This weekend I promised myself that I was just going to relax and be present with my family. No working, no blogging, no running errands, just being still in the moment and enjoying the life around me. I need this sometimes, as everyone does. It's really easy to get so wrapped up in work and your "priorities," that you forget who and what your priorities really are.
A few months ago when I wrote the post "my life is completely unrealistic" I had hit that point where I was working so much, so hard, and so fast, that I had completely lost myself into the abyss that I call work.
It wasn't until I really hit that wall of "I can't do this anymore because my life is falling apart" did I realize that while work is important, my legacy is everything that I don't get paid for. Being present for my children, being there for my friends, and making myself a priority so that I am able to be who the world needs me to be, those are my priorities.
So the weekends, they are now off limits for work.
It really has not been easy. I see my computer and my to do list and I'll admit, sometimes I simply cannot stop thinking about everything that I need to get done. I feel bad that I might let someone down because I'm not getting something done that I need to do for work. I see the kids playing right in front of me, but my mind is on everything else that I feel I should be doing instead.
I find that I tend to bargain with myself; "If I just do this one quick thing, then at least I'll have gotten something done and I won't feel quite as guilty about not doing anything productive today, especially when I have SO much to do!"
Nope, I'm not giving in.
I'm not giving in because I've lost the perspective on what my real priorities are. I've made work and the people that I work with a priority over the people that love me. As guilty as I feel for possibly letting down anyone that I work with, the fact that I feel guiltier about letting them down than I do when I let my own children down in order to appease others, just goes to prove how very much I need to change my viewpoint on priorities.
Just because my friends, my kids, and I myself do not have a visible deadline, does not mean that I can neglect making them a priority; because in reality, everything does have an expiration date and things left untended will wither and die.
Neglecting to tend to relationships, my children, and myself will only lead to undesirable outcomes.
Friends drift away feeling as neglected as they are, children grow up in ways that I don't want them to, and I find myself entwined in a level of anxiety that isn't good for me or my work.
It really hasn't been easy to make the weekends off limits for work, but I'm going to keep doing it until it is.
I've said it before, a habit is a choice that is made so often that it becomes nearly impossible to choose otherwise.
I intend to force myself to restrain from weekend work until I am able to make it a habit.
I've got kids that are growing up faster than I'd like them too and if I want to have any input as to how they are being raised, I can't rely on daycare and a television to raise them for me.
So this week in particular got away from me with everything that I was trying to cram in that I wouldn't be able to do this weekend and I didn't have time to write a real post.
But what did happen was that I got to watch a little girl play with her new doll.
I gave a dollhouse a much needed cleaning so that it would be ready to be played with tomorrow.
I introduced a little boy to the awesome creation that is s'mores,
and I took the kids to a movie in the park (even if one of them slept through it).
I also took a little time to enjoy my new room!
|If my friends ask where all the drinks went that they left in my fridge...no one saw this picture....mmkay?|
So with that being said, today's post will be taking place over at Lifetime Mom's. (Just click on the link)
If you will excuse me now, I have a very cute boy waiting on my couch and a movie that needs to be watched.
I challenge you this weekend to look around at your life. Look around and really see who and what is most important to you, and then make sure that you are tending to it in a way that is conducive to thriving.
Don't spend so much time tending to such fleeting things that you neglect your most important priorities to the point that they wither and die.
In order to really thrive, a garden needs the attention of it's gardener.
Make sure that the things that you are giving the most attention to, are the flowers that you want to see bloom the most.