...And Then A Squirrel Pooped On My Face

I'm not sure how many of you were around a few years ago, but back in 2014 I shared my horrific ridiculous tale of attempting to visit several pumpkin farms, with the goal of snapping the perfect fall photo of my kids.

#BackWhenIHadGoals

#BackWhenMyGoalsWereStupid

But if you do remember, it didn't go well.

AT ALL.

Unless of course by "going well," you mean needing to pry a bee out of the Platonic Husband's hair with a stick, nearly being run over by a horse, the kids falling into a burr bush, possible poison ivy, and a corn maze that involved a near rescue effort and the abandonment of clothing.

I lean towards the understanding that when you consider all of that, it means that it did not go well.

#TrustMeOnThis

#IWasThere

#IWishIHadn'tBeenThere

But two years later, the insanity crisp fall air began to set in and I had mostly forgotten about that near death experience adventure filled trip to the pumpkin farm, and I had a thought that sounded something like this: "Hey, wouldn't it be great to get some fall pictures of the kids at a pumpkin farm?"

#SomeoneStopMe

#NoOneDid

And thus I found myself trekking out to the pumpkin farm with my Platonic Hubby, (and her hubby, and my guy, and all our kids) so that we could take the world's most adorable pictures of our kids.

#UnrealisticExpectations

I Felt REALLY High

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Hey everyone!

I'm sorry it's been a little quiet around here. As many of you probably know, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and as the founder of a DV organization, October tends to go by in a blur of awareness events, meetings, and speaking engagements, and this year has proved to be no exception!

In fact, I have a speaking engagement in less than two hours and I haven't even written my speech yet! I'm literally sitting in bed, in my underwear, writing this, because I felt bad leaving you all hanging for this long.

The Truth Will Set You Free

*******

A couple weeks ago on a Saturday night, I picked up the phone, and to my shock, horror, and surprise, there was a Facebook message from the woman that I believed my ex was cheating on me with during a portion of my marriage.

That would make her the woman that he was cheating with, before the woman that he was cheating with and left me for.

Does that make sense?

Hopefully, because we are moving on.

I almost hesitate to write about it because the timing of it coming right after my resolution to let go of the anger, most likely makes it seem completely staged, but it wasn’t. It really happened and if you care to stick around and hear about it, sweet deal, and if you don’t want to believe me, then you can mosey on along and it’s no sweat off my back.

But anyway, years ago when I was still married, my ex had everything electronic in our house on lock down. I couldn’t use the desktop computer without him unlocking it, he had his own laptop that I could never get into, and he had his phone locked and refused to ever let me use it.

Then, one night while I was sitting there nursing our son and paying some bills, I asked him to get my phone so that I could use the calculator. Being too lazy to actually get up and get it, he, for the first time ever, unlocked his phone and handed it to me.

Now everyone knows that the first time someone gives you access to something that you have been never been allowed to access before, that the smart thing to do would be to earn some trust by proving that you can be trusted, and not snoop.

Too bad I never do the “right” thing.