Things That Just Make You Ask "Why?" Part 3

It's that time again, time for another edition of "Things that just make you ask, why?" As usual, courtesy of my camera phone.

Why do I live in a place where the roads disappear in the winter?

In the summer, I took this picture of the road right outside of my house

And to be honest, I'm not even sure the road is there anymore.

Why do I live somewhere, where your neighbor's car disappears by morning?

Why are my neighbors so totally awesome, that even though the association will plow my driveway overnight, they hurry up and shovel so that when I get home from work, I won't have to get the kids out of my car in the snow?

Standing in my garage, looking at the only shoveled driveway around.

Why can I not figure out how this happened? It is a one way road, with a large median dividing the traffic on the other side. How did the mail truck turn almost backwards and drive up a hill?

Why drive a whole car when half a car works just fine?

Why don't you want us touching the TV? Because it might disintegrate due to old age?

This is the doctor's office you get to go to when you have no health insurance.

Why spend the money on chair rail when economy baseboard can be stapled to the wall for the same effect?

Why wouldn't these pants be in the clearance section? Like anyone would pay full price for pants that clearly got caught in the sewing machine and were then patched together with every available piece of scrap cloth.

Why not throw a mustache party? It goes right along with all the other crazy theme parties I have had. A couple months ago I had a chair party. You want to come? Great, bring a drink, an appetizer, and be prepared to put together an Ikea chair. By the end of the night I had a lot of laughs, a lot of drinks, and a lot of really wobbly chairs. Next time I will make sure the chairs are taken care of before the drinks are served....

Why leave the theme's at home? If you are at the store with a friend, and you are bored, try on a hat or two, at the same time. If your friend suggests a boa, sure, go find one. She wants you to hold flowers? Sure why not. She hands you an over sized drink cup? Why the hell not? Sure, I'll shop like this. I've always wanted to be on the "people of Walmart" website.

Oh my gosh, why!? Just....WHY!?

Chicken feet anyone?

Why did I karate chop someone in the throat? "Get moon dough!" they said. "It will be fun!" they said. "It will entertain the kids!" they said. Funny, I don't remember anyone saying anything about how freaking long it would take to clean up.

Why not splurge and spend a dollar on an entire display of four month old popcorn balls, conveniently located directly next to a box 1/10 its size that said "donate snacks to our troops?" I walked up to the register, handed the guy a dollar, told him to keep the change, picked up the three foot tall display of popcorn balls, and set the entire thing on top of the shoe box sized troop donation box. Not even a smile. Not even a tiny smile came out of that cashier. Poor guy. Tragically, another one born without a personality.

Why do gluten free menu's never have prices? This isn't even funny, it just annoys me. I have yet to see a gluten free menu at any restaurant that has prices on it. Do they think we are all rich people on fad diets?
I ordered a side salad, because I am poor, and even for a side salad, it was really tiny. Because my friends are as awesome and funny as I am, when the waitress came back, she asked her for some extra dressing for me. Then when the waitress came back again, and she told her that she had over served me dressing and that I was going to need some extra lettuce. The waitress looked confused as hell, but when she came back, my friend told her that because of the extra lettuce, we were going to need a bigger bowl.

Oddly enough this same restaurant contains all my favorite restaurant stories, except for the time I was at a chili's and a rather large model airplane fell from the ceiling and landed on our table, flipping both my and my friends plates over. The manager walked over and very casually picked up the airplane and walked away, leaving both my friend and I sitting there with our mouths hanging open.

But this restaurant, a couple years ago gave me a to-go order salad that was literally only lettuce. Not a single thing was in the box except lettuce. Not even dressing. When I got home I realized the error and I called and the manager. He said he would send me compensation in the mail. Ok no problem. In the mail comes two coupons for free blooming onion appetizers. So wait...you are comping me for something I paid for and didn't get, with something that I didn't order in the first place? So I go in to the restaurant, I order dessert, and when the bill comes I pay with the blooming onion coupon. The manager comes out and I say to him "Oh I'm sorry, isn't that how it works around here? You order whatever you want, and then you can pay with whatever you feel like best suits the situation?"

Also at this same restaurant, I was having dessert with a girlfriend one night, the waiter sets my plate down, and it has two spoons on it. After the waiter walked away, I said to my friend "Ah, I hate it when they put two spoons on the plate, because then if you eat the entire thing yourself you feel kind of guilty like you were supposed to share because it is way to much for one person, and I'm totally eating this entire thing myself." From behind me slips the waiters arm and he slides one of the spoons off my plate while saying "I'm so sorry miss, I accidentally dropped an extra spoon on this plate containing a dessert that is clearly only enough for one person to eat. My mistake." LOVE IT.

Why am I smiling? Because you guys ROCK!!! Your donations not only covered my mortgage this month , but they covered a good chunk of it for next month as well, which is great because it is due in two weeks. Thanks to the state being so backed up, my food stamps got canceled because they haven't gotten around to processing my renewal paperwork yet, so with that added expense, I wasn't going to make it next month either. You guys are SUPER AWESOME!! I still can't believe anyone would do that for me, especially people that don't "really" know me (although you guys probably know me a lot better than anyone that has physically met me). Oh my gosh, I can breathe for the first time in quite a while. I don't even know what to say you guys, thank you, thank you, thank you so much!!!!