I Don't Recommend Getting A Tongue Tattoo

Was it just me or was April insanely busy?

Aside from the daily grind of work/dance/school/daycare/, we also spent several weekends in a row at Easter festivals. I say Easter festival and not egg hunt because these days you go for the hunt but then you stay for the games. I really don't remember having anything like this when I was younger, but now it seems like every egg hunt has bounce houses, rides, games, prizes, face painting, and food, and the best part is that they are all free!

 Platonic Husband's real hubby

So yes, we did many of them.

The Platonic Husband, her family, and I were there to see The Girl Child find the golden egg at one hunt, meaning she got a crappy prize, which at 6yrs old pretty much feels like you have won the lottery.

I think the best part was that this was the first year that The Boy Child actually understood what was going on. He went full force at the hunt and really got into a lot of the games.

The next weekend we went to another Egg festival with a different group of friends, where we took a hayride with bigger horses than I even knew were in existence.

We also participated in the one of the most creative egg hunts I have ever seen.

We didn't spend all our time at Easter festivals, sometimes we sat home and used mustache stickers to decorate fake eggs.

Well the kids did anyway, I sat around and made creepy-leering faces at them while wearing the mustache stickers.

I pretty much sat at the table like this for the entire 30 minutes that they worked on their eggs, and tried to creep them out.

I even tried this face.

But the kids? IT NEVER PHASED THEM. I guess they are just immune to my weirdness by now. On the upside though, they had absolutely no idea that the eggs were fake and if any of you tell them differently, we will not be friends anymore.

When I wasn't busy doing that, I found myself doing this:

What is that you ask? Oh that's nothing, that's just where I smashed the hell out of a children's chair while trying to put this thing together:

I had been looking to buy a used tractor toy for The Boy Child because he never asks for ANYTHING and yet for the last a year and a half he had been consistently asking if he could have a tractor. That kid is aaaalllll boy and if his dream comes true he is going to grow up to be a farmer. Because we live by farmland he has had ample opportunity to watch "the men work" and has decided that being a mere spectator is just not good enough anymore, that at 3yrs old he is ready to farm, and because of that he feels that he needs a tractor.

Knowing that the window is closing on the time frame where he will fit on any tractor that will ever live at my house, I finally asked on Facebook if everyone would be on the lookout at garage sales for a used/cheap tractor.

Leave it to my dear sweet best friend to call me and say "hey! I got The Boy Child a tractor!"

Me "Wow!! That was fast! Where did you find it!?"

Her: "Amazon."

Isn't she the best?

Unfortunately I could NOT put it together. I figured after tackling the Ikea dresser that for the rest of my life anything that required assembly would be smooth sailing, but I was wrong.

I had yet to meet a Step 2 Ride On Tractor and all it's STUPID directions. All 40 steps of them. Steps that included "using a ratchet... bang with a rubber mallet.... brace with a piece of wood (enter the smashed chair)," and just generally having pieces that needed about 250lbs of pressure in order to be manhandled together.

All of that finally resulted in this:

In the end another sweet family saved the day, and as a collective team effort we were able to make The Boy Child extremely happy.

While The Boy Child farmed, The Girl Child and I, like any normal mother and daughter, sat in the garage and gave each other tattoos.

Yep, tongue tattoos.

I had the same reaction when I saw the packaging and please tell me, is it just me or does something on these instructions seem a bit contradictory?

 "Caution: Do not apply to sensitive areas. Instructions: 1. Stick out tongue. 2. Place tattoo on tongue."

Ok then...

The results were less than impressive. Certainly not worth bending our diet rules and putting artificial colorants in our mouths.

I'm going to have to say that I do not recommend the tongue tattoo.

I do however recommend getting a broken scale, if only for vanity reasons. I woke up the other morning, hopped on the scale, and the scale said "Happy Easter bitch, now go eat candy!!" and I was totally cool with ignoring the fact that it was probably broken, because you know what the say, "the scale doesn't lie!"

The broken scale was super awesome because my Bestie not only bought The Boy Child a tractor, but she also took us out for lunch (told you she was awesome).

And a few days before that I had taken the kids out for ice cream.

Well, technically only The Girl Child got restaurant ice cream because I had to bring The Boy Child's dairy free ice cream in a cooler. And yes, I looked a little crazy, but tell me this face doesn't make it worth it?

Going out to eat is a RARE treat in our house so to go twice in one week is unheard of, but it was a special occasion, we were celebrating The Girl Child's first school musical!

Sorry for the bad quality, I was super far away and had to zoom in.

I was a proud mommy.

Other than that, we've just been keeping busy. The weather has been on and off beautiful so we've been trying to take advantage of it when it's been nice.

This winter was really hard on me. Between break-ups, court dates, and financial issues, I found myself struggling a lot more than I had been for a while. I feel like I finally turned a corner this month when I reached out to my friends and they really came around and pitched in to help me. 

They came over and kept me company when I was feeling sad

Forgot to take any pics, but here's the remnants of our clean up

and played with my kids when I was feeling a bit run down.

My Ballerina friend and her husband playing with my kids (and theirs) 

I'm finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel in regards to a few things we will chat about in upcoming posts, but for now, before I go, if you're looking for an actual article to fill your time before the next post, check out what else I've been up to the last few weeks!

I almost hate to admit this, but...

"I'm A Better Mom Because My Kids Are In Daycare"

Grab a tissue...

"These Are The 6 Hardest Moments Of Being A Single Mom"

My first article for the site Bustle...

"Is It Rape If I Said 'Yes'?"

And to leave you with a good laugh,...

"The Hamster Workout"

Happy Spring Blogland!!