Another Round Of "Why On Earth Would I Buy That?"

I had so much fun writing the "Why On Earth Would I Buy That?" post during Christmas, that I decided to do another one. Are you guys OK with that? I just feel like I come across so many strange things for sale, that I really want the rest of you to agree laugh with me that you would never buy that are unsure of its purpose.

Like this for example

I mean... really? REALLY? Because when I see this toilet, I see two things in your future: A divorce, or a codependency diagnosis.

Seriously, don't get your wife a double toilet, get her the most romantic card that you can find, like this one that I saw on sale last Valentine's Day:

I really just have one issue with this card: Everyone knows that "shiv" is a noun and the verb should have been "to shank."

Don't get me this card mkay? The grammar would kill me.

I'm just sayin', if you're going to sell something, use your words to come up with the best sales pitch that you can think of, like this person that I saw selling a basket on a local sales site:

He's right. With all those possibilities, how could you not want to buy his ginormous basket?

And if he hasn't sold you, or the price was too high ($999 was a bit steep), maybe this lady will because her sales pitch, if anything else, is unique.

You had better hurry, there's only seven nasty ass drinks left!

But don't worry, if you happen to miss out on the free drinks, I have something that will still brighten your day! Do you hate washing dishes?

I do, which was why I was so THRILLED when I came across this edible spoon maker!

Now I'll never have to wash dishes again!

I'm not really sure how much time I'll be saving on dish washing since I have to take the time to make and bake the spoons... and I'm not exactly sure how I'm supposed to make the batter without any dishes (since the point is to avoid washing dishes), but I'm sure that's irrelevant. This is America you know, and we will buy anything!!!

And apparently, try to sell anything:

Now those people, they're doing it right.

But this person... the jury is still out. I'll let you decide. 

Would you sell something that was previously covered in urine? Or buy it??

I guess the only valid reason why you might not buy an item previously covered in urine, is because you are saving your money for this baby!!!

BOOM!

That car is SURE to get you some ladies!

Just like this beauty!

(Because nothing says "welcome to my home" like a place to hang your purse and gun).

Now this sale, I drove past it on my way to... actually I can't remember... but I do remember pulling a u-turn so that I could drive by it again and take a picture.

Anyone care to sing with me? "One of these things is not like the other..."

I'm telling you, you are one mislabeled item away from a tragedy... or a really big cat...

And speaking of strange, this combo just seems a bit random to me...

I dunno, maybe I'm just out of the loop, because I also don't understand this combo:

They say "ramen," I say "no thanks, I do not want to eat your burger made out of a bun that looks like maggots."

Nope, I'd rather go eat a chocolate bunny the size of my first born child:

In fact, maybe I'll buy two.

Because this is America, and in America, we will buy anything!!!

***************

If You Liked This Post, Make Sure To Check Out The First Edition Of "Why On Earth Would I Buy That?"