Monday, July 14, 2014


I had a funny story that I was planning to post today, seeing as how this place has been a bit more serious lately than it has been in past times, but unfortunately an issue of greater importance has arisen.

For those of you who read the comments, you know that the trolls have been hitting this blog really hard for the last few weeks. Comments, emails, and threads outside of this blog, most spawned by the same one or two people, have cast an ever present dark shadow over the safe place that this was supposed to be.

“You are such a whore, you deserve to be raped the way you tease men. I hope someone does it again since you sure didn’t learn your lesson the first time around.”

“If anything you are saying really is true, then why even bother going on? Why don’t you just shut your mouth and stop whining about it online; do the world a favor and just disappear.”

“Eden is maladjusted and creates the drama that is in her life. She needs to grow up and just get over the fact that she didn’t have the childhood she wanted. What 30 year old still thinks about their childhood anyways?”

“I can’t believe anyone would continue to read the awful writing that is Eden Strong. All of her pathetic little readers cheering on her pathetic little life are just as pathetic as she is.”

“Someone needs to figure out who this lady is and have her children removed from her home. Clearly she is unstable, no wonder her husband ran for his life. Whatever judge awarded her custody should be fired immediately. Those poor kids are ruined for life.”

“No way is this lady for real. There is absolutely no way anyone could have lived a life like that. I’ve never seen such bad writing in my life. She reads like a high school wannabe writer, pretending that she lives this fantasy life, and you are all falling for it like the idiots that you are.”

“The only reason anyone reads your blog is because you are pretty. No one cares what you have to say and no one gives a shit about you. The only reason you even have a blog is because you have the body to make up for your thoughtless brain.”

"I can't believe you are all reading the rants of a narcissistic psychopath. Clearly this girl needs help."

Those are just a few of the phrases that have either been posted on my blog, a site thread created about me, or emailed to me over the last week alone.

Maybe the trolls are right and you guys have been coming here day after day just to waste your time reading the bullshit that I write; or maybe I’m not even a real person at all and you are being brainwashed by the mythical life that I have born from a severe mental illness.

Maybe I should just pull this blog down.

I thought about it.

Who in their right mind would want to read stuff written like that about them on a daily basis? Why would I want to continue to subject myself to the same hateful attitudes that I have grown up surrounded by?

I almost did pull it down and then I reflected on the other emails that I get in my inbox. Do you guys have any idea how many people read this blog? If you could see how many emails I get on a daily basis you would be floored.

“I’ve really been thinking lately about ending my life, but your blog showed me that I can go on, that there can be happiness after the pain. Not only just you, but I see people commenting all the time that they have come through it and are moving on with their lives. It’s good to know that I’m not alone.”

“Thank you for letting me know that I am worth something. Thank you for being the only person that is telling me that I am beautiful and special just because I am who I am. No one has told me that in a really long time and I really needed to hear that.”

“I finally told my mom that I had been raped. You and your readers helped me see that the guilt was not mine to own. I think after years of depression I can finally start healing.”

“I didn’t know that there were other people who had disowned their parents. I was looking all over online to find someone who understood what I was going through and through your blog I found a whole group of people. I don’t comment because even as anonymous it still feels scary to me, but I feel like I know you and all your readers personally. Thank you for putting this together for the people like me who were never wanted. Here I feel special.”

“My husband also left me after abusing me for years and I’ve never been so ashamed in my life. Thank you for showing me that his problems are not a reflection of the person that I am.”

For every negative email that I get, I get close to a hundred more that remind me of why I am doing this.

This blog has been up since October but really only out in the public since the end of December. In a little less than seven months I have responded to over 7,000 comments and have received emails numbering in the 15,000 range. No, I am absolutely not exaggerating. Between my facebook page, the blog, and Google+, it has had views numbering in the millions.


All because I decided I was tired of not saying what I’ve wanted to be screaming for my entire life.

Through my traffic reader I can see the Google searches that are leading people to my page; the top two search results being "boyfriend application" and "his wife found out about us," both landing them here from the two silly posts “Boyfriend Application” and “His Wife Found Out We Were Dating.”

The other top contenders?

Was I raped?
Was it my fault that I got raped?
Is it still rape if we are married?
Did I rape her?
Am I abusing her?
How do I tell anyone that I was raped?
I don’t think I can go on.
Am I raping her if we are married?
My parents are abusing me.
Was I abused as a child?
I’m an adult and my parents are still abusing me.

Those are all regular searches that are leading people to this blog.

That makes me so incredibly sad to see how many broken people there are. I am glad though that they have found their way here, to a place where so many broken people come to pick up our pieces and start putting ourselves back together.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because I’ve noticed a new trend in the emails that I have gotten lately; women emailing me telling me that they are being abused, that they want to tell someone, but that because of the comments they are reading on this blog, that they are afraid of not being believed as well. Women that are afraid of what people will think of them due to the very issues that I am trying so hard to break the stigma on. Emails that read “you are one of the most confident people and yet you are still being bullied for things that happened to you, so what chance do I stand?”

This is completely and utterly unacceptable.

Originally I was not moderating the comments on this blog because I do not believe in censoring out the doubters. I didn’t believe in making this a Utopian blog where everyone loves me and nobody is allowed an opinion otherwise.

With that being said, I also don’t believe in bullying and that is where we seem to have arrived at. It isn't differing opinions that I am up against. It isn't a respectfully raised question. It is an all out assault on every part of who I am.

What is wrong with you trolls, seriously? I simply do not understand the mindset of someone who would so heavily involve themselves in hating on someone else. How pathetic does your life have to be that you feel the need to feel superior to someone that you don’t even know? How hateful and black is your heart that you cannot even allow for the tiniest of possibilities that I am a real person, living through the things that I am, and that I really am trying to heal? Has your heart been so fossilized that you simply cannot accept that I might actually exist? Would you even care if it turned out that you were the one who was wrong? What causes a person to get a thrill out of banding together with other hateful people, cheering each other on as you kick a person that is down? Who gave you the right to pass judgment on someone? 

Are you that perfect in real life?

I feel really sorry for you on many levels, for many different reasons.

From now on I will be deleting the negative comments. There are too many people that have come here to heal and they are being chased away by the same types of bullies that they deal with in their life outside of the Internet.

My intention was to not silence the doubters, but what happened was the doubters are silencing the broken. Healing is being halted and the voices that want to scream from the darkness are barely able to whisper from their corners, afraid of who might overhear them calling for help.

People that are finding this blog out of a need to be heard are being reminded of why they have kept their mouths shut in the first place.

I cannot in good conscious allow this to continue.

I took it upon myself to do a little research into the psychology behind trolling and what I found was not surprising at all. There have been several large studies done on the behavior traits and psychology of trolls. Did you know that when scientists studied people who enjoyed trolling, they found that a troll’s mental psychology is most similar to those of psychopaths and sadists?

Yep, that’s true.

Sadism and psychopathy are mental disorders in which a person lacks empathy for other people. The actions of sadists and psychopaths carry an intention to cause destruction, mayhem, and pain for someone else with no other desired outcome than to enjoy the reactions of the people they are intending to hurt.

Basically the people that I’m letting scream and shout in the comments section are the last people anyone in the world should be listening too.

Fun times.

So with that being said, I’m going to start censoring the comments section a little more heavily.

This place, as I have said before, is a place of healing. It is a place where people from all over the world can come to say the things that have silenced them for so many years; the things that if left unheard will smother out the people that they were meant to be.

These people, myself included, have every right to heal from the abuses that others have reigned down upon them and I refuse to allow the abusive behavior to continue on my blog.

Sorry trolls sadists and psychopaths, you are going to have to find somewhere else to scream because I’ve had just about enough of you. You don't like me? Fine. Trust me, you can't hurt me any more than everyone else in my life already has, but what you are doing is hurting other people who are struggling to heal and you don't even care.

Also, as you so much love to tell me, please, seek some help. It really is sad to watch you behaving like this.

To all of you who are just looking for a place to cry, a place to laugh, and a place to heal, welcome. I don't think any of you have any idea how many of you there are here, but we are all here together.

Let's continue to make this a place of support; a place where the souls who have been silenced the most can finally be heard. A place where everyone can be accepted for who they are and celebrated for their uniqueness. A place where you guys can come week after week just to laugh at the crazy situations that I seem to get myself into.

This place is the beginning of a journey for a lot of hurting people that stumble upon it on a daily basis. I will not allow it to be the stopping point in their healing journey as well.

Please remember that your comments are spreading farther than you can even imagine.

Please take a minute and leave a comment to the one's still reading from their dark corners of hurt. Tell them something that you wish someone had told you.

To all my readers new and old, I've said it since day one and I'll say it again. Despite your past, despite what anyone may have told you, 

You are amazing. You are precious. You are smart. You are beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you differently and don't ever forget it because you are loved.

Photo Credits


  1. I love you Eden. :) Please don't ever take down the blog just because of some trolls.

    1. This, cliched as it may be, is what I would like to tell any person hurting:

      You are safe now. You have a future. This isn't the end.

      Everything, good and bad, eventually will pass. In the future everything will be different, everything you think will be different and your surroundings will change. It may seem impossible now, but if you stick through it, time will pass, and before you know it (you'll realize one day), you are out of that ditch.

      What you are going through now is not meaningless, but you will have many more and different meaningful experiences in the future. Hold on.

      No experiences are wasted. You are not behind others because of the years you missed, you are only ahead of them in different ways.

      If you are trapped in the thought that you deserve to continue suffering, I tell you that you have done enough. You have suffered enough to repay your debts. You are absolved of your shame.

      If you are in a situation like Eden where someone is actively still making life difficult for you, be assured that he is the one who is wrong. Stay strong and don't cave in, and especially don't betray your morals. I'm sorry I don't what else to say about situations like these, except that it's inevitable that something will change.

      If you are dealing with a lot of rage and bitterness, I know Eden said you "simply let it go". That is never satisfying and possibly the hardest thing in the world. I would give the advice that on top of the fact that time will lessen your anger, you can do activities that empower you. There's always something you can find to grasp in your life and feel in control over. It can be fitness if you're good at that, or tending a garden, or having pets, or making over your room. Some outlet away from where your conflicts originated. You will feel more accomplished, you will get exercise, and you won't be able to sink as deep into thought. It won't solve your problems by any means but it will help you get through them.

      If you are an abuser or former abuser, you should stop this instant. What you have done is wrong AND YOU KNOW IT. It's true that the past is the past, but if at all possible, make amends in every way. Take a few minutes to consider the suffering you have caused the other person. Make reparations for your sins. Never do them again. Make yourself useful now; more than just abstaining from abusing, actively do good deeds while remaining conscious of your past abuses. To not acknowledge them would be an insult to your past victims first and foremost, even if ignoring them would be a benefit to you and the people you meet in the future. (Sorry for being confusing. Feel free to critique.)

      You have good inside of you. You carry it with you wherever you go. You are not utterly broken or evil. You have done goods deeds and can do more.

      No one deserves to remain penitent forever, but acknowledge your wrongs and do everything in your power to right them (I think it's an old proverb...). Then never do them again. Do good.

      Victims, own your past suffering, because it made you wise. It was substantial and it was real. Now you have the chance to not be a victim anymore. You can be free now and help others currently struggling, like Eden does. (Too much preaching?)

    2. Thank you :)

      Also, what AWESOME advice. Thank you so much for sharing that! Even though most people don't comment, I garuntee you have helped quite a few people who read that.

      Thank you ;)

  2. Please ignore the trolls. They are losers who who want everyone to feel as bad as they feel about themselves.

    1. I agree :)

      I've got my moderator hat on now!


  3. I love your blog. I find you inspirational, and I look forward to your triumphs. I don't understand the people who come here to drag you down - I think you've had quite enough of that in your life. Please continue writing, I am not the only person who likes to see you winning.

    1. Aw thank you :)

      It sucks sometimes when the haters scream louder than anyone else, but I see through my emails how many people are reading and applying the supportive comments to their own lives so that helps.

      Thank you guys for always being here for me and all of us!

      You all mean the world to me!

  4. Eden - Let me just say that some of those comments sound like they come from people you used to know and are looking to continue the psychological damage the easiest way anyone knows how. Anonymous comments. I feel no pity for anyone who believes that poking the animal in the cage is a fun sport, let alone needs to spread the misery.
    And as for the person that asked "What 30 year old still thinks of their childhood anyways?" Lots of people do. Whether it was good or bad, certain smells and events trigger memories and takes it back to certain times in our lives.
    The internet has made it easy for those with incredible malicious intent to spread their "poor little righteous me act" everywhere. I find I am more annoyed than offended. I have no pity for their shitty lives or their shitty outlook. When folks look to get a rise out of someone just because, meh, piss on them and the lousy life they lead straight to hell. You keep doing what you are doing because people need to be aware of domestic violence at every level and how it happens. Someone doesn't believe your story? Who cares. Others do and that is all that matters.
    Hugs to you,

    1. After reading some of the comments in serial format, I agree that the troll may very well be someone who knows you, and is continuing the acts of abuse.

      I'm glad you've decided to moderate. It's not about silencing the doubters. It's about creating a safe place for not only you, but for others who are struggling with similar problems.

    2. Thank you guys. It's crazy to me that you are all going through this with me.

      Sometimes I feel like I am the crazy one! Who in their right mind suddenly decides to let the entire world watch them heal from trauma?

      Me. ((shakes head)) lol.

      Thank you guys for reminding me of the things that I need to hear sometimes. It is scary how the internet brings out the evil in people. They thrive on the fact that their seem to be no obvious consequences to them so they can get away with anything. So sad ;( Also, it's really scary to see how many evil people walk among us silently.

      I really don't think that it is anyone that knows me just based on the fact that they don't seem to have any real info. Their "facts" are all messed up and if they really wanted to hurt me they would probably be providing personal details that I don't want the entire world to know about.

      With that being said though, I guess you never really know!

  5. I am glad you have decided to silence the trolls, And, if I had one thing I had always wished I had understood it is this...YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!!

    1. Aw thanks hun! Hearing that never gets old, so thank you :)

  6. GOOD FOR YOU. I haven't been through exactly what you have but my mom died of brain cancer last year and I don't have a relationship with my father as he is a raging alcoholic who basically abandoned us 25 years ago (which according to the trolls I should be over by now)! I read your blog because even though my life is lovely now, sometimes I still feel crappy for the loss! Sometimes I still can't believe I've been through so much awful! Your blog and writing, and the people who comment and share just remind me I AM NOT ALONE. We're all trying to move forward, we're all trying to be the best we can, and it is wonderful to have a place to visit to remember that life is not all fake Facebook perfect. It's complicated, hilarious, ridiculous, exciting and WORTH IT. Good grief it's crazy that you have to post a post like this. I'll never understand the people who focus on the negative. To the rest of us, happy Tuesday! We rock! No matter what we've been through- WE ROCK! Sending a hug to you and your kids Eden, and to every single person (yep even the trolls) who read this comment!

    1. I'm so sorry that you have gone through your own struggles! Pain is pain no matter how it comes about; it all still hurts.

      You are never alone. I hate knowing that so many people are suffering but it hurts to know that if it has to happen, that at least we can be there to pick each other up when we fall.

      Facebook perfect, it's like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. A mere illusion that so many people chase after.

      We all rock!! Pot of gold at the end or not, our lives are worth it!! Thank you for being on this crazy journey with me!!

      Also thanks for the hugs!! Free hugs for everyone lol!!

  7. Good for you. This is YOUR blog and should be run exactly as YOU want it to be run. As others have said, it's not about silencing the doubters/trolls. It's about making sure this is a safe place for those who come here to heal and meet people who are going through struggles like they are.

    I cannot believe some of those comments you received. I mean, I can believe you received them because there are some horrible people out there. But I breaks my heart that people like those jerks exist - that they get their kicks in life out of saying the absolute most hurtful things they possibly can. I am so sorry you're getting those types of emails. I just...I don't even know what to say. You're right though. Their lives must be absolutely terrible if this is the only way they can be happy.

    I know you're constantly telling your readers, so I'd just like to tell you that YOU are amazing and smart and beautiful as well.


    1. Yea, my mouth hung open quite far as I read some of those come in. I mean my goodness, people really do go for the heart don't they??

      Thank you for reminding me :) Most days you guys really are the only ones cheering for me since I am so silent in real life about my past!

  8. amen eden, thank you for writing this post. And good on you for deleting trollish comments that have no business being here. I had no idea how many people were reading this and emailing you etc. Hard to believe I've been following you since December when you wrote that xojane article.

    1. I'm so glad that you have stayed since December!!

      Love having you!!

  9. Hi Eden. Michele here. My heart sank as I read that you might be taking this blog down! I honestly dont know what I would do if you did that. You have helped me so much! I am so sorry for all the trolls. Please, please do not let them win! As always you and your precious little family are always in my thoughts and prayers. Keep the faith Eden!

    1. I'm trying!! It really hurt me for a while. XOJane has a reputation for having the harshest commenting community and while I can handle it over there I was surprised at how many would filter over here, set up camp, and start lighting things on fire.

      It's one thing to hate on me for a Mother's Day article but just to hate the fact that I am alive.... sad :(

      Thank you for reminding me that even when the readers are silent that they are still cheering for me :)

      I am so thrilled to see how many people have found a supportive place here and you guys make that possible!


  10. I wish someone had told me I had a voice. I had opinions. And my voice and opinions we worth hearing if I found the right people to hear them. I was lucky and found my voice as a mid teen and once I did, I made sure I was heard. If the person I was trying to talk to refused to hear me, I would find a way to make them hear me by creating a situation that gave them no choice. When my mother told me she couldn't get me glasses because her husband needed a new computer, I told her mother what was happening and made sure I got my glasses. You have to find the courage to make things happen for yourself. Sometimes there are prices to pay for it but in the end it will be worth it.

  11. It is your blog, you have every right to delete the malicious and destructive posts. Bullies are everywhere and I never have understood them but I certainly know how vile and petty they are and how much harm they do. Some of them are bullied themselves at home, sure, but many others are just raised by shallow people who spoil them and make excuses for them and even encourage them to raise themselves by cutting others down. And it is indeed time for you to block them and keep them from "poisoning the well", as it were. Just think of it as another cleaning job. !!!

    1. Great point about them "poisoning the well."

      Cleaning house over here people, watch out or I might sweep your ass right out!! Lol!!


  12. I have only this to say to you, Eden. *HIGH FIVE* Thank you so much for everything you do, and the un-ending passion and devotion you have to and for those who aren't yet able to speak for themselves. Oh, one more thing. Fuck the trolls. I wholeheartedly support moderated comments, for exactly the reasons you say-to keep this a safe place for all.

    To those who are still trying to find their voices, I encourage you to keep trying. The people who hate you, hurt you, doubt you, punish you, shame you, bully you, and try to keep you down will always be there. You might not find your voice today, or tomorrow, or the next day, but one day, you will. And between then, take little steps, maybe even tiny steps, to prove to yourself that you are not what people tell you you are, you are not the sum of the shitty things that have happened to you, you have worth and beauty and value. Sometimes shit seems really dark-I've been there. I tried to commit suicide by slow self destruction because I was convinced that the person I was wasn't worth saving.

    Slowly, over a long period of time, I came to realize, and then truly believe, that I am worth saving. My life now isn't perfect-not even close. But it's so much better than I ever could have imagined when I was in that dark, awful place. I am thankful every day that I didn't manage to finish what I started. That will happen for you too-if only you don't give up. If only you find that one person who says that one thing that you really believe in and cling to even when nothing else seems right or good....You'll find your voice. And it will be loud. And strong. And vibrant. And beautiful. And worthy. Hopefully you find it here. I know I have found many voices here that continue to remind me and encourage me that I am enough.

    I beg you, don't leave us, Tiny Voices! Stay here with us, fellowship with us, learn from us, teach us, and one day let us hear your voice. Let us support you and encourage you and celebrate and commiserate with you. You DO have a place in the world, and I know I'm not alone when I say that I'd love for you to find a place here, too.

    1. High Five!!!

      Thank you for your advice to the tiny voices :)

      I know it is good for them to be reminded by more people than just my crazy ass that what they want to say is important!

    2. LOL We're crazy enough to come here, so I guess that makes this place the nut house. :D

    3. Let's make club t-shirts.

      Or maybe we could all get matching straight jackets or something.

    4. How about a t-shirt that looks like a straitjacket? :)

    5. Haha!!! SOLD!!! Put in the order.

  13. I love you and this blog. You have such an amazing sense of humor, courage, strength, love and perseverance. Reading your posts always brightens my day and often makes me laugh out loud. As a young woman myself, I look to you for inspiration and often think of your wise words in my daily life. Please don't take down this blog, you are an amazing/awesome/badass/hilarious SUPERSTAR xoxoxox

    1. Haha, you have hereby been awarded my "favorite comment of the day" award!

      Thank you so much :)


  14. I hadn't read your posts for a while as I was away on holiday (and when I caught up I mostly didn't read the comments). Glad to hear that you've decided to moderate your blog so the trolls can't continue their nastiness. It may be that they'll get more bored and go away if nobody is responding to them - who knows.

    I commend you for this post and standing up for not only yourself but others here who have been hurt (or are being hurt) and protecting them. I have to admit, I'm not a fan of the term 'broken' in this context, I guess because it brings up associations of being 'substandard', 'less-than', 'defective' in some way, that kind of thing. To me, surviving abuse doesn't mean you're broken, your spirit (as in your core self) can still survive intact. 'Broken' also makes me think of needing to be fixed, which always conjures up an image of a broken ornament, superglued together (often badly!) and never the same, not worth as much as one that is unbroken. I guess that's why I prefer 'hurt but not broken'. Just a thought to throw in there - you're an amazing person, someone who shows a lot of strength and courage and whose ability to love and laugh seems, at the core, to remain intact. It just hurts my heart a bit to see you refer to yourself (and other survivors) as broken - when it seems to me that you're hurt but are still a whole, wonderful person who is rebuilding her life.

    1. Lucky you being on holiday! I'm jealous :)

      I didn't used to like the term broken either until we started using it in the support groups I run as a visualization technique: Someone broke our trust, someone broke our heart, someone broke our body, and broken can be fixed. It helped to acknowledge that we were more than just hurt, that someone had truly broken a part of us and that just like a bone, and it needed tending to. I think it really helped a lot of the women, myself included, understand how deeply hurt we were. It was never meant to express that we were broken and less than, but to give acknowledgement to the fact that some severe damage was done, a feeling that too many victims are not allowed to feel per the instructions of their abusers and families.

      Not just hurt on the surface, but really broken in some ways. Broken is not ruined, it just needs to be mended. I can totally understand how that might be uncomfortable for some (many) people, so I'm sorry if I conjured up any bad images!! The women in my group's really like to visualize picking up the pieces of their life and putting them back together stronger than before. For many of us, we weren't just hurt, we were completely obliterated and being able to say it out loud when for so long we were not allowed to even feel that way is a big part of our healing. We talk a lot about accepting our scars, internal and external, just like the cracks in a broken ornament; not ignoring them, but accepting that they are there. Acknowledging that it didn't destroy the ornament, it just needed a little bit of mending and now it stands out from among the rest because it shows that it survived.

      For me, I personally do feel broken in a lot of ways, not just hurt, but truely broken. Mending, but broken. Broken, but not ruined. For me it helps to acknowledge those feelings, but I apologize if I offended anyone!

      Broken aside, thank your for reading and for all of your kind words!! I love knowing that you are on this journey with me :)

    2. This made me think of something I read...
      "... the Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with lacquer resin dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum ...
      As a philosophy it speaks to breakage and repair becoming part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise".

    3. Aw, that is super cool!! Thanks for sharing!!! Loved it :)

    4. Ok, so I thought of this (Kintsugi) ages ago - not long after I read your reply to me, Eden, and finally got around to coming back here to post it...only to find someone else beat me to it. So um...never mind, carry on!

    5. Haha!!! Well look at all my smart readers!! Great minds think alike! :)


  15. Holy hell! I go missing for a bit and miss tons of stuff! Sounds as though it got much worse than before and I am D.E.L.I.G.H.T.E.D. that you will weed out the trash.Those of us (and you) that have suffered with personal trauma/judgement from others surely do not want to deal with more in this wonderful gathering place of healing and comfort. So, thank you, thank you, Eden for putting up the walls and keeping all of us together and safe. You, my girl, are a true sweetheart! Hope all is well in the thawed-out tundra!

    Much love and many hugs from the East Coast

    1. Well that's what you get for going missing!!

      Glad to see you back :)

      Thanks for your support, it's time to bring this blog back to it's original purpose, healing!!

      Sending big hugs and lots of love from my thawed-out tundra!!

  16. I just wanted to let you all know that I deleted the comment(s) that the person left owning responsibility for being one of my trolls. This person sent an email taking responsibility for what they had done and explaining the reasons as to why they did it.

    While I never condone behavior that hurts other people, I do have respect for people who apologize when they realize they were wrong.

    With that being said, I've removed the comments that this particular person to protect their anonymity while they work through some of their own issues.

    Thank you all for supporting every reader we have, no matter what they are healing from.

  17. My heart just grew three times its size after reading this post and its comments...seriously.

    What a great community to be a part of!

    This is what I've learned about freeing myself from bad situations in my life, and hitting the road to happiness.

    Making changes in life is like building muscles. I wouldn't expect myself to lift 100 pounds without working my way there, so, I told myself, how can I expect to be free and happy without working my way there? I knew my goal would be made up of a series of changes, some of them, I knew, would not be easy. But I started small, and when it came time to make the bigger changes, I felt a bit more ready for them. Some of them were like adding 20 pounds to my barbells in one shot (yes, the muscle analogy again), and yeah, I was exhausted. And some days, I didn’t feel like lifting the weight. And you know what? I didn’t. I took the breaks I needed, to recuperate, to let the muscle heal. And I would stay at that weight, until I was ready to add on more. But I would only add little changes at a time to my life in between the big ones…only a couple of pounds to my barbells at a time. When I felt stronger, comfortable, and ready, I made another big change. And so on, and so on.

    I’m not at lifting that 100 pounds yet! And I’m completely okay with that. I’m getting there slowly. But I am way more ahead than I was.

    I'm sending courage to everybody who's needing right now. Be patient with yourself.

    1. Very good analogy ;) Thank you so much for sharing it with me and the readers!!

      I'm glad that you are part of our community too :)

    2. Thank YOU! for have a lot to do with where I am now...REALLY & HONESTLY!
      OK, I'm the one who's a little drunk...and have 5000 mosquitos on my laptop screen and ass...will I ever sprell right againg...probably not - gosh I SUCK - I do f'n suck, but knida fun too -you're awesome and that's all tgat matters

    3. And you what??? So do you :)
      In my drunken stupor I think I have to say a most wonderful goodnight Dear Lady! (Hey I actually spelled everything alright!)
      Until next my Dear!
      Much Love!

    4. OK, my first sentence...."And you what???" WHAT.THE.HELL.IS.THAT??Fuck, at this point I'm not drunk, I'm nuts! Don't even bother Eden!