so damn easy for me!! Tell me that NO ONE realized they were building a dick here (or in the 8 other places these were placed). I guarantee you that the designer was giggling a little bit when he sold this design, because there is just no way that no one noticed that this is CLEARLY A GIANT DICK.

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Why am I sometimes thankful for my dirty mind? Because I may have accidentally ended up at a happy endings massage place if I hadn't picked up on the innuendos in this ad.

Several months back I appeared as a guest on a talk show, and they gave me a gift certificate that could be used at several different massage places. I was looking through the list and Googling the names to see if I could find one that I might like (I was looking for something organic), but... I'm thinking that I will just go ahead and take this particular one off my list. Maybe I'll keep it in mind if the Mr. and I don't work out. Or if I'm feeling the need to be "totally comfortable. And comforted. With a massage so friendly, it will blow my mind."

Now wouldn't that be quite the blog post.

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Why would you post the exact reason for needing clothes?

Because here's the thing dude, I'm a nice person. If I had the clothes, I'd give them to you. But now that I know you just got out of jail, I'm less likely to want to meet you somewhere because I know that there is a higher probability that I may be kidnapped or harmed in some way, especially since you sound like a pretty big dude and I'm not sure that I could take you down in the event that I might need to.

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Why did I take my TV remote control with me to work?

I have absolutely no idea. It was a rushed morning, don't judge me.

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Speaking of rushed mornings, why not grab breakfast on the go?

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Uh... why?

No one on my Facebook knew why either. Apparently the sales pitch department was really scraping the bottom of the barrel on that one.

"Excuse me, I have a toddler with a drinking problem. Which car seat do you recommend?"

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Why were the kids screaming that they could see a tornado?

Because it totally looked like a tornado was over my friends house.

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Why not climb into my bed and take a nap while wearing swimming goggles?

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WHY? I literally don't even know what to put here. Why would this seem like a good idea? Why would any parent allow this? Why has this kid not died yet? And how, HOW do you ride something like this without losing all your teeth!?

Why yes, that is a skateboard powered by a leaf blower, held on by a bungy cord.

HOW???

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Why not have a family reunion on a Facebook sales site?

Obviously that poor woman is going through a hardship and I feel bad for her, but how strange to come across a family reunion on a a sales site! $10 bucks says that happens to me at some point with my mother... although I would not be handing out my number...

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Why am I a big dork? Because this always makes me laugh. See, it's not "automatic" because you have the pull the paper towels out yourself. It's just "matic."

I know, it's not even funny, and yet I laugh. Because it's not automatic. You have to do the work yourself. So it's just matic. HAHAHA.

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Why is this man's butt eating his pants? Why am I even looking at it?

I don't know!! I couldn't stop!! AAHHH!!!

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Why not carpet the walls of the children's play area at the auto shop? 

"These kids look crazy and we don't have a lot of room so we had better carpet the walls too."

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Why does this ad remind me of my family? Because the girl looks like she is crying from a broken arm or something and everyone else appears to be laughing at her — especially the mother.

Since this was posted at the pharmacy reminding you to get regular medical attention, I literally have no idea what this picture is about!!

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Uhhhh...why did I find my underwear laying on the floor in the garage? 

No seriously, why did I come home from work to find a pair of my underwear laying on the floor in the garage?

I have literally no idea.

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Why not let your 9 (?) year old son wear a shirt like this to the YMCA?

On the front of the shirt, the bikini clad girls were leaning on the car with their boobs popping out, and from the back they were handcuffed.

There are too many reasons why I would never allow this. Like maybe a million or more. In fact, there are definitely more.

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Why is this broken robot hand the best toy ever?

Because one of the fingers broke and when you squeeze the handle, one doesn't grasp anymore. The perfect one.

I know, I know, I'm so juvenile, but every single time I go over to my friends house and see this toy, I want to steal it so that I can tap on car windows of the people who are annoying me in the lane next to me.

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Why does it feel like this family fun center has kind of any angry vibe to it?

Maybe because this is the sign that greets you on the front door.

Apparently too many people wanted cake? NO SOUP FOR YOU.

I also find it strange that throwing away spatulas was such a problem that they needed to make multiple signs about the issue and hang them all over the dining area.

I mean I get it, no one likes to find out that someone threw away a perfectly good spatula, but still. Maybe I'm just reeling from the fact that I can't have cake unless I schedule a party. I like cake.

But what I found most disturbing were the prizes that you could buy with your tickets. Is duct tape a hot item that the kids are after? Can you buy it in a bundle pack with the rope?

If you save up enough tickets, can you buy a shovel?

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Why buy an ottoman when you can just make your own?

My friend's creative mom couldn't find a reason either!

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Why does this car's dashboard appear to be plugged into the engine from an extension cord running through the window?

No seriously, I'm asking. What are they doing? Please leave comments explaining this.

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Why not decorate a common area with an ottoman made of grass?

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Why was I not even a little surprised when I walked into the Chiropractic office that I work at for a couple hours a week, and see the massage therapist massaging the secretary's butt?

Because this is a regular occurrence and I guess I'm just used to it by now.

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Why wouldn't you cover your car in bullet hole stickers? I mean really, why not?

I get it, I see that it's some kind of war tribute, maybe a Veteran, but I've just never seen so many bullet holes!

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Why did I happen to look out the window while working at the chiropractor's office, and laugh like I was 12?

Tell me that's not a little funny.

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And lastly, why not get gas here? Do you think they have a membership card? Fill up ten 1957 Ford Thunderbird's and get a free date to the sock hop?

I'll inquire and get back to you.

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Well, that's it for me. Now, since I (hopefully) gave you all a few laughs, I'd appreciate it if you could return the favor and post your goofy photo's to my Facebook wall and make me laugh!

I can't wait to see what you have!!

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If you enjoyed this post, check out the rest of the "Things That Make You Ask Why?" series by clicking here.