Actual conversations I've had with The Girl Child this week;
"Mom, if I stick my finger in there will I be 'electrocubed'?"
"Yes kid, if you stick your finger in the socket you will be electrocuted."
....five minutes later.
"Why are you still staring at the socket?"
"I'm trying to decide if I want to risk it."
What. The. Hell.
*************
While driving in the car, "Look mom!! A kangaroo!!"
"That is a deer standing on its hind legs."
*************
"Mom, when you're dead, can I have your phone number?"
"Aw. Baby, remember how we talked about how when people die, you can't talk to them in the same way anymore? You won't be able to call me."
"No, I mean like can I actually have your phone number? Can you have them put it on a phone for me?"
"What are you like 15 now? And why do you want my phone number?"
"Because it's the only one I know. How will all my friends be able to get ahold of me if I don't know my own phone number?"
************
"Ok that's it, go sit on the stairs, you have a 5 minute time out."
"You know what mom? I think I'll just go ahead and do ten minutes so that I can cross one off for next time."
************
"This is called a blood test babe. They just have to quickly take a little bit of blood out of your arm, ok?"
"Can they just take all of it so that the next time I get a cut I won't need a band aid?"
************
Ok, that's the end of the quotes.
Seriously though, is it just me, or is my kid like... extra... "special?"
She is definitely a strange one.
I have absolutely no idea where she gets that from... none... at all...
Speaking of strange, the other day I was folding laundry and Disney Jr. was on TV. All of a sudden my ears perked up when I heard the word "wine." You moms know what I'm talking about, when you completely drown out whatever show your kids are watching, usually because of the incessant and relentless singing those shows seem to have, and then all of a sudden your brain catches a word that makes you go "wait a minute... what are they watching?"
Well my brain heard "wine" and I look up to see some children's cooking show on and the chef was instructing the kids to pour one cup of wine into the pasta sauce. "Now the rule with wine is that if you like it, your food will like it."
THIS IS A CHILDREN'S SHOW IN AMERICA. THEY AREN'T ALLOWED TO LIKE WINE.
Seriously, am I the only one that finds that a little strange? Now you all know that I'm by no means a
sheltering parent, but at what point did the producers sit down and decide "you know what, we absolutely cannot make pasta sauce without wine, there simply are no other recipes, so we are just going to have to go with this."
I NOT UNDERSTAND.
Not even on Disney, but on Disney Jr.
I STILL NOT UNDERSTAND.
But anyways, hey, it's another No Work Weekend!!
So far ours has kicked off well, although I still haven't found the gerbil and my friends have yet to let me live that down.
I honestly don't even think it's still here. I have literally set up a minefield of traps and they haven't even been touched. I think in the chaos of my screaming it must have run out the door.
At least that's the theory I'm going with and you had better not ruin it for me.
We spent the majority of the day at my good friend's house. As a fellow dancer, I guess I'll call her my Ballerina friend! My lovely friend even helped the kids bake gluten and dairy free cupcakes!
My friend helping the kids crack eggs.
Sprinkles!
Time to eat!
After that we came home and I cut The Boy Child's hair. Before we started he said "give me a funny haircut!!" and so I aged him about 40 years by shaving off just the top and the bottom.
He wasn't sure what to think about that (I'm holding up a mirror for him).
(Hands on his hips) "What da heck did you do to me?"
P.S. if you cut your son's hair at home, I've found it so much easier to cut it while he is sitting in a dry bathtub. Just put them in the tub, sit on the edge, cut their hair, vacuum out the tub, and then wash them off!
Because I don't want all this hair on my floor!
(And no, he is not bald in the back, it's just the way the light reflected.)
He was happy when I "made it regular" again
So that pretty much sums up our day. I spent a couple hours cleaning (blah), a took a much needed hour to update the kids scrapbooks, and now everyone is in bed and I'm getting ready for a girls night. But before I get to that, let me get your opinion's on something. The Detective Whose Name I Do Not Like emailed me and asked me to have lunch with him on Wednesday.(And no, he is not bald in the back, it's just the way the light reflected.)
Hum...
Now if you remember I broke up with him several months ago. Then he called me in December, but I told him I was seeing someone. Well he doesn't know that I broke up with the Philosophy Guy, and yet... lunch invitation.
I'm intrigued.
But at the same time, I'm not because I broke up with him for a reason. We weren't friends before we dated and I'm not sure I want to be friends now. When I was with him I thought I was starting to fall in love with him, but when I broke things off I was surprised at how I really didn't, or even want to, look back.
Yet it's been a couple of days now since I got his email and I have not yet emailed him back to say "no."
What am I doing?
I really have no idea.
I definitely don't want to date him again and I never get together with someone after we have broken up.
Yet...I'm intrigued...
Thoughts?
Hum...
Well, that's all I've got. I hope you are all enjoying the weekend and I'll leave you with a few of my recent articles that have a little more content than just the randomness of this post.
(Don't forget that these can apply to either gender, they were just written for a woman's site)
If Your Partner Does These Six Things, You're Being Silently Abused
If Your Man Does These 5 Things, You're Being Manipulated
I think many of you will be able to relate to this one:
I Disowned My Biological Family And Got A New One
Why I Want My Daughter To See Me Naked
5 Ways Being A Single Mom Has Made Me A Better Person
5 Topics You Should Absolutely Avoid During Playgroup (this wins my fav article award! I laughed so hard writing this!)
Why I Refuse To Let My Daughter Do Homework
Yes, I Swear In Front Of My Kids, What's The Big F*cking Deal?
Check this one out. Oddly enough, the "star" of this next article, my bunny Charlie (real name!) was a gift from an ex boyfriend and the reason that I ventured into the pet store my ex managed, thus meeting him. Charlie came before my ex and outlived my marriage. That's crazy to me!
The Great Bunny Escape (Or How Not To Walk A Rabbit)
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Have a WONDERFUL weekend!!
So wait. You cut hair, cook, refinish furniture, haggle for cars, start businesses, keep fit, sing, look like THAT when you wake up in the morning, and so on and so on.
ReplyDeleteStop inadvertently shaming me.
Ah! Trust me, I have my flaws. I can't navigate worth shit, I am horrible at keeping business records, and I talk way too much! Oh and I pick horribly abusive men to marry ;)
DeleteIt's not just your kid! LOL I was doing some painting last fall, my grand daughter (6) was watching me and had been bugging me for a few days with the "Can I help? When do I get a turn?", etc.....I finally said "you can help me when you're 12!!" (figuring that the 6 years would discourage her....yeah...not so much!) So she says "WHEN I'M 12??!!!!! You'll be DEAD by then!" And proceeded to stomp off in disgust......LOL.....
ReplyDeleteBTW.....LOVE your blog!! ~Tracy
HAHA!! That is SO funny!!! Thanks for sharing!!
Delete*hugs*
I'm in love with you
ReplyDeleteIn love with your personality / your online persona (is that possible?)
DeleteYou need love Eden
You're like a plant without light
Awesome haha! Well I hate to admit, I am probably much more boring in real life. And annoying. Definitely more annoying. ;)
DeleteWas the blood test to figure out her ancestry? Wishing you good luck!
ReplyDeleteI think you should go with what feels right in the case of the detective. If you feel like you have already moved on and remaining friends with exes is weird, then I would say that to him. Plenty of fish in the sea!
I wish! It was just some routine blood work to track our genetic condition. Fun times! Not.
DeleteI still haven't decided about meeting him or not. Ahh!!
I would explain to your daughter that if she gets electrocuted, she may die. Also if they took all her blood, she definitely would die.
ReplyDeleteI wonder though would a person really get electrocuted if they touched an electric outlet? I've never really wanted to check....
I would tell the detective guy no I'm not interested.
oh I wanted to ask does your daughter know what a kangaroo looks like? Maybe you could show her pictures of one.
DeleteThank you for deleting the comments. Unfortunately I had already seen them and was doing my best to ignore them/him or her. Should I just e-mail you privately from now on?
DeleteAlso what is it with people responding as anonymous, they should put a name on it.
Just ignore them, hell you know how much they pick on me!! Yes, I had a few talks with her about the ways she can die, electricity being one of them lol. I have to say though, when I looked at the deer for a minute it did actually look like a kangaroo! It was on it's hind legs with it's front legs kind of drawn into its body. Craziness!
DeleteThat is weird about the Detective. Do you think maybe you should take the invitation, see what he has to say, but tell him how you feel when you're there? Your relationship with him didn't seem to be as emotionally charged as the other guys, so it doesn't seem to be that risky. In any case I know you can handle it.
ReplyDeleteI think I've read all the stories you've posted, but what I didn't know is how you met your ex... it seriously creeps me out that he managed a pet store? I mean, I'm assuming this was pre-meth, but considering the way he treated PEOPLE...
That said, considering there's only two options on where your Girl Child "got it", it's pretty obvious. XD
Yep, I met him at the pet store, he was my boss!! Last man who should have ever been in charge of animals, he kicked our dog to death :(
DeleteI'm pretty sure The Girl Child got her spunk from me ;)
The Detective, I still haven't decided! You are right, it wasn't as intense, but it was still pretty real, so... I don't know. ((sigh))
Oh, sweetie! Just do it. It's only lunch. That is the meal when my "I only like your company and I will never sleep with you" dates take place. Hear him out. Walk away (again) if you must. Above all, enjoy your meal and the conversation. You just never know when you may need a 'Dick Tracy' in your life. LOL
ReplyDeleteYour children are growing fast and still adorable. My granddaughter just told me my hair is getting white like Anna in Frozen. She told me to go get more yellow and brown. I think I am a little past due for my hairdresser. Thanx, Miss E! hahaha You gotta love 'em!
Much love and many hugs from a melty, thawing East Coast!
Haha!! Very true about lunch being the time when you just enjoy their company but don't take them home!! How funny. And yes, I could use my own detective friend...
DeleteOh gosh, kids and their "observations." Gotta love it!!
We are finally starting to thaw out as well over here, yay for both of us!!
Many *hugs*
I am voting for having lunch with him. Lunch is generally a safe non date meal. Maybe he has figured out some of your past and has some insight or wants to help somehow. The worst that can happen is you leave. With stalker dude stealing the mail, having a detective around might be helpful.
ReplyDeleteWhat if detective guy turns out to be a stalker? Given his job he'd be a really good one too. Mind=blown lmao
DeleteThat is always possible but if he does end up being stalker detective dude, he seems to be a very polite stalker detective dude. :)
DeleteMaybe! When I talked to him on the phone a cou-ple months ago I told him about the mail being stolen and asked if he had any connections in my county. Could I be that lucky!?
DeleteYea, I'm getting better at feeling out the creepy vibe and so far I don't get one from him.
But, I've been wrong before lol!
You told him no. He keeps coming back. Pretend he's herpes. If herpes kept asking you for a date after you said no, would you say yes simply because it kept asking? When someone won't listen to you, that's called RED FLAG not PRINCE CHARMING.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Nice analogy. I definitely don't want herpes!! Trust me, I'm keeping my eyes peeled for red flags :)
DeleteStupid comment got eaten. Shorter version: they broke up, he waited a few months and gave her a call. We don't know exactly how that call went, but he waited a couple more months and asked her to lunch, which is less intense than dinner. Doesn't seem like a stalker creep who won't go away, but more of a gentle "I'm still here, I still care for you." I think she should hear him out, she, you eden, admit you have a hard time recognizing those who really care for you. This could be him. Now if you firmly tell him to get lost and he doesn't, then obviously that's a big red flag.
ReplyDeleteI think you are replying to the person above this comment... I tend to agree though. Maybe no necessarily that he wants me back, but he has been polite about respecting my wishes while at the same time letting me know he is still interested, so, I think that counts for something.
DeleteIf you don't want to date the detective guy, then don't lol.
ReplyDeleteWhy would he suddenly remember you now? Hate to say it but he probably sees you as a "last resort" because he doesn't have anyone better lined up (better in his view).
If he cared, he'd have kept in touch. Messaging out of the blue=he wants another shot.
If you want another chance with him, now's your opportunity.
I don't think it's because he thinks of her as a last shot, he didn't want to break up in the first place, she broke up with him. She said in another post that he called her a couple months ago too. I think he still wants her back because he knows how great she is, not because he can't find someone else
DeleteMaybe...but then why did he suddenly remember how great she is now? Because she's single again?
DeleteShe said in her that he doesn't even know she is single right now. I don't think he suddenly remembered how great she is, I think he always knew and has been struggling to respect her wishes but still has feelings for her.
DeleteIn her " post." Sorry, missing word!
DeleteYea, he doesn't know I'm single. I broke up with him and told him that I didn't think I was in a position to be friends. He called me a couple months later. It was a nice conversation, he let me know he was still interested, but I told him I was seeing someone. Now it's been another two months and he emailed me asking about lunch. Maybe I'll send him an email back and feel out the situation.
DeleteYour Girl Child. Oh my gosh. That's hilarious. :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the rodent. My cat goes outside to do his business and a couple of weeks ago came flying into the house (almost literally) and I didn't realize until he was inside that he had a mouse in his mouth. I screamed like a little girl, shut all the doors in the room, and patiently waited for the cat to kill the mouse. Yes, I'm evil. But I'm not dealing with still semi-alive mouse that might be carrying a disease that will kill me. Of course, the mouse squeezed himself under the door to the basement. I haven't found it yet. :(
Is he paying for lunch? I'm a terrible person who would never say no to a lunch invitation if the other person is paying. Or maybe I'm just poor and can't turn down a free lunch out.
But besides that, all I can say is trust your gut. Is he asking you out on a date or does he just want to do lunch as friends? Would you even want to be friends with him? Or would you rather just not see or talk to him anymore?
Ah!! That's awful (and funny, for me) that there is a wounded mouse living in your basement. Hopefully it doesn't die in there, I hear that smells horific.
DeleteThat is also really funny about the free lunch. I would assume he is paying simply because he always refuses to let me pay, but the thought hadn't crossed my mind!
I'm honestly not sure what it's about. Not a clue...