Monday, July 7, 2014

Sure, I'll Have Sex In The Parking Lot, Why Not?

Nothing like a little Monday morning conversation with your best friend.

Well, my date with Piano Man went well.


We went to a pretty nice place about 45 minutes from my house. I snuck this snazzy little picture for you guys while he was reading his menu:

You’re welcome.

I had a really nice time. The conversation never ceased and I’m pretty sure we spent the majority of the night laughing louder than twenty people in the entire restaurant combined. He has my same sarcastic sense of humor and we found ourselves finishing each other’s sentences with the same bizarre and uncommonly used phrases, proving that he is a good match for my ridiculous level of weirdness.

When dinner was over he asked if I wanted to take a walk in the little downtown area nearby, but my boy child had not been feeling well when I left the house, and my mommy heart really wanted to get home and check on him.

Piano Man said he understood and walked me to my car. It was about nine o'clock and when I had gotten to the restaurant the place was totally packed, leaving the only available spot around the back of the restaurant in a lot that was now empty.

When we got to my car we just stood there talking, and talking, and talking some more, and then there was even more talking, and eventually I said “ugh, I really don’t want to go but I want to be home in case my little guy wakes up.”

Again he said he understood and as I leaned in to give him a hug, I don’t know, despite the 12 inch height difference I felt my hand slide up the back of his neck and then I kissed him.

I’ve never in my life kissed on a first date; many times not on the second, and multiple times not even on the third. This time though, I just dove right in there.

Then I whispered into his ear “you smell good” to which he replied “you feel good” to which my classy ass said “that’s creepy.”

The next thing I know the two of us are going at it like animals. Like animals people, I have no excuses.

Now I would like to take a minute to interject a question. Have you ladies ever noticed that it’s always the most socially awkward guys that have the best sexual skills? I have had several in depth conversations with my girlfriends about this very topic. When Mrs. Nutcase Neighbor and I were still friends, we were so convinced of this theory that we went so far as to take a poll among our friends. The results of our studies show that as the awkward indicator goes up, the sexy skills go through the roof. I am adding last night’s results as supporting data.

Anyways, so to continue on, we were going at it like animals. I felt my dress slide off my shoulders, which doesn't make any sense because hello, it's a dress, it can stay on...but whatever.

Clearly I am not in the most logical state of thinking, proven by the fact that we are in a PARKING LOT.

At one point I looked up and I saw some dude leaning against a car, smoking, and clearly enjoying the show.

“That guy is watching us” I said.

“Do you care?” he asked me.

“No” I heard myself saying.

Again with the class Eden; sheesh girl, get it together!

All of a sudden it dawns on me “whoa, you are about to have sex with a guy, in a parking lot, on a first date, and you don’t even know if this guy is clean.”

Romantic, right? But come on people, condoms break and I’m not really down for an STD or HIV. Secondly and most importantly, I wasn't sure if I would regret this. I haven't had sex with very many people and this was not the way I wanted to add another number to my list, especially if I wasn't sure if I was going to regret this.

So as we are still going at it I gently whisper “no.”

“Ok” he says.

In total shock I exclaim “what!?”

“Ok. You said no, I’m not going to try to convince you to do something that you aren’t completely comfortable with.”

Have I mentioned that I really like this dude? I mean like yes, I meant “no” and I wasn’t about to be convinced otherwise, but I was just shocked at his lack of resistance. Usually “no” is met with “Seriously? You are going to do this to me? Then why did you get me all turned on? You’re just going to leave me like this? Do you know how much this is going to hurt?”

I was totally prepared to have to completely and firmly shut this dude down and I was utterly shocked when he simply replied “ok.”

It. Was. Awesome.

So we managed to pull our respective selves together, had a lingering kiss goodnight, and then he watched me drive out of the parking lot.

He called me as I was pulling into my driveway and we talked on the phone until the sun came up.

I’m still not sure that I’m ready to be in a relationship and while I was very upfront with him about that fact, I dunno….

There is something about this 32 year old Piano Man that moonlights as an appliance salesman……


  1. I'm so happy for you Eden!! You deserve for a guy to treat you well. If you want to sleep with Piano Man, you are ready for it! As for the more socially awkward men being better in bed, I don't have much experience to speak from, but could it be that they have less sexual pretension and are more sensitive? It's so great that you are out there living your life and meeting new people. So interesting!! Thank you for sharing your wacky life with us.

    1. Maybe!! All good theories!!!

      Well thank YOU for joining me on this crazy ass ride that I call life lol!
      You guys make the journey a lot more fun :)


  2. This is awesome. I'm so glad you find a good guy. I am hoping everything works out for the two of you. :)

  3. That guy? That guy knows respect. Regardless of what happens, I hope you keep him in your life. :) I hope things continue to go well.

    1. Such a rare quality these days sadly. But yay that I finally found someone who has it lol!

  4. He seems nice. Get to know him better, probably.

  5. What a hottie!! AND a nice guy!

    I have to say, though, that I've had the opposite experience with socially awkward guys (i.e. they are REALLY bad at kissing, sex. etc.). In fact, I had the worst sex of my entire life this past weekend with a socially awkward guy. I'm glad your experiences have been so different!

    1. He is a delectible specimen of human isn't he? ;)

      Too funny about your experiences!! I want you hear your weekend sex story! Spill it girl!

  6. This whole post just makes me smile. I'm so glad that you had a good time with him and that he was respectful of your wishes. You deserve a guy like that.

    Also, I hope the boy child is feeling better!

    1. The boy child caught hand, foot, and mouth from daycare. GAAAA ROOOOOOSSSS!!!! He is still pretty miserable and we are all pretty tired!

      Thank you :)

    2. Oh no. We get that every now and then with kids in our Y and some of the parents are downright LIVID that we won't let their sick kids into the room.

      Poor little guy. That one's no fun. Hope he gets better soon.

      Keep us updated on Piano Man. Are you planning on seeing him again?

    3. I can imagine that. I took the boy child to daycare Monday morning and was like "So hey....he has hand foot and mouth and I'm pretty sure he had some spots on him when I picked him up from here Thursday afternoon (friday was a holiday) which means he got it from here. He is past the fever part and so...what's your policy on that?

      The director handed me a sheet that she was actually holding when I walked in and it said "attention parents, we have 15 confirmed cases of hand, foot, and mouth."

      She looked at me and was like he can stay. All the kids have been exposed, it's not like keeping one or two home is going to protect the rest!

      I always ask and if one of my kids are the only one's sick I keep them home and if others are sick I let them stay.

      The y is different though because thats like hundreds of random kids. Daycare is the same group day after day and by the time the kids start showing symptoms they have all been infected anyways.

      Now if lice were to go around, forget it, I'm keeping them home for a month!

      Yes, I am absolutely seeing him again!

    4. <3 I love you Eden

    5. Yeah I imagine day care would have different policies. That makes sense. Our policy is once they're no longer contagious they can come in. I had one mother once that was livid that I wouldn't let her 4-year-old in because he was sick. "Yes, I understand your kickboxing class is important. I really do. But Junior here has a fever and apparently threw up 20 minutes before you left? In that case no he can't come in. Yes, that's our policy. We can't risk the other children getting sick. No, I'm sorry I can't make an exception. Yes you can have my boss's number. Have a wonderful day!"

      YAY for going out with him again!!! I hope you have a great time!

    6. Haha!! I love you too anonymous :) <3

    7. Oh my gosh. Gym moms. (enter me making gagging noises here)

      What on earth are they thinking!!?? Maybe they need to stop working out so much so that some of the blood goes back to their brains!

  7. Aww go you! He sounds fun and sweet. Enjoy with as many or few clothes as you like. ;)

  8. Eden, can you update us on the meeting with your Mother? You had posted a little while back that you were meeting with her, how did that go?

  9. Yeah for passion and connections! Where ever they take place!

    1. Yayyyy!!! He is coming over tomorrow night. Lol. Wonder what will happen....

    2. I bet the kiddos will love him. Go for it girl! Things will go great! And put the kids to bed a tad early! Keep us posted!

  10. Dude! This is fantastic! Way to be spontaneous :) it's so great that you guys click so well- what a feeling! I'm so, so happy your date went well <3

    P.S. time for an obligatory, immature sex joke: TICKLE HIS IVORIES AAAALLLLLL NIGHT! Hehehehe :)

    1. Hahahaha!!!!

      Thank you :) So far, so good!!

  11. I'm happy you've met a good guy. Now just keep in mind he's not any of the other guys you've ever met, and try not to let any anxieties from past trauma lead you to make any rash decisions.

    1. I'm trying. It's so hard. The nicer he is, the more instinctively I want to push him away. It's uncomfortable feeling vulnerable, like when you start to trust too much. I'm really trying not to freak out and run!

  12. Well, well, look at you. Catching a hot-to-trot hottie! Good for you, Eden! Don't be scared and don't scare him! hahaha Sounds like you are doing great!

    Much love and many hugs from the East Coast

    1. Haha!!

      We are having fun! ;)

      Love you hun!!