Things That Make You Ask "Why?" Part 7

Yay! It's time for another edition of "things that just make you ask why" courtesy of Eden's phone.

(IN OTHER NEWS; make sure you read to the bottom for a few random updates to Not My Shame's media pages)

Why am I going to have a heart attack at the ripe old age of 31? Because this is what happens when you tell a guy "Yea, I don't really care, just get me something." He comes back with cheese fries, more cheese fries, potato skins hiding under a pile of cheese, sour cream, and bacon, and some 9,780 calorie sandwich masquerading as lettuce. You had better believe we ate it all and then we got ice cream.

Why was this on the clearance rack? Not enough immigrants shopping here during the holiday season? This was in a size 3T! How funny, I've never seen that before. It's good that they are catering to the masses but it was still funny to see since you typically see this printed on onsie's for infants.

Why are my friends so awesome? I told my friend that my girl child asked me why God didn't love her enough to give her a daddy, and two days later this showed up in my mailbox.

Why bother clipping coupons when stores already run amazing sales like this!? Now I just need to figure out where I'm going to store it all...

Why is this called a bralette instead of a bra?

Because it's Kohl's way of convincing you that you no longer need to wear a shirt. "No, it's not just overalls and a bra, it's a bralette, which is clearly not a bra because it has all those extra letters at the end of the word!"

Why does it not suprise me that when a guy texts me asking what I'm doing and I text him this photo,

Recognize this photo from another post? I used it in the post "Back When I Was a Cutter."

He texts me back a photo captioned "that's funny, I'm doing the exact same thing!"

Why did I do a happy dance in the middle of the store? Because this little genius invention meant that I didn't have to hard boil eggs just to watch the kids break them all while dying them for Easter!

Why this is a little scary driving next to....

Why uh, why doesn't this fit on the holder? Oh yea, because the toilet paper apparently didn't come with a hole in the roll this time.

Why don't you pull a little farther away from the pick-up window my dear? Go-go gadget arms!

The woman in the car and the woman at the window were both hanging completely out of their respective locations just to be able to hand the food off. I could see what pants they were wearing.

Why did my jaw hit the floor at my clients house? Because this is the vacuum they gave me to use. This almost tops the time someone asked me to use their cast iron Kirby vacuum from the 1940's and I couldn't even move it.

Why look at this!? According to TIME magazine, being locked in the closet may have helped my brain to grow and evolve in ways that will make me a more aware person. Lucky me.

Why is this funny? Because the waitress was a complete airhead and dropped off my birthday dessert and said "Happy Birthday. I was going to light it........but I didn't." That waitress is lucky she is cute because there was not a whole lot going on in the brain department.

Why is there a dog at the gym, who appears to be alone...?

The dog is actually inside, he is just on the other side of the hallway door.

Why does it not surprise me that I would find this at Walmart? I guess you don't need "fancy"sizing labels when they allow you to shop in your pajama's or half naked.

Why did this freak me out a little bit? Because this was the result of a five question survey that asked the most bizarre questions such as "which movie line is your favorite," "which actor is your favorite," and "what would you eat for breakfast." Each question had four answers you could select from and I personally thought all the choices sucked. Somehow though it still managed to work because um...this is totally me. According to this survey I need to move to New Hampshire and "be with my people."

I was so convinced that this was rigged that I took it a few more times choosing different answers and I got results that were nothing like me. Tell me that I haven't written posts that are exactly like this? "Doesn't Everyone Get All Dressed Up To Watch a Strange Man Pee," "Anyone Up for a Little Branding," "Before I Knew It My Boobs Were On The News," and "I Didn't Win The Battle" come to mind. I can't even remember the last time I've taken a survey, so it was odd that I even decided to take this one.

Well that's all I have for now! Now enter: THE OTHER NEWS. Dramatic enough?

Hopefully you weren't expecting anything to exciting, otherwise, prepare yourself for disappointment.

I finally got my Google+ page up, so feel free to friend me, I'm looking forward to interacting with you all! My page is very sad and lonely with no one in my circles.

I know that some of you Facebooked my page after I posted the link on here, but Facebook is only putting my posts on some of your newsfeeds, which is Facebook's way of trying to make me pay to let all of you receive my notifications. In order to have my status updates show up in your newsfeed, you are going to have to visit my page and periodically "like" my status's so that Facebook see's that you actually want to read them. Ugh. I'm actually more of a Facebook girl than a Google+ girl, so I'm not giving up on Facebook just yet.

In more random news, my article "Sex and the Single Mom" is up over on Lifetime Moms.

Lastly, after reading all of your helpful advice in the comments section, check back in a day or two to see if I decided to stay with Secret Agent Man or Doctor Dude. I'm planning to write the post tomorrow and I can't wait to see what you all have to say about the choice I made.

I'm actually a little scared haha.

Have a wonderful Thursday everyone and remember,

You are amazing. You are precious. You are smart. You are beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you differently, and don’t ever forget it, because

                                                             
                                                  YOU. ARE. LOVED.